mirpof

Dear Mr Hope and Mrs Happiness. Gimme some space to prepare for your arrival. :)

Tomorrow is my graduation day. There'll be a parade along Swanston Street in the morning and the ceremony will be held at Etihad Stadium in the evening. I wish my family were here... Is it bad to be a little envious of having seen friends with their family touring Melbourne and gearing up for the graduation? I guess it is, for it seems very ungrateful of me. Being able to graduate, even having the opportunity to study here, in Melbourne was a blessing. So for tomorrow, I'll have Malaysia Hall assistant warden and his family and a friend to attend the event. well... four tickets, I was given. I'm glad still that there're people who want to go. ahaha. But yeah.. it is not the same. I want my family here. it is impossible I know. The whole world might give you all the attention you deserve, but when the person you care the most ignores you, nothing seems to worth celebrating.

(warning: this is one of those boring emotional lament I often write when I get, well emotional)  Light projection on State Library's facade.  Weather I like it or not, the day will still arrive. I have 5 days, of my 5 years stay here. I know I've been ranting about it for the past few posts... but hey, detachment is god knows difficult. I remember my first tram ride here. It was a tram ride to the city, for in my first year, I lived somewhere in the outskirt of the Melbourne CBD. I was 19, well turning 20 on that year to be exact. That day, I couldn't imagine spending my year after year here, I know that I would, but it was hard to comprehend the idea of being in a foreign land on my own... it was an excitement infused with fear and curiosity...I, was a little kampong girl who for the first time had set her feet in a place somewhere over 4000 miles away from home.. I couldn't imagine all the things that had happened in the last five years, but still... as my memory...

"Say: "O 'Ibadi ( My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins) Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Holy Quran; 39:53)

I failed my first plan. ahaha! My previous post says today should be my last day working as a waitress/ kitchen hand. But, I didn't even get to tell the makcik that I want to quit. so, I'll be working tomorrow. Anyway, now that she makes me work only from 11am - 3pm, I guess it isn't so bad. but hey, I have only two weekends left. I should really tell her that I'm quitting. Now, who says it's easy to be the one's leaving? ;p *neighbor's amp is too loud, should I bang the wall?* hhehe.. sorry for the intermission. Dear readers, How many of you have ever worked in a restaurant? or maybe currently working in one? When I first told my friends that I'll be working as a kitchen hand, they were like "what are you gonna wear?" "you don't seem befitting for the job?" funny aye... I however understand their remarks. I have to say that my wardrobes is rather fancy. Not that stylish though. But I love skirts, la...

Hi, I'm updating again.... It feels like I've been literally living in the present these days, I live my life, as commonly say, going with the flow. Although, I don't live to the common understanding of the phrase, I once said to a friend, that we are the 'flow' of our life. As in, what happens about our life is predetermined by the things we did prior to a circumstance. Therefore, there's really no 'going with the flow' in which we often refer to a situation which we do not make decisions but rather succumbing to fate and go along with it. Deciding not to decide is after all a decision, a predetermination of 'the flow'.. urgh! am I making any sense? Anyway, all that I was about to say is I need to start making plans.  Upon listening to a friend laying out his plan A, B, C, D, E.......Z, I feel like I need to start planning out my life rather than loitering around, solely waiting... waiting... waiting... for.. I don't know. a miracle...

My memories are fragmented. 2 weeks left. This heart is as heavy as a mountain. I'm going to miss not just the place, but all the great friends I met. Who's to say that we will meet again? Not every opportunity comes twice. Hoping for a missing chance to revisit is the beginning of a regret. Malaysia Hall Melbourne. I will write more about this place. A place I never thought I would spend approx. 24 months of my life. Here, I met not just friends, but family. I'll remember this place... but most of all, I remember every happenstance. As the saying goes; "we do not remember days, we remember moments." Mc-ing on MHRC Night (Malaysia Hall Biaanual Dinner) Aishaah, an 8 yr old girl I have grown fond of in the last few months. It is always so easy to love a kid..

You know that feeling when you miss something/one that sits right before you. in front of your eyes, knowing that you prolly won't see it again. That is exactly how I feel right now, as I stroll down every park and street of Melbourne. I am already missing Melbourne! oh, how heavy this heart of mine! Maybe I won't come back here... or even if I do, it'll be in a far unthinkable future. I love this place, but there's nothing for me here. 5 years, and it should be it. 3 weeks left, everything begins to get sentimental... like every petal of a rose given by a lover. I want to remember you forever... Oh! I know I'll miss you. I know I'll miss you dreadfully. I don't really wanna leave you. but I have too. I don't belong here. My dear, I have to go back to where I used to be. But you, in my heart... will always be near.

Imagine waking up to a possum staring right into your eyes. His/her face so closed to yours. The eyes glistened as they pierced right through you.  No no no. Maybe it wasn't the stare that woke you up. It was his/her fur that brushed against the bare skin of your arm. It was a momentous touch that happened for only a tiny second of your life but left a permanent effect on the spot where the intact had occurred. It was fast, instantaneous... perhaps it was longer than you realized for you had been sleeping when it began... but you woke up as you felt the caress... you thought it was a dream... and you opened your eyes.... there, a possum of a size of a fat cat... standing on your bed, in front of your face. Glaring at you... eyes to eyes.... I wished it was an imagination, I wish it was dream. But it wasn't.... I am Zoophobia.  I jumped off a chair when a cat passed through my legs. I borrowed other people bathroom for there was...

It occurs that what worries us the most isn't really about not getting an opportunity to do something that we wish to do, but rather the decision we made upon every chance presented before us. We human, worry about consequences, for it is a lot easier accepting the fact that something is not meant to be ours given the matter remains out of reach. But once an effort was made... we worry about not getting things right or achieving what we had imagined we would achieve before the decision was made ... we human, worry about failure. A famous quote says that... “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” Yet.... There is only a single 'what if...' if we denounce a chance and that is.. "what if I had taken the chance to..."  but it would be hundreds of them.... if we had walked the path.... "what if I did not say that.... "what if I took it slo...

Here's my final project for everyone to have a look at. Click on the image for a larger view. This project is a polemical response to the Malaysian Government’s proposal to build yet another mega tower as a landmark for Kuala Lumpur in the Petronas Twin Tower tradition. The proposition responds to significant public disproval by providing an alternative design to the existing 100-storey mega tower proposal, and in turn seeks to answer whether built form, other than a high rise tower can become a landmark for a city or region?  The critical architectural act is defined by a simple and vernacular process of ‘braiding’. In this case the two separate towers of a Petronas Complex are ‘braided into one’. The two are bonded, separate things united, unity suggested. This is envisaged as an appropriate landmark metaphor for a multi-racial country. A further insight is possible...imagine this...the mighty tower now lies prostrate. It is reclaimed by Kampung ...

I am nervous. God knows.

Image taken from here ahahaaa... I never knew it is called Jitra Toilet.... ahhaha..

Hello. How is everyone today? ahaa.. that sounds a little like a teacher or maybe a tv presenter or maybe some boring dj in the lamest radio channel. oh, do you know that I once wanted to be a tv presenter or a dj. I think I blogged bout that before.  Anyway, today, I would like to write about charms or attractiveness. eh! whats up with all this formality.. ahah.. this post should be a brief one.  What defines attractiveness to you? I've been browsing through Lat's cartoon these few days for my major project. Since my project looks very much cartoon-ish, my sv, Neil suggested I should present it more like a comic, and make it very Malaysia-ish.. thus, I decided to present it in the manner of Lat's. I tell you man, it's difficult to copy something as great as that. ah! this is so nostalgic! I think I called in tumbui instead of tumbung. Image taken from here . Browsing through some of his cartoons took me to various cartoonist/ artist websites,...

Bismillah... A friend, upon knowing how I never had any exam except 3 minor tests in 5 years study asked how do I really cope with presentations, don't I feel nervous or anything. I guess for most architecture students, weekly presentation is like going to the toilet in a cold wintry night. It's  torturous sometimes, but we gotta do it anyway because to wet your mattress during winter is the worse decision ever, It ain't no sun to light it dry, leaving you sleeping on the floor for the following months. Damp and dirty mattress will invite bedbugs... and, oh, you know what they do... ok sudah2.. the analogy is getting to far... but who wets a mattress even in a other season? baloq sungguh. eee. pengotoq. Anyway, most of us can actually do the presentation subconsciously... u know, like how you p** with your eyes half-opened/closed. It's just something we used to do. fullstop. Nevertheless, for major presentations... as for me, I still get fireflies in my...

Thursday was somewhat momentous. ahaha.. that prolly sounds a bit too dramatic. Anyway, I had a second mid crit for my major project. One last public review before the final presentation in November. I was all nervous since the night before. I really shouldn't be for I've been doing project presentation for like almost five years till now, but somehow, I was indeed not quite myself. I had a restless night like a typical-night-before-crit, in which I would either had no sleep or sleep like a sheep jumping on a trampoline on his two feet. I mean, tidoq jaga-lena-jaga-lena.... Unlike many other students, I was asked by my supervisor to prepare slides presentation other than 3A0 posters that go on the wall. I didn't finish the slides until like 30 minutes before the crit session started. It added to my nervousness that I had never set up the built-in projector in the allocated studio room where we'll be presenting. Being the only person using it, it was all up to me to set ...

Remember when you knew nothing but the face and voice of your mother. Remember when you liked everything including the striking red worn out sandals of your neighbor. Remember when the sky always felt so high yet so touchable by the sunlight penetrated through the gaps of your fingers, your breath always felt so fresh, your mind was as light as the wind breezing the lovegrass lawn at the back of your door where you used to sit in the midst of it and got up with the seed heeds all over your pants. Remember how a rainy day never grieved you, instead it called for joy of a mud bath and outdoor shower. Remember how rainbow always amazed you, leaving you wondering weather there was really a box of colorful floating ribbons and magic art tools at the both ends of it. Remember how everybody pleased you, even just a smiling stranger. Remember, remember... remember how everything was so beautiful including me and you. I think I remember, I hope you do too.

I always find it a bit 'poyo' to always use 'stress' as an excuse for something. Eg; to get angry at others, to act sick, to skip classes, to apply for special consideration for late presentation/exams, to cry like a baby out of the blue. Nevertheless, I think I in my not-so-right-mind do all the above except applying for a special consideration because as for me, no matter how stressful a situation can get, alhamdulillah... I always find a way to keep up with datelines. So it is what it is, saya jugak poyo lah mcm tu. Anyways, we all have our own ways in managing stress... eg; shopping, p bertumbuk dgn org, tidoq tak bngun2... it always good to channel out our negative energy as long as, tak menyusahkan orang. apparantly, kalau p shopping pakai credit card cik abang tu, kesian la.. bertumbuk ngan org tu lagi buruk perangai. There are also many reasons why someone gets so stressed out Workloads is a common example, a good and acceptable one. but there are many other re...

"Asriah, please don't get married... kalau u kawen semua ni nanti hilang..." Alynn

Bismillah~ There had been too many unpublished posts for the last couple of weeks. whilst writing this, my heart is wishfully praying that this one would be a finished post albeit part of me is confidently saying..'no, you're not gonna make it, u don't really have much to babble about tonight, u're not gonna talk about mat sabu or prof zainal kling, not even commenting on somalia or even 9/11 anniversary...u'll fall asleep halfway through the writing...' oh! that monologue was prolly unnecessary, a bit too much for an intro yea? So how are you dear readers (if there were any laa)... blogging often feels like throwing words into space relying on the luck of random projectile motions, wondering or maybe more accurately hoping there'd be some wanderers with too much time in hands aka stalkers, stumbling upon it and subconsciously reading through all these words that may or may not carry any meaning to his or her life. How is life getting on for everyone out the...

I came to RMIT (my uni) hurriedly this morning.. worrying not be able to get any computer to work on for I wasn't as early as I should have been... there are only a few computer labs in this design school and during weekdays like this, some of the labs are used for teaching and only one or two are available for students, and most of the time, if you're late... most of the computers are already taken... Since my computer is now old and lazy, not to mention making sounds like the engine of an aeroplane.... I prefer to work at RMIT, the computer is faster, the softwares are all uptodate, faster and unlimited internet connection, I procrastinate less etc etc etc.... Anyway, on my way here... as usual, I took a tram... however the pakcik tram (driver) seemed to be a little careless this morning, he stopped the tram so sudden causing me who was standing without holding on a thing to loose my balance andddddd.... fell... well, almost did. but was saved... by a stranger... *say: aaa...

I didn't know that Hamza Namira has a new album, Insan, after Ehlam Ma'a (Dream with Me) until today... now I'm so addicted to this song. I like that most of his songs in Insan ain't so melancholic... so refreshing! ياما نفسي أعيش انسان قلبه على كفه Oh how I wish to live like a human being who carries his heart in his hand كل اللي بردانين ف كفوفه يتدفوا All those feeling cold would find warmth in the palms of his hands يضحك يضحّك خلق الله When he laughs all of God’s creation laughs يفرح يفرّح كله معاه When he’s happy he makes everyone else happy إنسان جواك وجوايا A human being inside you and me إنسان له حلم له غاية A human being who has a dream and an aim اللي معاه على طول مش ليه He’s always giving away everything he has ولا حتى روحه ملك إيديه And he doesn’t even own his own spirit جواه في قلبه ونن عينيه Inside his heart and in the depths of his eyes شايل أمل وشروق وحياة He carries hope, sunrise and life إنسان بيحب ولا يكره A human being who lov...

Two and Four. shouldn't I be worried? oh well................ ;)

For the first time in my architecture-life, I'm bringing my poems into architecture. What's more interesting is, I use my poems in their original form, by this I mean, in Malay language. Now everybody in my class knows how Malay language sounds like. ahaha... The project is pretty much investigating the space between poems. The atmosphere of hearing two poems recited simultaneously. Sounds that make space, space that's defined by sound. Seriously, I don't really know how it'll work out... but hey, just having some experimentation with stuff a bit off-architecture... a break from my headache major project. Plus, I kinda enjoy making people listen to my poems without expecting them to understand a word... rather then, reciting to a bunch of people who understand but couldn't 'appreciate' them... and yeah, I receive some flattering comments from 'mat-salleh' course mate like... "when something is well written, even you can't understand it.....

You do not know how much what you say on fb or twitter can affect others. or at least make others think. for example, a brother on my twitter tweeted; "a sister's reading Quran on the tram, mashaAllah" This left me pondering about people's perception seeing me reading Quran on a tram. I don't do it frequently, in fact I rarely carry Quran around since I use iphone for there's an apps for it, but now that its Ramadhan, just like many of us I try my best to increase my Quran reading as much as I can... and travelling over an hour to and fro almost everyday gives me quite a chance to flip through my little holy book. I used not to mind what people think, especially the non-muslims. I sometimes like how that sort of thing kinda become a conversation starter. but to make 'an impression' on other muslim, is the least I wish to do. To me...it's some kind of guilt to present yourself better than what you are. I feel ashamed if people had given a better im...

you do know what happened to the run away rhabit. don't you? She died.

I guess the more we think about it, the harder it seems to realise. The question I myself put forward is the one that's hindering me from moving on. Oh, my fellow Malaysian....please tell me What is really our identity? When Malaysia is mentioned, what's the first image that comes across your mind? other than food? What sort of pictorial quality and tangible idea should I look at, without being socially bias of course? I mean, songket is too Malay, Bak kut teh is too Chinese and Sari is too Indian. Is there any cultural element that really belong to all of us. (jangan ckp 1Malaysia boleh tak?) This is difficult. T.T

Life can be pretty funny sometimes.... like how it keeps you waiting for something which is already yours... or hoping for something which you'll never have. but... as, a friend said to me, why worry for something you do not know. Especially when you have a lot of other important (certain) things to worry about. ;) The only very certain thing about life is, it will end. Lets strive for what's worth it. Ramadhan is coming... semoga sempat sampai and hoping it to be the best of all the previous Ramadhan. Plus, this would prolly be my last Ramadhan (here).

I used to write little notes to myself when I'm in distress and put them at random places, just wherever I feel like hiding it. such as in the deep of a drawer, in the pocket of my organizer, in my arts box, between books or just pin it to the soft board.... It cheers me up when I discover them after sometime. hahaa. It occurs that... when you're down, the only person who can lift you up again, is yourself... and only Allah Jalla wa A'la can give you the strength you need. I just found one today. It can be quite tah-apa-apa... but hey, I made myself smile today. hahaa... *narcissist much!*

The naive and inexperience me never thought I would end up falling in love with this place, to an extend... I wish I could stay and build a life here. haha... I love Melbourne. I would have to go back still... for a lot more love than merely a love for a place, a place that never was and never will be mine. Opss... too soon aihhh to sedih2... a semester to go yo! praying for the best semester in my 5 years here, inshaAllah.  “Allahumma la sahla illama ja-‘altahu sahla anta taj ‘alu al hazana eza ma shi’ta sahla.” “ Oh Allah! Nothing is easy except what you have made easy. If you wish, you can make the difficult easy.” All the best to whoever needs the best in life ;)

Everything sounds possible, achievable.... until you start putting them on paper and begin to work it out. By then you know, it's bloody difficult.  oh well, as I was told, if life is as simple as a game strategy in which after a few levels you'd start to understand the pattern and move and be able to anticipate the next... it won't be interesting, perhaps... not worth living. yes it is not a game... but still, it needs strategy... life needs to be carefully planned. what the future will be like, we can't forecast. maybe it won't rain tomorrow, but at least... last three years I've bought myself an umbrella, and I have it in my provision...in case in rains the day after tomorrow. I need to let go some of this baggage. 

Is it true that, if you tell people that you have the best/ the most precious thing in the whole wide universe, no one would ever believe in you? that... it is better for you, not to say anything... or people would just think you're insane. Is it true that, if you must always hide a matter, it is in some senses, is a crime? or to some people.. whom it may or may not concern, or who may or may not concern you, it is rather offensive? Is it true that, if too many people know about a thing that you believe is about to happen which you're somehow still quite curious about how it's going to happen, it will never ever happen... you would then have to blame it on the expectation. Expectation kills, curiosity has retired.   I don't know which one is which, which one is true. The spider has gone mad. Oh, but I know, in this world , there is you. 

The first time I heard about it, I was like... LOL...! now, there's a club for that? ridiculous! anyways, I took that as  a joke, but later realized...woooaaah, these guys are pretty serious. They even made it international yo! haha I wonder what's the main motivation that leads them to this. Educating women to be obedient? Teaching domestic housewife skills including, how-to-treat-your-husband-in-bed by comparing to the first-class-whores? what the..! or just a way of asking some acknowledgement from the male species that we're trying realllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy hard here to please you.... awwwwwww~  I supposed the club provides them with certificates too... that's what you got after every seminar or skills training, aite? So the next time the husband complains, the wife can pretty much go;  "abang! I taatt, ni ada sijil tau... jangan main2" Godness gracious! they made men seem like such a pervert species on earth.  and don't we have enough ...