mirpof

Bismillah... Every molecule of body is aching to blog for I have a story to share. An occurrence that really made my day. But first of all, a few updates. +I'm now back in Melbourne. It's a cold summer over here. I don't expect the weather to be like this in February. Melbourne weather is such a woman. Can't wait for autumn, my all-time favorite season, it will be my last autumn here inshaAllah. +I am in my final year of architecture... still remember the first day I got here. The semester is commencing soon. Pray for me my friends for I'm indeed feeling very anxious about it. So the story.... A friend and I were heading for a lunch in the city. We were walking along Swanston Street when a guy of mid 50 or maybe 60 halted us by his 'Assalamualaikum...'  He started by asking if we speak Arabic. I, who only know a few basic words considered myself don't know the language. We expected him to be a person who doesn't speak much English and needs a...

Sebuah kapal terbang baru saja melewati langit pagi yang tenang di perkampungan Mengkuang. Terbangnya teramatlah rendah, boleh kata lebih kurang 40 meter dari paras bumi. Menurut si Talhah yang obses dengan kapal terbang semenjak kecilnya (skrg bawa lari kamera aku menunggu jika kapal terbang itu lintas lagi), jenis kapal terbang tersebut ialah F/A-18 Hornet. tak tahulah boleh percaya atau tak budak tu. Malaysia dahla ada 8 buah saja jet tu, apa benda dia nak buat dekat sini.... oh, tapi berdekatan Teluk Air Tawar memang ada lapangan latihan tentera udara.  F/A 18Ds Hornet Teringat, kecil-kecil dulu selalu la jugak perasan kapal terbang terbang rendah, berlatih agaknya... tapi rendah sungguh terbangnya tadi... bak kata Dihyah 'bihsiinnnggg '. Getus hatiku pula "patut saman ja depa ni, mengganggu ketenteraman awam sungguh, terkejut kot tadi. Kalau ada baby tengah lena, mesti jaga" Namun, sejenak, ditamu pulak sekelumit rasa ngeri di sudut hati. Terbayang mereka ...

2 very close relatives (an uncle and cousin) passed away last year. Yesterday, a neighbor’s grandson involved in an accident, and died. Last few months, a cousin’s house was caught fire, his wife was severely injured and breathed her last after few days in ICU My friend was 19 and he was killed in a road accident when I was 18. Another friend… a year younger, passed away of a lung cancer. A neighbor whom I don’t remember his name died last month. We all will eventually die, it’s just the matter of when… and normally whenever the thought of dying visits, it comes with that lame rhetorical question which often left unanswered… Are you ready? constantly reminded, yet continuously forgetting.... Me!

Puasa. Bulan puasa begini rindu sama keluarga menjadi-jadi. Kalau boleh tiap-tiap hari nak telefon mak, Tanya mak masak apa. Siapa buka puasa di rumah, kak long bang ngah bangki semua balik ka? (abg ngah rumah sebelah tu boleh kira kategori ‘balik’ kah? Mak masak enak-enak untuk iftar di Al-Qayyim.. hari itu mak masak gulai tulang dengan sambal belacan yang best. Semalam telefon mak buat ayam masak cabai (bahasa standard ayam masak merah kot), resepi baru mak kata. Terkenang anak2 saudara duduk melukut kerumun makanan sementara tunggu tok siak ketuk gendang. Oh, tapi sekarang mereka sudah besar-besar. Tiga tahun sudah tidak berpuasa bersama. InshaAllah kesepatan hanya akan tiba selepas 2 tahun lagi. Moga usia kita dipanjangkan untuk kebaikan. Tetamu . Dapat berita, ada tetamu tak diduga datang bertandang. Oh, cerita lama. Cerita hati yang luka. Cerita fitnah yang menguja. Terima kasih ya tuhan, hantari aku jauh-jauh ke sini. Sungguh, Dia tahu yang terbaik utnuk hambanya. Rumah. ...

Bismillah... Ramadhan. 8 days.. cepatnya! Quran ..the beautiful story of Yusuf... Death. ..comes when one least expected... Youth. 22... what will be the answer? Jealousy. Quran:chapter 12. Architect. Not a profession but a type of human being. Love. What kind? Culture. "Baju Kurung" Friends. ..everywhere not everyone... Future ..secret.. Iftar. Nak masak apa?              gambar sekadar hiasan 

melihat kiambang-kiambang layu, mengingatkan aku tentang esok yang belum tentu... kiambang-kiambang ini, pada semusim yang lalu pastinya menghias tasik itu..menerima puji dari yang kunjung, menambat rindu bagi yang pergi.. namun saat aku tiba, serinya sudah tiada, dahan-dahan meratap hiba dan daun-daunnya menjadi sisa... suatu saat akan tiba, ke dasar tasik akan beradu... bagi kiambang di tasik itu, segalanya berakhir di situ... namun bagi aku, akhirnya di sana... di mana yang kita semua tahu... pada kiambang layu, aku bungkamkan segala radang dan bimbang.. tentang seseorang.. dan seseorang itu ialah aku~

Tengah diamuk kesibukan yang menggila.. tapi tangan gatal benar nak memblog juga.. sedikit sahaja.. alkisah tentang seorang kenalan dari pusat pengajian.. katanya, setelah mati, dia ingin menjadi berlian.. dia mengakui dirinya seorang kristian.. dan seorang yang perbersih teramat.. maka bila difikirkan setelah mati, dikeranda dan dan disimpan diperut bumi... maka datanglah ulat belulat memamah isi.. terus merasa teramat geli dan tidak bersih sekali... maka dia lebih rela dibakar menjadi abu yang berunsur karbon.. setelah menjadi abu berunsur karbon.. karbon tersebut bolehlah diberliankan menggunakan teknologi tinggi... maka dirinya sesudah mati adalah berlian.. bolehlah dijadikan warisan.. disemadikan pada lukisan mahupun dijadikan bahan pameran.. maka sekarang.. dia senang menyimpan...supaya setelah mati, wasiatnya tidak menjadi beban... sunguh.. sungguh.. sungguh aku bersyukur mempercayai hari kemudian ('',) andai matimu, jasad menjadi berlian... moga matiku, ruh menjadi teta...

WARNING!!! This is a weird post.. So don't read if u don't want to get confused... Triggered by a blogger friend's post on his blog, tinta kata ... ( I hope you dont mind about this) I come to an extent of writing something about it, something about me... though, people said idiots write about themselves... but I dont care, some stuffs are worth sharing... Though others might think, I wrote craps... I'm so really don't care... ahaha.. So, here the story.... Many moons ago, I was a lost soul... Not that I had not a body to house, but I knew not how to stay... Then, was the time, when illusion was celebrated as life... Reality was a sad fantasy that I knew but never realized... I used to laugh... laughed so loud that I forget a moment after I would cry... then, I cried, cried so hard as if there will be no tomorrow... People thought, I lived my life at the fullest, but I was, living my life at the dumbest... People said, I was a bright child... I breezed through exams...

Journey- The brothahood sleepwalking in a world that's so cold, don't know where to turn right turn left turn i yearn for some sort of guidance confusing flusters bounce in my throbbing mind where can i find a guide to take my hand lead me in the way of the perfect creation, he who is guaranteed paradise but still weeps, standing long in the night with hurt feet, Our blood at the moment is dirt cheap, spilling on the land spilling on the sand,where is my iman...please take me by the hand wake me from this sleep, convert this solid rock inside my chest lacking purity and soft-ness and i need a rest from this busy world to find myself, forget my weatlh, my spirtual health it needs some help where are you...i need some help before i'm judged i need to help myself get help but the lazy beast which is myself lacks motivation..lacks the patience..lacks instigation where do i look...or will he find me? i wanna be at the lote tree.. don't walk past try to fast so i can build up...

Ramadhan bakal pergi... dan aku bakal dimabuk rindu lagi.. ahhh..ramadhan... alangkah cepat kau berlalu.. apakah aku telah mempersiakan hadirmu... jejak kelmarinmu...bagai tidak ku isi sempurna...malam-malam bersama mu..apakah aku hanya tidur lena... ramadhan..masih punyakah jodoh kita utk episod seterusnya.... Ramadhan kali ini..bukan sekadar episod baru dalam hidupku...tapi anjakan jiwa yg jitu... Ramadhan kali ini membawa cerita... ku lihat manusia pada neraca berbeza... mungkin kadangkala masih terantuk pada neraca hamba yang sering lupa.. tapi, neraca tuhanku mula ku terbiasa... menilai tekad dan harapan, kesungguhan dan perngorbanan dan natijah bukanlah persoalan... bicara seorang teman, Ramadhan kali ini suatu penapisan... aku kira... ada kebenaran... hidayah itu bukan suatu khazanah simpanan... diberi lalu dsemadikan... apabila perlu atau mahu maka dijadikan gadaian.... Hidayah itu, hadirnya bagai cahaya, jika ruang tidak dibuka, biar sesinar mana cahaya yang ada..tiada akan ma...

Agak seketika smenjak post yg lalu....dan hari ini.. aku kembali menatap ruang blog ini... kembali mencoret cebisan2 rasa... moga ada redha dlm lena dan jaga... Ramadhan... ramadhan ini ramadhan pertama aku disini.. suasana baru...dan yang penting... tekad yang baru... sesegar tekad yang ada.. ku pohon pdNya teguh jiwa ...bagai baru semalam segalanya bermula.. dan hari ini.. atas kurnia usia drNya..aku masih menelusuri denai2 payah dan susah demi esok yg lebih cerah... hanya padaMu ya Allah..ku sandar tekad dan harapan... suatu imbauan pd pengisian ramadhan...kisah jahilliyah.. ya... Jahilliyah.. bukanlah jahilliyah pd rangka masa yang merujuk pd masyarakat arab sebelum kedatangan islam.. ttapi jahilliyah yg tumbuh hidup dan bersarang dlm jiwa...menjadi sebati dgn hati dan diri...nauzubillah... sejenak pada hari-hari lalu hidupku... betapa aku mensiakan nikmat usia yang ada...jahilliyah ku pada tingkah dan kata... astaghfirullah...ampuniku ya Allah... Jahilliyah- apa baja yg ku tabur h...

i can see a great gesture of mujaddid s and mujahid s who promised a great future of this holy religion...As it says in the hadith: "Allah shall raise for this Umma at the head of every century a man who shall renew (or revive) for it its religion" (Sunan Abu Dawud, Kitab al-Malahim, ch. 1) ...which, i can say.. this gesture has already begun and its visible to my eyes... Alhamdullillah...i might not live long enough to see Islam rises again, control the earth and ruled by a great khalifah..(we don't even have any khalifah at the moment)...but..as long as its already began... there is a promise... and i want to be one of the mujahidah who strives in Allah's path and for the sake of His religion. i can see Palestine liberated and Al-Quds becomes a free sanctuary for every Muslim's soul. i can walk anywhere on the earth and people will respect and be friend with me as i am a Muslim... not just a human being...sometimes, even with a Muslim, they hardly be friend in ...

I am all alone in my apartment... but i know He is watching me... n His loyal angels are jotting down every single deed of mine.. hopefully this blogging thing ain't something bad... i need to keep on writing... this is, sort of self reminder.. cause, i might forget how i feel today, at this very moment..once i open my eyes tomorrow..if only..i do open my eyes, again... Somehow.. i really like being alone... i feel closer to Him... i become very needy, and i know He is there to suffice me... i feel really vulnerable, yet i know... i can always turn to Him... But...there are things at the back of my mind which..i try hard to forget... but it keeps coming back to me... especially, when I'm alone...my past... undoubtedly, it is really hard to get rid of the past...its not that i want to forget.. its just, i wish.. i don't think too much...its sort of unpleasant feelings...I'm haunted by my past..and its really hard to deal with...regret and repent never seemed enough... ...

Tuhan dulu pernah aku menagih simpati Kepada manusia yang alpa jua buta Lalu terheretlah aku dilorong gelisah Luka hati yang berdarah kini jadi parah Semalam sudah sampai kepenghujungnya Kisah seribu duka ku harap sudah berlalu Tak ingin lagi kuulangi kembali Gerak dosa yang menhiris hati Tuhan dosa itu menggunung Tapi rahmat-Mu melangit luas Harga selautan syukurku Hanyalah setitis nikmat-Mu di bumi Tuhan walau taubat sering kumungkir Namun pengampunan-Mu tak pernah bertepi Bila selangkah kurapat pada-Mu Seribu langkah Kau rapat padaku SO MEANINGFUL!!!

i know its hard.. i know it fr the very beginning.. opting this decision..its hard man..really hard.. i know... i know it very well... but i think i can do it... i really think so....by thinking so...am i being a hypocrite?? am i a deceitful person... look at me...I'm still me, not much has changed... well..externally, those who know me before might notice a few changes...yet..what matter most, ain't what people can see and judge...external things...huh..there are just claddings.. what with so fantastic look externally but inside..huh crap.. eg; Guggenheim museum, Bilbao by Frank Ghery , those titaniums thingy, its merely cladding man..internally.. just a conservative spaces... look at Adolf Loos's Muller Villa... isn't it interesting.. externally, so humble, so rational, very pure forms but interior..so rich with meanings..very luxurious... no one will know by passing by the villa unless they get in it... Oooopss...what with this archi stuffs.. haha...well.. i call th...

the journey has begun.. n im ready... aiming for His mercy n grace... O'Allah, grant me strenght.. ur servant has finally find her way.. in a land of strangers... i see my hidden trueself.. i hear the silent whisper of my desire..i sense the existence of my heart... a forgetful servant has finally wake up from her long deep sleep...step by step...im pacing thru the way... i will never look back, insyaAllah.. keep all the past at the back of my mind.. will never forget, but will take as a lesson...this ain't ez.. but i know.. He is always with me..

the beginning..