Thursday, April 29, 2010

Masih Menatap Pelangi =)

Petang begini, sejuk begini… kerja tak beranak juga! Ah, Penat sudah aku kandung beban pelajaran… hei, mengeluhkah kamu pada nikmat tuhan?! alangkah… alangkah tak bersyukur….

Lama sudah…lama sudah tak berbasa basi berlidah ibunda…ah, mungkin ayahanda lebih tepat… Sungguh aku rindu pada hari-hari aku tidak terlalu mabuk memburu… memburu bintang dan bayang kejora yang sayup dipandang, membiar bumi di tapak kaki menjadi misteri… Ini hidup, segalanya tak pasti kecuali mati.

Mendung, mendung di musim luruh penghujung April. Aku masih di negeri orang, bukan tak ku ketemu jalan pulang… Cuma sarat beban ku sandang menjadikan aku dagang… aku dagang tak terbuang!

Haha.. seperenggan keluhan manjadi habuan butang ‘delete’….

Semenjak dua menjak ini, seringkali aku begini, menelan bicara di sisir bibir.. riuh tari bahasa berkeroncong masih mampu ku redam, diam. Aku sendiri menjadi aneh, sedang aku yang biasa, atau lebih tepat yang dahulunya… sukar amat menelan bicara, mudah amat memuntah rasa. Apa agaknya yang buat aku begini… pada sisi yang cerah, dalam banyak situsi yang menyerlah, aku apapun kian mengerti… diam itu lebih sempurna!

Masa berlalu, rasa bersilih tamu. Aku masih bergelut dengan yang perlu dan yang mampu. Alasan berkalang alasan menangguh yang perlu menghad yang mampu. Aku masih bicara sendiri tentang sufi jiwa yang jauh… sayang, bicara mati pada bicara! menolak mudharat ku biar lambat, menanti manfaat ku harap cepat… ahhhhh! mana satu penjuru hendak ku lampiaskan lelah yang sudah semu. Pada tuhan, pada tuhan, pada tuhan… aku serahkan pengharapan! Indahnya nikmat bertuhan!

Aku ada cerita tentang bunga. Ada sekuntum bunga di tasik halaman istana, bunga milik si maharaja! Segala mata memandang dan memuja… “indahnya bunga maharaja “... hei manusia, mari aku khabarkan pada semua, bunga itu… tumbuhnya di mana-mana. Tak percaya, cubalah ke paya terbiar dalam belukar, dia ada! Cubalah ke sungai mengalir di hilir, dia ada… indah yang kamu lihat itu hei manusia, hanya kerana latarnya istana, sedang bunga itu, hanya biasa… teramatlah biasa… tiada punya warna, tiada harum juga! yang indah itu istana, bukannya bunga... kalau kamu memandang itu kerana dia di tasik maharaja, aku pesan sama kamu… butakan, butakan mata kamu dari melihatnya… dia itu tak punya nilai yang kamu damba! Mengerti?! Lagipun, aku rasa-rasa… bunga itu, tidak mahu disapa.

Hari ini dingin. Dingin biasa musim luruh. Hati aku juga dingin, sedingin embun pagi yang belum gugur dan kabus senja yang masih kabur. Tapi dingin ini tidak membeku, sekadar membendung rasa yang ada agar tidak basi… sehinggalah tiba masa dinanti untuk dipanaskan dengan gelombang mikro dari sumber yang sama, hati.

Friday, April 23, 2010



It’s Friday today… a strange one!

I was on my way to RMIT this morning, and as usual I was day dreaming on the tram since I got nothing to do except wondering about a few random things, but I suddenly noticed The Yellow Peril. In case some of you do not know, it’s a vault-like public sculpture installed somewhere in the 80s. Nothing is so strange about seeing it, in fact it has been there for so long as far as the internet is concerned… but I’m pretty sure, I saw it somewhere else before, and at a few other places as well… do they move the thing around? herm, all this while, I’ve been traveling back and forth via the same street but had never noticed it… it might have skipped my sight all this while but people said I got ‘good-eyes’ despite of their size…, how come I missed that striking yellow thing? btw, I only have good eyes when I’m mute!
The Yellow Peril

I went to the library to look for a book recommended by a friend, since the book did not interest me much, I went about for some other books just to later realize that I have been blocked from borrowing due to some fines… anyway, since I was in a hurry, I decided to forget about borrowing those books and went to the prayer room for zohor… on my way to the prayer room, I saw a dark haired girl with her bangs dyed in red… as my eyes caught the sight of her, my brain somehow processed it as an image of a hen, wearing a blue polka dot dress and a pair of boots… how strange! and I giggled! Others who saw me might have thought I’ve gone mad. Arghhh… how embarrassing!
Sorry, couldn't fine and exact photo of my imagination.

After the prayer, I dashed out to meet my friend Oya at a grocery… there is something about the way I walk I guess that always make me tend to trip at every approximately 100 steps. Yes. I’m so clumsy… that’s why sometimes I prefer to wear heels, because they make me more cautious about the way I walk… its true, I tend to trip more when I wear flats or pumps… anyway, accidents happen without notice… so today, I tripped my legs while walking down the stairs… but LUCKILY… my hands were quick… my right hand managed to fast grab the handrail while my left hand to the stone wall. The stone wall however bruised my palm. It wasn’t serious but somehow shook me to reality… I imagined, if somehow.. I did not grab the handrail and stumbled down, my face would have slammed and kissed the ground first. I was in the second step from top which means, it’s pretty high to get to the floor. It’s a steep steel staircase btw. It would have turned out to something horribly bad. It would have been my farewell. Oh God. Am I ready to meet You? However, it wasn’t embarrassing since no one was around. Heee…

The incident gave me quite a blood rush. I was in high emotion when I saw a couple about 50s adoring their youthful son. He and his wife were snapping photos of his son laying on the artificial turf. The expression on the parents face were like “we are so proud that we produce such a beautiful kid” and the son was like “look at me old man, I look way better than you do when you were young”…. I know, it’s purely my speculative mind, but that’s how it seemed. Haish, how you present yourself to the public always matters!

gah! what is this about?

Poor kid... 

And as I walked pass that ‘adorable’ family… I saw a young dad with his leashed son. you know... that bloody inhumane invention.. yes, the thing has been out for so long… I’ve seen it before somewhere and I read it on the internet about the safety and all… but for God sake! You make your kid seem like a dog. I might sound like.. vanity outweighing safety, but to me, it’s a domestic disgrace!. Poor kid. It gives such a dirty look. Knowing that the child is safely attached to him, the dad has a tendency to ignore the kid, making the kid seems so abandoned. What in the world are they thinking, do you think that kidnapper doesn’t know how to use scissors? That bloody leash is just some sort of fabric. Dear all designers, there should be some dignities in every invention. The emotion flooded in suddenly… when I have a child/children blablabla… you know, that sort of futuristic domestic thoughts…. Heheee…

So I eventually met my friend… we had a lunch at kopitiam and ended up talking about opening a restaurant oversea… it's plainly a ‘kopitiam’ talk… the nasi ayam was nice anyway, and I miss home so badly!

It was raining when my friend and I headed home. And all the way back, my mind wandered again, thinking about how much I hope for tomorrow while not knowing if tomorrow would come. And how many good things I’ve planned and planned but keep on postponing… so that there will a be ‘right’ date or a better day for it… but all these plans might just be in vain. And at one point, uncertainties seem to silence all my courage, but hey… nothing is certain but death. Hahaa… I don’t know how do I get to this point, it all seems so incoherence… but yeah, in every aspect of life… I'm feeling a little discouraged. I just somehow wish that, I’m more of a present-person..........cheeer upppp... cheerrrr up.... =)

Friday, April 16, 2010


Hey! It’s weekend! And all I really want to do is to snuggle comfortably under my warm duvet, pick up a good book and put on the sentimental playlist on my iTunes. A glass of milk and some snickers cookies would be a nice treat. Oh! How nice to be able to spend a weekend like that.

Also, if only I could spend my day just talking to my love ones… even just through phones… listen to their stories, without having to say “sorry kak long, ada lecture ni…ttyl” or “ayah, adik nak kena turun sat ni, ada perjumpaan” or “nak kena tidoq ni, esok nak sambung buat kerja” or without having to worry about the phone bills and internet data so goodbye doesn’t come too soon.. Oh.. How wonderful!


This is a super busy week. MID SEMESTER CRIT is on Wednesday… aaaaa! I’m so scared!

cakap tepon pun penuh anggun!

Anyway, things will get worse before they get better. I'm hoping for the best... inshaAllah.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Why am I so EMO (Emosi Menguasai Otak) and OTC (Otak Tak Center) lately?!

1. The demolition of Pudu Jail enrages me. I might be a little behind in commenting about the issue… but I’ve been expecting more furious uproars from the public… does that 114 years old historical building have no meaning at all to us? At least a bit? Peeps, learn to preserve, not for the sake of a building… but for the history and memory… where are all Malaysian great architects and socialists? It was stupid, whatever the arguments were. The old blocks might be ugly, but is not about the pure aesthetic… it’s about the meaning… hello, great looking building might leave everyone in awe, but a meaningful building speaks to the heart… it makes us think and reminds us of something significant of the place… Btw, thanks friend for updating me about politik-alam-bina tanah air…

2. I subscribed to mstaronline on twitter and almost every week, there is a news about “dumping baby” and the news hence followed by such-and-such person admits or pleads guilty for the act… gaaaaaaaah… malas dah nak komen… but why is it so common these days? What’s going on over there? Hello home… you owe me an explanation.

3. I planned to go back home this winter, well.. wasn’t really a ‘plan’.. but I did consider about it… everyone around was talking about cheap flight blablabla…and I was so excited… but I cari-cari, tak jumpa ponnnnn… waaaa… rasa nak balik niiiii… Fine. I’m not going back.

4. I’m trying my best to cut down my caffeine intake… it’s for my own good, I know. But, God! It ain’t easy… I guess I’m addicted, blame it on Jarrah… but I think, it’s not really like an addiction because, if I don’t do work, I won’t really feel like drinking coffee at all… but these days, the works are piling up… so does my craving… haish!

5. I have a test on Friday. Second test in 4 years.. you hear me? Second test in 4 years!!! Yes. And I don’t even remember how to ‘study’… and the only thing that I did for the test was just printing out the about-60 pages notes… and I’m so freaking nervous here… but I’m not reading the notes because I have to do an animation for my design studio… tapi ada masa pulak update blog! Heh, diam!!!

6. I miss reading good-non architectural-books. Every week, I have to read pagesssss of architectural discourses (it’s a part of the studio requirement) and that really kills my ‘appetite’ to read other stuffs. Uwekkk! I’m sick! I have 3 lovely-books waiting for me… Hold on darlings…!!! I’ll get my hands on you soon. Hahaa…

7. I have a mid-semester crit next week on Wednesday. No further explanations required. I wonder what would they ask for the presentation when weekly presentation has already demanded for an animation. Kena buat movie kot… haha.. anyway, I need to do my best this time!

8. I didn’t get my Easter break. That supposed to be last week. Waaa… tak aci… I planned to visit the gallery and beaches…. Lama tak bawa diri…

9. My diet is a bit haywire these days. I’m not eating properly, abusing my stomach. Baloq.

10. OK, I’m going to stop here. SO the final one is, my heart. She refuses to listen to me these days. Nak kena ni!!!

OK, that’s all…don't cari-cari pasal aaa...  I’m EMO and OTC!!!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Pergi Pisang

It’s funny how certain food could bring back long lost memories… Pisang pun boleh imbas kenangan lalu… ish, kalau la boleh masak kat sini kan best… boleh buat cucuq pisang… haa, kenapa org johor makan cucuq pisang dgn cabai kicap? Peliknya…

Teringat ni…

I was once treated for low potassium levels in my blood. I remember having to wake up at 300 am to swallow little yellow pills… sampai sekarang tak fhm kenapa kena makan ubat pukui 3 pagi? it wasn’t serious though.. but as I was discharged from the hospital, I was advised to eat at least a banana every day which I only followed for about a week I guess… haha.. susahla duk asrama… dewan makan bukan bagi pisang tiap2 hari… malas juga nak beli pisang bawa balik bilik, macam pelik… but since I had to choose between pills and pisang, of course I went for pisang since I hate ubat with all my heart…

Tiba-tiba tergerak nak search pasal hypokalemia

I guess, it was just due to my poor diet back then. Tu la, suka buat perangai malas makan lagi! Laa ni duk buat balik! Takpa, makan pisang… hahaha…

and see this, what an interesting packaging!!!!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

It's lame. It's LOVE

*This post was written under the influence of meth rush pineapple juice.

Hello world, Kiambang here would like to talk about something so cliché yet so significant to human life.

YES it’s the lame boring subject that makes the world go round. LOVE

Before I proceed, here is a few well-known obvious facts that I still want to mention it anyway
-the greatest love is from/goes to Allah SWT and His religion
-then to Muhammad SAW and all the prophets
-then to mother, mother, mother
-then to father

OK. Here is the bit that I want to talk about…
In discussing love, I must clarify what kind of love I’m talking about… so I’m talking about LOVE between a man and a woman…

… ok, this is so absurd… but I’m writing it… *gelong*

This morning, I read a statement, somewhere (source is purposely unmentioned)

“Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s also a decision”

………………………………………………and I’m so liking it….

I have this habit of analyzing, well, not really analyzing… but just having insight on things that I like/dislike. (I have a tendency to rationalize my feeling very often, if I like something… I’ll ask myself why and vice versa… pelik ka?”)

Anyway, so as I read the statement… a few things popped out of my head, well most of them are so irrelevant to be mentioned (and how I wish some were ideas that could be used for my design…too bad, none.. haish!) but… some, I suppose… worth sharing (maybe)

I guess there’s a lot of truth in that statement that really makes me tick.

Speaking for myself, I don’t believe in love at first sight… so love doesn’t just ‘happen’.. it grows… with time and efforts. That’s why arranged marriage could work. Anyway, I believe prior to LOVE… there is an infatuation or a strong temporary liking that happens for some reasons, maybe physical attraction, comfort, close contact…etc… then, when the feeling is pursued, it gives birth to LOVE…

For instance.

A man was walking down an electronic shop, suddenly, he saw a really nice and affordable video camera. He ‘belek2’ the video camera, then he felt “maybe I should get one” <--this is the point where the infatuation started… the man went back home and kept thinking about the video camera, he looked on the internet about the video camera (why am I using video camera as an example, its two words, maybe it should be a lamp instead) after reading a few articles about the lamp, he liked the lamp even more <-- his infatuation got stronger… then his brain began to speculate the answers for “why he should he buy the lamp”… he looked around and suddenly he felt his current lamp is too ugly, the light is too dim, besides the new lamp would help him to stay up all night long since the battery last longer etc2… so he decided to get the lamp. <-- yeah, he ‘decided’ to pursue his infatuation after a little contemplation. So, the man went back to the shop and bought the lamp. He brought the lamp back home and faced 2 potential consequences, first, the lamp is useful as he had thought, second it’s just a waste of money and effort… this consequence would hence influenced his next action, if it’s the first one, he would be satisfied and happy but if it’s the second one, he might still keep the lamp but live in resentment towards himself and the lamp or maybe he would sell it on ebay with a little loss.

So, the whole thing starts with the infatuation and the followings are based on the decision whether to pursue or not. In that case, the man is considered wise since he went back and contemplated on the idea of buying the lamp. A different man, might just buy the lamp hence post rationalize the decision and he would still have to face the same two potential consequences.

So, LOVE in a way is a lot like that. It begins with a temporary strong liking that only turns into love if the person allows it to happen. If the man went home and avoided himself from thinking about the lamp, the situation might turn out differently. What makes his infatuation grew stronger was because he went back and searched on the net and constantly thought of the lamp. He at the first place allowed himself to further pursue the idea of buying the lamp.

But, the example is slightly different to LOVE since the man had power (money) to get the lamp. But love is reciprocal. It demands mutual respond from the person who is loved. Tak larat dah nak hurai.

Anyhow, since love is something we decide, intellectual does play a big part. That’s why, the adolescents tend to act crazily upon their love. It’s simply because their lack of intellect has lead to a stupid decision. What happens after the decision aka LOVE is just the consequences. Or in short; stupid decision, stupid consequences. Tu yang ada ikut lelaki Lombok semua tu, kalau org tu cerdik… dia tak ikut.. sihir etc tu lain cerita la…

Tudia… panjangnya tulis ...Oklah, nak stop dah ni…

In a conclusion… hahhaa… esei apa ni? I personally think, to love is to make a very big life’s decision. It’s not something uncontrollable… it is within our hand, just like many other life’s decision, what course to study, what to eat blablabla… so we could basically apply similar approach in making this decision, alaaa… yang belajar masa kat skolah tu.. senarai pro n kontra etc…as well as duaa, istikharah etc… and what will happen with the decision we made as in, whether it becomes reality or not is another thing as we all knew that there is He, The Supreme Power above all. So, just be smart in making decision, be smart in LOVE…. So it will not lead to stupid consequences, inshaAllah…

Nak kena saman Golden Circle ni, berapa banyak gula dia letak dalam jus nenas ni… haish… OK!

nah ambik!


Friday, April 2, 2010

"Bravo!" rather than banal...


Last studio session, we had a lecture by Howard Raggatt, one of the ARM directors… his speech was really amusing, at least to me… it wasn’t a formal lecture like many would imagine, we were just basically sitting around a meeting table and listened to him talking through his slides on tv. His talk managed to keep me awake despite of being sleepless the night before... so I think that’s pretty impressive.

So, what the speech was about? Well, he was basically presenting his philosophy about architecture. If you are not in design business, you might not aware that design industry is classified into many schools of thought. That is why, you might see some architects design weird/ugly/iconic buildings and some still go with the standardized/banal/boring buildings.

When I started doing this course, I didn’t have any idea at all about this philosophical side of architecture, in fact I didn’t really know what architecture is about except that ‘architect ‘draws’ building’… but during my first year, I was brainwashed by my mentor and tutor into the adaptation of minimalism and modernism architecture and it happened many times that I was ‘accused’ of being a modernist. (modernism is a style that flourished around 50s (after WW2)… it responds to the industrial boom and internalization of tastes and focuses more on functions rather than aesthetic, many schools had evolved after modernism)

Anyway, back to Howard Raggatt’s speech, I really like the part when he was saying about ”not knowing what architecture is and keep asking “what the hell am I gonna do now?” (quoted from my note- may/may not be his exact words but something along the line)”… so I thought, hey… this is so sensible… because every time I approach design, I never knew what should I do… I need to go into a deep thinking, researching, analyzing etc. etc. before I could actually get into designing… I guess, for an architect who commits to any particular style, he would probably approach the design process by reviewing the set of rules that the school has. Let’s say, he was asked to design a house, if he is a functionalist, the first thing that he probably does is to look into the function of spaces of the house, he goes into massing the programs, rationalizing the spaces etc etc…and when he is given a school/library/office/gallery project, he would do the same, function comes first…or in another words (coined by Sullivan)“form follows function”…

BUT… some projects do need a different approach and the disparity is ambiguous. What I mean is, a house designed for Mr A might need to have function as its priority while for Mr B, aesthetic is more important than the rest, even though both houses are designed at the same period of time by the same architect. Some projects need to look clean and minimal while some demand for superfluous ornamentation. It is hard to determine what to be prioritized in every design. So, if the project has a potential to be meaningful by having extreme ornament, would a minimalist transgress his rules of clean and plain or would he go with his taste and left the project to be meaningless ?. So, a commitment in architecture is really unnecessary while the exploration of how we design is a fundamental thing. In short, architecture is a search/journey rather than a commitment to any particular school.

OK, I think, this is a long debated issue by many architects and some may disagree with me. But for me, I’m detaching myself from any commitment of any particular styles in architecture. Besides, ain’t I too young to be committed? XD

the idea of meaningful architecture sounds tasty! hahaaa... I love meaningful stuffs, though sometimes they are useless or crappy... you know, that sort of sentimental kind of things...

OK, nanti ada orang 'cengey' marah tak buat kerja...