Monday, August 30, 2010


yay! I'm spoiled >.<

These girls really know what I like. now, I feel like putting up a cupboard of miniature display... =)

Friday, August 27, 2010

You'll be missed.

Remember I once blogged about my red-polka-dots umbrella.

Today, I went to the class ignoring my desire to ponteng. I realized that, the more I locked myself in, the more stressful I get. Going to class at least makes me feel more like myself.

So in trying to be so-called more prepared, which I rarely am, I checked the weather forecast before I went out and according to it, it would rain today… so I brought that sweet red umbrella.

After breaking my fast with some friends, I went for maghrib at the uni musolla… it was really cold outside, so before I left the musolla, I stuck my hands in my coat pocket… (oh yeah, I keep buying gloves and mittens but close-to-never wear them)..hence forgetting my umbrella. It’s the 'tongkat' type so you have to carry it with your hand rather than chucking it in your bag.

That’s not the end of the story… I hence went waiting for a tram to go to ICV (a hot spot for taraweh in Melbourne).. and the moment I realized that I left the umbrella, I saw a tram coming… if I were to go fetch the umbrella and wait for another tram, I’ll be late for the prayer… but if I decided to take that tram, I prolly won’t see my umbrella anymore.

I previously blogged how much I like that umbrella, I had it for months if not years… it’s really a strong one.. because here in Melbourne, it’s always very windy and the wind is always so strong such that it’ll ruin your umbrella… but this umbrella had never gone flipping in such strong wind.

Anyway… so I had to quickly decide whether to go and get the umbrella or hop-in the tram. Oh forgot to mention, uni musolla is closed after 8pm, so I can’t pick it up after traweh and I prolly won’t go to uni until next week… and even if I left it at the musolla, I’ll probably won’t see that umbrella anymore.

What did I do? I hopped in the tram.

Maybe if you think from one perspective… between taraweh and umbrella, it should always be taraweh. But think of this… the umbrella is pretty expensive, leaving it like that also means wasting money and I have to buy another umbrella with the money which I could spend on some other beneficial thing. Besides, I could still catch up with the taraweh as the imam recites more that 1 juzu’.

But sometimes, when you got to choose, you really got to choose.

I really like that umbrella. If it’s still there next time I go to the musolla. inshaAllah… I’ll take it back. But if it’s gone… I guess the umbrella is just not meant to be mine forever… I hope whosever pick it up will take good care of that really nice umbrella.

My dear red polka-dots umbrella, you’ll surely be missed.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Let’s get back on the feet… before the feet get too cold and frozen to move on.

1. Everyone makes mistakes… it’s either you can spend the rest of your life regretting or, you can put your best to make it right. Allah loves those who try.

2. Past is past… none could be done to bring them back. Future is uncertain, leave it up to Allah… what matters most is the present… but if you are screwing up your present, you might as well doing it to your future… so, do your best at this very moment and leave tomorrow to Allah… tie the camel, and then tawakkal.

3. It’s no point to keep blaming yourself for a mistake that you’ve done. Ask for forgiveness and repent…. And move on.

4. Do not harbor grudge on anyone… it’ll only make your life miserable. Let go and forgive. A forgiving heart is indeed beautiful.

5. Be patient. “the difference between love and pain is time”… so be patient. The day will come when pain was just a vague memory at the back of your mind. And you will , by Allah wills… laugh again. Patience is a shining glory, remember?

6. Remember that Allah knows best… and He knows way better than your parents…. And He has the best for you in His provision. Put your trust in Allah.

7. Family are people who understand you very well… talk to them… they will understand your decision. Don’t worry too much.

8. Take good care of yourself. If you can’t take good care of yourself, how do you expect others to receive your care?

9. Do your work. Don’t let others have too much control of your life. You are in control of your own life… if anyone tries to mess it up, tell them straight to their face “hey you, STOP”

10. Change is a constant action. If you were to change, you have to be istiqamah… always, always put your best to be a better person.

11. “Don’t be angry, don’t be angry, don’t be angry”… anger is the spark of fire that is always bursting… try with all your might, to put your angst to rest whenever it starts to tickle.

12. If you want to make it right, start it with the right way… then you will find Allah’s guidance. And if Allah wants it for you, He will make it easy for you… He will show you the way to get to it… Trust in Him… always, duaa…

13. In the future… don’t give up so easily on things that you’ve spent so long trying to put together… if you’re are tired of an hour of grievances, think of days or probably months of happiness… is it worthy to give up all those happy moments because of one minor hurt?

14. Be grateful for anything that happens for Allah is teaching you something…open your eyes and see beyond the present condition.

15. Learn to value people and things that you have rather than envying others or wishing for the unknowns… for what you have is more valuable than you know… and it’s too late to realize when its already gone.

:: I just need a little self-motivation... =) smile to a brighter future... ameen ::

....that rain is beautiful and so are you...

::one thing that I always wanted to do, is to read you poetries.... now that I know that the day will not come, I hope you will listen to this =) ::

Monday, August 23, 2010

Aku sebuah R&R

Aku sebuah R&R…sebuah tempat henti rehat persinggahan ramai yang dalam perjalanan ke destinasi tertentu… Ramai yang suka berhenti padaku, terutama mereka yang dalam perjalanan jauh… ada yang berhenti untuk makan dan minum, bersolat ataupun semata untuk ke jamban… antara yang berhenti, ada yang memuji, ada yang mengkeji… yang memuji, suka akan makanan sedap-sedap belaka yang terjual… kalau pun tidak makan… gembira saat meninggalkan ku kerana telah beroleh sebuah kerehatan…

Namun nasib ku si R&R… pelbagai manusia datang mengunjungi, berkereta mewah mahupun berbas sekolah… semuanya… akan pergi… yalah, tiadalah yang mahu berumah di R&R kerana masing-masing punya destinasi ditujui…

Alangkah… alangkah aku mahu menjadi sebuah rumah… tidak perlu menjadi rumah mewah, tetapi yang sederhana dan punya penghuni yang bukan sekadar tiba dan berlalu seusai masa… tetapi menjadikan aku destinasi hari… ke mana pun ia pergi.. bersiar ke kota indah dan mahligai mewah, rumahnya tetap di hati… penghuninya setia… mana rumah dia bertandang, ke rumahnya juga dia mahu pulang….sungguh rumah tidaklah meriah seperti di R&R.. ramai sekali datang saban hari… tetapi, mampu memayungi yang dicintai pada siang dan malam hari…

Oh, alangkah indahnya menjadi sebuah rumah…. Pabila atapnya bocor dan rangkanya goyah… penghuninya sedaya upaya membaiki.. bukan kerana mahu orang datang lagi, tetapi untuk dirinya.. kerana ia tahu, jika aku hampir tumbang, ia akan menjadi hilang… rumah itu begitu diperlukan… begitu dijagai dan dihargai… dihiasi dengan bunga matahari….

Kalaulah aku sebuah rumah, biar apa musim menjengah… akan aku berdiri sasa, selagi tuhan memberi usia… akan aku menua dengan khidmatku yang teramat setia…

Sayangnya… aku hanyalah R&R yang bermimpi di siang dan malam hari saat menyaksi sebuah kereta putih yang dulunya sering kembali, berlalu pergi untuk yang terakhir kali…

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Say hello to silence.

I talk too much. I need to learn how to shut up and listen. 

Syhhhh… keep quite kiambang.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Wish #02: a plastic surgery

I love beauty and I always want to be beautiful… I envy people with beautiful faces and beautiful smiles… but soon I realize, nothing is ever more beautiful than a beautiful heart… 

O’ my dear Lord, I wish upon You to bestow upon me a beautiful heart which will give birth to beautiful actions… and leads me to the most beautiful place… a place where everyone is a beauty… a place next to you, My Oft-Beautiful Lord.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wish #01: present & future

"I wish upon You, O dear Lord... that I will not hasten what You have postponed and postpone what You have hastened"

Friday, August 13, 2010


When I wish for things I never wished...

p/s: Thank you Mas.... You do know what I like very well....... yay! bertambah koleksi miniature... ngehngeh...

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


(tajuk macam dah mati)

First of all, I would like to wish Ramadhan Al-mubarak to all my brothers and sisters… kat sini puasa esok… may this ramadhan be the best ramadhan ever!

When I was young, growing up seems so exciting… looking up at university students… They seem so respectable…and I imagined being 20s is so cool, you can be pretty… you have freedom to fly to where bout that you want, you will know so many things… matured but young… haha… but now I’m in my 20s… I’m neither cool nor pretty… and I know so little about life… I still behave like a little girl… crying over nonsense… throwing tantrum every now and then… maturity is a big question… and of course, knowing that what makes a respectable person is not just his/her tertiary education… the thought just dwindled away.

But indeed, I’m very grateful with my life. Alhamdulillah… at least, I’m doing something positive and beneficial… I’m not patrolling the street late at night and hoping into strangers car for some money… I’m not spending my time staring at the sky and wondering what do I want to be tomorrow… at least, though it’s uncertain… I know where I’m heading to in this long and winding road… I might have achieved nothing but at least, I’m doing something…

We get older every day or better, I should say.. we get closer to death every second… however change in number is a great reminder… and whenever the number increases… it increases with worries… and that’s a plain reality… if you have no worries, you might as well living in a dream… there is always something to worry about… and to me, worrying helps me to regain my consciousness when I’m dreaming too much… haha…

OK… thanks for all the beautiful wishes… when my kaklong called and asked, ‘how’s your birthday?’… I didn’t really know what to say… should I say to her ‘well you see, I didn’t get to sleep all night long… I had studio in the morning… I had lunch at 3, the first meal of the day… and…I crrr..I… ‘ haha.. ok…that’s it… doesn’t sound so bad ey? But all in all it was still a beautiful day…

And dear Kak sarah, thanks for the post… tak pernah ada org buat post tajuk nama I… you slalu buat post untuk I, mesti I sangat bermakna dalam hidup you kan?

I feel like giving myself a treat, should I get myself a Polaroid?… haha… but I also think I should buy another ankle boots (hampeh engkau pakcik, tegur kasut org buruk dalam kelas, org ada kasut elok okay, tapi malas nak ganyah p kelas)… hahaa… but I need a new purse the most… awat laa banyak sangat kad… takleh nak tutup purse. .. yang kat fossil tu lawa! Hakhakhak… fikir dlu… hari minggulah baru shoping….

OK… again, selamat berpuasa semua!

Saturday, August 7, 2010


Orang ketegaq ni susah terpengaruh dengan cakap org... hampa kata pi lagu mana kat dia, kalau di rasa dia nak buat mcm tu.. macam tu la jugak...jd kalau dia dah buat keputusan tu, susah sikit la nak ubah pendirian dia...

tp bila mai benda bentuk nasihat... org pesan sampai bebuih mulut pun dia bukan nak dengaq... kdg benda tu mmg sah sah tak brapa kena, diaaaaa nak buat cara dia jugak...

pastu hingaq kat diri sendiri, padan muka.

sekian, sesi kata kat diri sendiri

Friday, August 6, 2010


My friend suggested that I should change my blog name… well, I should have said, she dared me to change it… haha…

It’s something I’ve been wanting to do, but I had no idea what it should be…


Hrmmm… ANAK DEKA meant to be different. When I started blogging not so long ago.. I didn’t want this blog to be very personal like it is now.

Since the tiger is not roaring anymore, it shouldn’t be called a tiger.

And its chirping every now and then… it could be a bird!

Ish, apa aku merepek ni!

Anyway, thanks for the suggestion. There is a meaning to the name, which not everyone could comprehend… yay!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I'm busy =)

People say, you shouldn’t change yourself because of someone else.

But what if, the change makes you a better person… don’t we all want to be a better person? I don’t really live on the notion ‘be yourself’ which always leads to some sayings like "well, this is me..." "this is who I am.." what if the 'me' is not a good thing? would you still consider a bad character as a part of you?… how do you know which part of you is really you? And what makes you think that way?

I believe that, throughout life, no one stays the same… at least there will be some physical changes… and physical changes do affect one’s lifestyle… it is something you cannot prevent…

However we can control how it happens… right?

Plus, we don’t change ourselves out of the sudden… well, yeah, it could come from within… but, it is a rule of thumb that we human need some motivation to instigate an action.

A person, or an event could be the reason to change… but the purpose of any sort of changes should always be for our own good, and on top of all… to please Allah SWT.

I don’t wish to write long, just feel like sharing this well-known video… because, if we were to be a better person, we should copy the best of the examples.

p/s :May Ramadhan be a good booster for any act of kindness.

::s/p/s : I’m trying to change myself because of you… but not for you… I just simply want to be a better person, inshaAllah =) …::

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The V

I have an imaginary vase, where I used to put the flower of solace. Oh, how it used to console me during my time of despair. Anyway, recently, the vase was broken.

How it happened was a mystery. But I remember the night before I discovered the pieces. I sleep-walked and in my dream I was catching flying petals. It was a very strange dream indeed.

So since the very vase was broken, I thought of purchasing a new one… sadly it is one of its kind.. I could search the world but I know that there is no other vase like that… what makes it even worst is, I couldn’t glue the pieces together… trust me, no glue would ever work on this vase.

So I got two options now, either to mould it and make a new one out of it… this is very difficult indeed and the molded version may or may not be the same… or I shouldn’t be bothered about it…just purchase a different one instead…

After all, it’s just an imaginary vase. And it’s the flower that matters.



:: I plan to do an exchange.... a heart exchange, anyone?::