Monday, December 26, 2011


Dear Mr Hope and Mrs Happiness. Gimme some space to prepare for your arrival. :)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Tomorrow is my graduation day. There'll be a parade along Swanston Street in the morning and the ceremony will be held at Etihad Stadium in the evening.

I wish my family were here...

Is it bad to be a little envious of having seen friends with their family touring Melbourne and gearing up for the graduation? I guess it is, for it seems very ungrateful of me. Being able to graduate, even having the opportunity to study here, in Melbourne was a blessing.

So for tomorrow, I'll have Malaysia Hall assistant warden and his family and a friend to attend the event. well... four tickets, I was given. I'm glad still that there're people who want to go. ahaha.

But yeah.. it is not the same. I want my family here. it is impossible I know.

The whole world might give you all the attention you deserve, but when the person you care the most ignores you, nothing seems to worth celebrating.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


(warning: this is one of those boring emotional lament I often write when I get, well emotional) 

Light projection on State Library's facade. 

Weather I like it or not, the day will still arrive. I have 5 days, of my 5 years stay here. I know I've been ranting about it for the past few posts... but hey, detachment is god knows difficult.

I remember my first tram ride here. It was a tram ride to the city, for in my first year, I lived somewhere in the outskirt of the Melbourne CBD. I was 19, well turning 20 on that year to be exact. That day, I couldn't imagine spending my year after year here, I know that I would, but it was hard to comprehend the idea of being in a foreign land on my own... it was an excitement infused with fear and curiosity...I, was a little kampong girl who for the first time had set her feet in a place somewhere over 4000 miles away from home.. I couldn't imagine all the things that had happened in the last five years, but still... as my memory can recall.. they did take place in my life.

I am of course, happy to go home. Blood is thicker than water, although in these days, oil seems to be thicker than anything.. Blood, is indeed thicker than the aromatic morning cappuccino dusted with the heaviest chocolate powder over a layer of fluffy creamy foam. I miss my family... for I would inshaAllah, give all that I could for them... that includes, a desire for prideful personal achievement or even money. So, I am of course going home and excited about it. The thought of spending my days sembang with mak ayah, weekends shopping with my dearest Kak sarah, lepak2 at my siblings house... Those are sweet... sweeter than the sweetest nectarine from the grandest season. I love my family. enough said.

Yet, five years is an oodles amount of memories...and memories are memories, either bad or good, they often last. well, the bad ones often seem to leave permanent effect.. but the good ones would always be forever cherished. 5 years is ofc long enough to have given me an equal amount of both... but hey... every occurrence that came prior to the memory had made me who I am today, I think I have grown out quite well out of them. ahahah.

I guess the actual detachment is when you are left with no other option but to stay detached... and you can never be fully detached of something that has came to past until it has been replaced by something better, or more remarkable... I hope, in Malaysia, I'll have something better than cold weather, good transportation, freedom and higher purchasing power... ahaha... (sounds almost impossible)...

But still... love can soar above everything...     ;)

Bonda, ayahanda... tunggu anakanda pulang~~~

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


"Say: "O 'Ibadi ( My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins) Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
(Holy Quran; 39:53)

Friday, December 2, 2011

A Waitress Does That!

I failed my first plan. ahaha! My previous post says today should be my last day working as a waitress/ kitchen hand. But, I didn't even get to tell the makcik that I want to quit. so, I'll be working tomorrow. Anyway, now that she makes me work only from 11am - 3pm, I guess it isn't so bad. but hey, I have only two weekends left. I should really tell her that I'm quitting.

Now, who says it's easy to be the one's leaving? ;p

*neighbor's amp is too loud, should I bang the wall?*

hhehe.. sorry for the intermission.

Dear readers,
How many of you have ever worked in a restaurant? or maybe currently working in one?

When I first told my friends that I'll be working as a kitchen hand, they were like
"what are you gonna wear?"
"you don't seem befitting for the job?"

funny aye... I however understand their remarks. I have to say that my wardrobes is rather fancy. Not that stylish though. But I love skirts, lacey, chiffon, satin and colorful clothing, which seem a bit too much and inappropriate to be worn while potong ayam sayur mayur, wiping kitchen top and tables, carrying dishes etc etc... but hey, I do have normal shirts as well... afterall, I'm just budak comot as some may call.

I think working in a restaurant, albeit for just approx 3 months taught me a lot. Here I'm sharing what I've got for being a kitchen helper and waitress.

1.  I acquire some quite useful kitchen skills, that includes how to sharpen a knife properly, peel off chicken skin and slice carrot quickly. Since I haven't really been cooking since I live in Malaysia Hall (we are not allowed to cook), my cooking skills has really gone rusty. Thus, it is good that I'm working at the kitchen. I sometimes 'jeling2' the recipes while the chef is cooking. The recipes yeah, not the chef.

2. I learn about the ethnic differences. It is normal that we see men eat more than women. But ethnic background influences that too. Somalians and some of the Arabs really eat a lot. I mean like A LOT!!! like, nasi tu berbukit-bukit. Kadang tu dtg kedai skinny mcm bilis, nasiknya minta bergunung. oh, yeah, it's a Malay-Singaporean Restaurant, so they serve Malay food.

3. I learn how to be nice to people, even when I'm tired, busy and moody. That fake smile and happy "hello, how are you today sir?" are pretentious... but somehow, it can cheer you up just as well. even temporarily. I find that it makes me happy when someone returns a smile and greets me back etc. That adrenaline rush when there are lines of people waiting to be served, in the nervousness of being a newbie, I'm continuously repeating how are you, how can help you and forcefully plastering a smile on my face... It makes me feel good.

4. I learn to say sorry more sincerely. Everyone makes mistakes, especially when you are new at something. I'm a lousy cashier, always make mistakes at keying in and remembering codes for the menus.But everytime I made a mistake, I said sorry... to the customers... and surprisingly, the locals, I mean orang puteh are more forgiving than many other races. oh, more on ethnic background.

5. Malaysians are not the most berbudi bahasa. This is quite related to the above point, and point no. 2 as well. I'm most happy at serving orang puteh. First, they say thank you. At the age of 24, I learned that being appreciated is one of the best feelings in life. And saying thank you does a lot of that. Bagi sudu ckp thank you, tunjuk air kat mana ckp thank you, ambik duit dari tangan dia pun cakap thank you. Dahla tu, senyum selalu. and as I said, they are forgiving too. Rarely they frowned if I did something wrong or made them wait. They'd accept my apology and say.."that's allright"... Ada jugak org kita berbudi bahasa... but meh! not that many though.

6. I learn about business here and there. Not so much though, but kinda gives a good insight of what it's like to run a kedai makan. since it's a small restaurant, the tauke turun padang, the kitchen isn't so big and I can pretty much here every business discussion they had... I think I've got something... ahaha.. what are they? hmmm... rahsia la...

7. Money doesn't come easy. My salary is hourly based. I'm beginning to compare every expense with the number of my working hour. ahhaha.. damn you capitalism! :D

Okay, I think that's all for now.. but hey... any of you can add to the list? Selingan, makcik tu masak taufu sedap laaaa. I think I'll miss her sweetspicy taufu.

should I become a full time housewife...
 I'll get myself a stylish apron. ahaha

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Lifebuoy

Hi, I'm updating again....

It feels like I've been literally living in the present these days, I live my life, as commonly say, going with the flow. Although, I don't live to the common understanding of the phrase, I once said to a friend, that we are the 'flow' of our life. As in, what happens about our life is predetermined by the things we did prior to a circumstance. Therefore, there's really no 'going with the flow' in which we often refer to a situation which we do not make decisions but rather succumbing to fate and go along with it. Deciding not to decide is after all a decision, a predetermination of 'the flow'.. urgh! am I making any sense? Anyway, all that I was about to say is I need to start making plans. 

Upon listening to a friend laying out his plan A, B, C, D, E.......Z, I feel like I need to start planning out my life rather than loitering around, solely waiting... waiting... waiting... for.. I don't know. a miracle?

To be honest, I don't feel like looking for a job yet. ahaha. But hey, what am I going to do with my time if I don't look for work. As I often say to myself, financially speaking, life is either making money, or spending it. I think every breath has a cost and benefit, since nothing comes free. The air is free, but the electricity, the water that you drink as you get exhausted breathing, eh!. ahaha. well. I'm being merapu. but you get what I'm saying. oh, btw, have you watched In Time? I think that movie is fantabulous!

So, other than working as a waiter/kitchen hand at a restaurant here, which I plan to quit after tomorrow, I need to start thinking seriously about my future. The time has come, to be a person, a useful one.

So I am laying out my plans here instead of scribbling in my organizer which will soon meet its end and being replaced, just to remind myself that I do have a plan(s) or more like aims. or is it  more like a things-to-do list. ahahah... anyway, here is all the above or whatever you wish to call it.

1) Quit working as a waitress
2) Email JPA for Elaun Tamat Pengajian (money! yeay!)
3) Finish up CV and Portfolio
4) Graduation
5) Job Search
6) Holiday plans, where to go and whatnot
7) Souvenir Shopping (see if its necessary)
8) Pack Up for shipping, second round! ahhaha
9) Balik Malaysia! (woohooo!)
10) Holiday in UK! (loooooooking forward!!!!)

11) Must start looking for jobs seriously!
12) Lapor diri di JPA
13) Find a job around Penang.
14) Tak dapat, then go to KL or maybe Singapore. eh!

Once dapat kerja and onwards......
Bekerja dengan bersungguh-sungguh menjadi manusia berguna... selama setahun... kumpul duit.... nak pergi...

15) Jeng jeng jeng.... SANTORINI!!! ahaha... okay, that's not the ultimate aim of couse.

16) I'm hoping, after 3-4 years, I can get an Ar. inshaAllah....
Ar Nur Asriah. aiceh... only then, I can really call myself an architect. :)

17) Ada rezki, cukup capital, ada partner atau investor... I'll be starting my on firm in 5-7 years inshaAllah.

Ada plan hidup yang tertinggal ka? Apa? Apa? Apa? eheheehe... oh, yang itu....
That one is difficult... who doesn't want it, but it's something I cannot plan alone, especially when you don't see anyone to 'ajak' plan along. ahhahaa. I think eventually, I'll go traditional. Mak said, I have a year. huh? so that makes the plan #279 ahahaa... apabenda mengarut ni.......

In general, the future seems uncertain but quite promising, the past was full of colors and the ugly ones are getting bleaker. The present is wonderful. I sometimes feel like, I have everything that I need for now... and a boyfriend is not needed, for those who had asked. ;)

After all, Allah SWT is the Masterplanner. My dear readers, spare me some duaas for my success and happiness. 

InshaAllah, inshaAllah...inshaAllah... he'll give us what's best for us. 

Love, we only have two weeks.

My memories are fragmented. 2 weeks left. This heart is as heavy as a mountain. I'm going to miss not just the place, but all the great friends I met. Who's to say that we will meet again? Not every opportunity comes twice. Hoping for a missing chance to revisit is the beginning of a regret.

Malaysia Hall Melbourne.
I will write more about this place. A place I never thought I would spend approx. 24 months of my life. Here, I met not just friends, but family. I'll remember this place... but most of all, I remember every happenstance.

As the saying goes;
"we do not remember days, we remember moments."

Mc-ing on MHRC Night (Malaysia Hall Biaanual Dinner)
Aishaah, an 8 yr old girl I have grown fond of in the last few months.
It is always so easy to love a kid..