Thursday, September 30, 2010

Wakeyyyy! September has ended!!

A friend tweeted “esok dah Oktober!”

It occurred to me how quickly time passes. Life seems to flow monotonously, but along the way, as I took a glimpse of a few recent weeks, many things had actually took place and some of them, leaved without a trace for me to understand what it was, let alone response… but at the back of my mind… I knew it happened, and I remember.

It was one of the sweetest months. I went home, had a good winter escape in my hometown… and I met you. However, I stumbled upon a door sill and realized, the door was left ajar because the lock wasn't working! (haha... mesti orang tak faham) … huhu.. The semester commenced... it was a good start. I got my first choice studio. However, at the end of the month.. things started to get a little hay wired.

I would say, patience was the hallmark of August. The semester got tougher. Works were continuously piling up… things got off my hands. I romped about my life, breaking all the good things I had… I had my birthday… what a ‘rainy’ birthday it was… haha… but so happy when some friends did remember and cared to wish… all the things got so critical… I couldn’t quite comprehend most of the things that were happening at that time… there was an outrage of emotional flux…haha… and there was Ramadhan… I’m glad it was Ramadhan… less, I might not have as much patience as I did. Thank you Allah.

I know there was Hari Raya.. went to a few open houses. Other than that. Work. Work. Work…. And suddenly its ending. What? !


I wish for the best in October. All my final presentations will be in this month. I need to catch up and patch up some of the broken things ... put some of them back together and ditch the crappy and nasty bits of it…

You know when you try to put broken things back together, it won’t look exactly like it was, take a broken ceramic for instant… you’ll see the glue lines… the cracks… the uneven surfaces…

But, you can make it better… maybe like this...

see, they become pavers!

 or if you love art, this is very pretty

oh! this is pretty too

Or… if it’s too broken to ever be fixed… what’s the point of keeping it, right? In another word, sweep away the mess, sweetheart!!!

Life is indeed full of surprises... you'll never know what's coming in your way... =)

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Hidden Beauty!

I’ve been wanting to write about this for so long. Now that my brain is figuring out some stuffs about design, I’ll write about it… as I said in previous post, I’m a multitasker…hihii

Before I proceed, I better clarify that, I’m not writing a fiqh article.. I’m just sharing my thoughts with all the hijabees out there, something based on my observations…

Hijabess aren’t really strangers here in Melbourne, you’ll see women with headscarves everywhere. Nevertheless, from my personal experiences, people still question about this piece of fabric wrapping our head… some of the lame questions are like, why do you wear it? Can you ever take it off? Do you wear it at home? Can you wear different colors? How do you get your hair cut?

Well, I’m not answering all of those question here… but I’m going to write about something else.. here is the story.

I know that scholars differ in the ruling of not wearing hijjab with the non-muslim women… you can ask about it yourself and I’m not competent enough to explain it here… but I did ask one of our scholars and he said, it’s okay to uncover your hair as long as it won’t bring fitnah.. back to the story that I wanted to share, one day, I was having a chat about hair care with my non muslim friend… and she told me how she used to befriend with a muslim girl who happens to wear hijjab.. and one day, the girl took off her hijjab and her hair was so stink!

I’ll stop there.

My dear sisters… this reminder goes to all of you and myself… just because we cover up our hair, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have to take good care of it.

Cleanliness is a part of faith.

Sometimes, I just don’t understand how can any girl be so ignorant about her hygiene. Well, you could say that I better take good care of myself rather than judging people… but you see, my point here.. I’m not judging anyone… I’m just reminding myself and you, that our hygienic negligence will give out bad perception regarding the act of wearing hijjab….regarding every sister who wears hijjab … it’s like, underneath those scarves.. their hair are ugly and stinky.

Shampooing is fun!

I love washing my hair everyday and it makes me feel good. Some people prefer not to wash their hair everyday and they have reason for doing that… but, hey… as long as your hair doesn’t smell bad… it’s okay… but you know sisters, sometimes the smell passes through your hijjab, it blends with the fabric… and as wind breezes the fabric… the smell travels to noses around you. Don’t think that because it’s all covered up underneath a piece of cloth, people can’t smell it… your wearing a fabric, not a vacuum plastic wrap! But I do advice you, to wash your hair frequently… especially if you’re living in a hot country, and you have oily and sweaty scalp.

Dry you hair!

I know some people don’t like hair drier very much… people say it’ll damage your hair a lot quicker than the sun. well, I did not like it much too… but since I started using it, I don’t really feel it’s damaging my hair, instead… it makes my hear firmer and smoother. The key thing here, you got to use hair conditioner after each shampooing. Or instead, you can use electric fan…or just let it dry naturally… but don’t put the scarf on while your hair is still wet, worst, dripping! Especially if you intended to wear it for all day long… you know what I’m saying…

Love your hair.

Hair is like any other part of your body… some people were gifted with beautiful hair than others… but again, beauty is subjective. No matter how much you like or dislike your hair… it’s still a part of you regardlessly… some girls say… ‘it’s good to wear tudung, so I don’t have to bother much about my hair’… well, partly its true.. you don’t bother to style it before going out… no one knows how it looks like… and you don’t have to worry about sun damage… but that doesn’t mean you can just abandon your hair care… plus, it is a good thing to make yourself presentable even just among the sisters and family members… and if you are married, your earn rewards for beautifying yourself for your husband, that includes styling your hair… =)

Ok, I have a lot more to say… but I guess my point here is clear enough… I write this, to remind myself and my sisters… let’s take good care of our hair!

Merepek lagiii...

As soon as you started talking to people about your situation or anything that’s burdening you. You’ll realize you’re not alone. God created each of us unique but at the same times have so much in common so that we could learn from one another.

I’m not a big fan of generalization for I never see two situations as equal. There is no one size for everything. But I do believe as much as we think others don’t understand us, they do have things in their mind that could relate to what is in ours… and as much as I don’t fancy generalization, I use it all the times just because it makes sense to many people rather than just myself.

It won’t be me not having so much thoughts mounting in head. I always try to focus on doing one thing at a time, but it’s just as hard as trying to quit being a nocturnal…what I’m saying, it’s not impossible.. It’s just so freaking hard. If my head is not a mess, it prolly got nothing in. I’m a multitasker… instead of keeping on complaining why can’t I focus blablabla… I’ll just take that as a gift. =)

Here I go again, pouring out my nonsense… as usual, just need to clear up my head a little bit.

Anyway, I wanted to say, how sometimes we need to learn to take thing slow. Some people ask, ‘what’s the difference now that you’re doing master?’.. well, since in architecture, at least in RMIT, our master degree is not research based like most other post grade courses, it’s project based…. The course is still pretty much similar to the degree. We got classes, studios and lectures… we do presentations every week for almost every subject and we have submissions every now and then depending on the subject.

The workload is still pretty much the same… it’s just that… for me, it’s just getting more and more difficult… and it’s normal right? I believe other courses are like that too. Even if you compare it to our lives...the more you understand the more complicate… it’s just, well… life.

But after all, there’s something that I learned from my master course… and from a few things that occurred about my life recently… sometimes, we do need to take things slow.

Hei! Tak lari gunung dikejar!

Ok, I’m not making any sense. Should just stop.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Whiney baby emo kid.

What a life would’ve been without twitter or facebook or even this blog.

Writing has been my salvation since I know how to write. Seriously, I don’t really remember how it all started but all that I knew, I kept diaries since I was in primary school. I composed poetries when I was ten and enjoy reading since kindergarten.

I don’t really write for people to read. I write for my own personal reasons, I write to divert my negative energy into something less destructive. Written words can’t be harmful if they were left unread. .. that’s why diaries have always been my best friends.

Technology somehow has changed that. I don’t want to talk about how people these days have split personalities between their real and virtual life. Most thoughts are read, at least by a few… and with the mushrooming social platforms, people talk more, in fact more than in their actual life… and I talk more than I used to do, sometimes to an extent of disclosing unnecessary personal stuffs. <-like saying this.

I admire those who have so much self control in their virtual life - knowing what’s to share what’s not. These people know how to be friendly but deliberately maintaining their privacy and no, they don’t go around spamming and swindling anonymously.

I'm spending too much time with computers. I can’t avoid that since my works mostly involve computer except for occasional site visits. Having said that, I still need to control my virtual life.

Such as… stop tweeting.

I tweeted too much… and many things I rumbled about shouldn’t really be publically mentioned …and sometimes, those who response to those tweets in their own accords, couldn’t care less about the real situations.

I’ll stop tweeting for awhile…inshaAllah, let’s see how long I could go without tweeting. Hahaa…

I’ll talk more to my diary… and if I really need to say something out loud, I better talk to people directly rather than throwing my words in the air so carelessly.

Anyone would like to be my real life twitter?

Hah! you! I saw you raised up your hand. =)

p/s: I will still visit twitter frequently... stalking some of the Twits *wink*

Monday, September 20, 2010


Aku mahu... teramat mahu pergi jauh... tempat yang teramat jauh, kalau nak sampai itu jenuh. Kalau dicari lelah bersepuh... jauhhhhhh sekali... tak tercapai naluri... padan muka, siapa pun tak dapat cari... separuh mimpi separuh realiti...


Kerja belambak, duit takdak.
Di sinilah duduk tercanggak.


"Hei kamu, bawa aku pergi dari sini... kerna dalam hati ini, ada secangkir benci yang aku musuhi.... jua ada setelaga cinta yang aku hampir lupa"

OK... tak payah mengerti.... hanya momok perempuan gila di malam hari.

....dan aku pun ketawa berdekah-dekah pada diri. ya, padan muka sendiri.

I Procrastinated!

Got stuck between works and did this random psychology test... look at the result!

You Are An INFP
(introversion, intuition, feeling, perception) is an abbreviation used in the publications of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to refer to one of sixteen personality types.[1] The MBTI was developed from the work of prominent psychiatrist Carl G. Jung in his book Psychological Types. Jung proposed a psychological typology based on the theories of cognitive functions that he developed through his clinical observations.) - copied fr wikipedia

The Idealist - O.o

You are a creative person with a great imagination. *wink* You enjoy living in your own inner world. (huh! are saying I'm a 4D person?)

Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. *chiuuwwww!!***

It takes a long time for people to get to know you. (oh welll...*caugh*) You are hesitant to let people get close to you. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. =)

In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic (huh?)) standards. (errr... no comment)

You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense(?!!!) feelings.

At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. *cough* (surprisingly, they were all my ambitions)

How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual =)

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak (ooooooooo!!!!!!...patutla..hmph!)

and of course, this is not necessarily accurate.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sometimes (bukan lagu Britney)

Sometimes, you don’t really want to hear things like ‘you’ll be alright’… because it’s all that you’ve been telling yourself all along… the word ‘alright’ seems to appear so pretentious and sarcastic… and you don't know how long it’ll take to get there.

Sometimes, you do need someone to remind you that you are better than what you think of yourself and trust in you more than you trust in yourself.

Sometimes, a slap on the face is way better than a comforting hug… you need someone who always brave enough to snap you of your broken dreams … wake you up to move on and fix things… or at least, dream another dream.

Sometimes, being overly optimistic would only give you false hope… you need to step back, admit the impediment… measure your strength properly prior to taking any action.

Sometimes, you do need someone to catch you when you fall… but if you think of yourself as a bouncy ball rather than a fragile glass… you would prefer a hard surface rather than a soft one.

Sometimes, instead of keep on feeling and thinking about your problems… you need to start thanking for all the blessings.

Sometimes, you need to put your pride aside and listen to your heart carefully… as pride and heart always disagree in various matters… but whenever a heart is broken, the pride will be hurt too.

Sometimes, all that you want is an ice cream!

  Oya, jom pergi Cold Rock!

Best kot kalau dapat makan Cold Rock waktu macam sekarang.... yummmmm.

Monday, September 13, 2010


I have so much random thoughts in my head… well, I’m desperately in need of something useful for my design.. but all of this randomness is hindering my brain from working properly… adoila…

*I promptly named a friend Mahmud for no reason today*

The coming mid semester crit chills me to the bone. I’m doing such a studio which I kinda like very much despite the crazy hectic workloads… really wanna give all my best… besides… my ex will be coming as one of the guest crits… opps! I mean, my ex-tutor… muahaha.. *haish, merepek sgt aih ckp!!!*

Have a snippet of my preliminary design proposal:

my tutor said it's 'beautifully ugly' *hmmph!* or in master chef term ' yuckyyumm'

Haish… I feel like a hopeless lazy bum… blame it on the raya mode! Oh! Ask me not about my raya… it was good all in all, alhamdulillah… but how could I ever be celebrating much when all these worries are having its own celebration in my head…. Syyyhhh.. do you hear it? Chiiiuwwww chiuuwwww chiuuwww… braprbappapappp…booommm… it’s fireworks! see! told ya… a bunch of worries are having a little party in my head. *I’m really getting old before time.*

I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK!!! Oh dear… my head is a mess… did I have too much kuah kacang just now? My brother once said to me… well, he asked me something (I can’t remember exactly what it was)… I delayed a little before responding to his question and he was like “kepala adik tu semak, you need to sort out your mind like a library… the coding system blablabla” his common metaphorical lecture which rarely makes any sense to me… sorry brother… I could tell how properly sorted your mind is… but the fact that our names are similar doesn’t make me as good as you… owh, but you are pretty random too. *why am I talking about my brother?*

…and my laptop is experiencing the blue screen of death lately… how it breaks my heart seeing my charming Mr Asus like this… I kinda get a little freaked out as my previous Toshiba horribly ruined and dysfunctional after frequent attack of the blue screen. Uwaaaa… and this evening my desktop switched on by itself… *gasp*

Technology awes me sometimes… especially seeing how everyone looks so fabulously smooth skinned bright eyed in the photos… thank you much to the invention of dslr… owh, please don’t mention purikura… hikhik… it does make me feel pretty once in a while.. I guess, it could be good for improving one’s self esteem. Muahaha…

Opppss! Ada org tepon.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Untuk semua yang dirindu dan seluruh umat Islam
taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Would you marry yourself?

A friend of mine wrote a very interesting status on Facebook "reflective reflection: would you marry yourself?" which lead me to this beautiful piece of writing on an Islamic Forum.

Assalamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahee wa Barakatu

One of the first things that most people think about when preparing for or thinking about marriage, are the characteristics or qualities of the person they would like to marry. Some people think about how they want their potential husband or wife to look - perhaps they think about such things as hair and skin color. Some men may look for a wife who is an excellent cook, and some women may look for a husband who is very religious. Many Muslims nowadays look for a wife or husband that is conversant in the Arabic language, or someone that is at least a student of Arabic.

Nonetheless, most people, Muslims included, seem to go to great lengths to make elaborate lists, either on paper or in their minds, about all the things they want or expect from their potential husband or wife. And while this is good and perhaps a very necessary part of the marriage search, few people ever sit down, and with the same purposefulness and care, enumerate their own qualities and characteristics or think about whether they, themselves, are the kind of people that someone else with just as high expectations or ideals would want to marry.

Think outside of yourself for a moment: If you were someone else, would you marry you? I don’t mean you, as you would like to see yourself weeks, months or even years from now. Nor do I mean you as you imagine yourself after you have had a chance to change a few of your bad habits, improve your character, fix yourself up, or you after you begin to practice your religion more seriously. I mean you, as you are TODAY.

I believe that if some people were to be completely honest with themselves, they would have to admit that they, themselves, do not possess the kind of qualities or characteristics they would want in a husband or wife.

Perhaps we all know of someone like this – possibly a relative, a best friend or maybe this person is YOU. For two people who are experienced at it, marriage, at best, can be difficult. It requires patience, diplomacy, perseverance, flexibility, wisdom, and endurance, just to name a few things.

Does this mean that if someone does not possess ALL of these qualities they should not get married? No, I don’t mean to say this. However, there are people that I have come across that are in a desperate race to get married; while at the same time they possess characteristics of selfishness, stubbornness, inflexibility, insensitivity, and ingratitude. They are overly critical of other people while at the same time they have difficulty accepting criticism of themselves. And they have poor communication skills. On top of all of that, they may be in denial and won’t face up to the fact that they have a *few* personality defects to iron out before getting married. Do any of these characteristics describe you or someone you know that is looking for a wife or a husband? Has anyone ever told YOU that you possess any of these characteristics?

Marriage is so serious an affair that I would dare say that if someone looking to get married possesses some or all of these qualities, they may be headed for big trouble. Or, should I say anyone that marries a person like this might be in very, very big trouble? The question then becomes: Does a person who possesses these kinds of shortcomings have to wait years before getting married? I would say the answer is no. Someone like this doesn’t have to wait years to get married.

Allah, The Sublime, says in the Quran that He will never change the condition of a people until they first change what is inside of them. This ayah offers hope - hope of a new tomorrow. Isn’t that what most people want? They want to know that whatever difficulties they are facing today, a change is on the horizon for tomorrow. However, it does not only offer hope. It offers hope on a condition. That condition is that we have to take the first step to recognize that we have a problem and then do something about it. Can a man who is a drunk ever become sober unless he recognizes that he has a problem? And can a man that is insensitive, inflexible, stubborn, ungrateful, rigid, and selfish ever be a good husband?

Someone who is in denial about their faults will never be able to change their negative pattern of behavior until they first recognize and ADMIT that they have a problem. Once you can admit that you have a problem, the next step is to begin working diligently and consistently on your problem or negative characteristics.

The key words here are working diligently AND consistently. As any doctor will tell you, a patient has to be diligent and consistent about taking their medicine in order to see good results. Couple this prescription that Allah gives us in the Quran with prayer and strong faith, InshaAllah, you can overcome any problem.

If after taking a good long, honest look at yourself in the mirror you cannot honestly say that you would make a good husband or wife in your present condition, then before you pick up the pen to enumerate a list of all the fine qualities you are looking for in a wife or husband, instead, why not list some of the qualities that you need to work on, and then embark on a program to change these bad qualities so that someday soon when Allah does bless you with a good wife or husband you will be worthy of such a person?

After all, isn’t the divorce rate high enough already?

If he comes knocking at my door...

I’m having a light headache probably from the rain this afternoon… took some panadol and tried to put myself to sleep but for some reasons, my eyes refuse to shut… I want to do work but my brain isn’t functioning very well and I’m rather a little cranky…

The light is off, and as I was drifting in my thoughts I remember a beautiful real event/story which was told to me a few days ago.

..and I feel like sharing it with everyone…

There is a man who is a caretaker of a masjeed here in Victoria. One day, while he was sitting alone in the masjeed, two good looking bearded men visited the masjeed.

As this two men arrived, they performed an ablution hence entered the masjeed. Upon entering the mosque, one of them said to the caretaker whose name is Mansoor.

“Salam O’ my brother Mansoor, are you ready?”

Mansoor was smitten by the question… but after a little pause he positively answered;

“inshaAllah, I’m ready”

He hence got up from his sitting and walked towards the two men.

One of them then asked again.

“Is it ready yet?”

Mansoor answered again, “inshaAllah… I’m ready”

The man said to Mansoor.

“My name is Jibrail and I’m here to take it from you”

Mansoor replied “of course I know who you are”

Jibrail then said, “I’m going to take the cd”

Mansoor answered “Yes, you can have all my cds brother"

Jibrail was seemed a little confused by the answer so he clarified his intention to Mansoor.

“No, it’s the cd that you supposed to do the copying for tonight’s event”

Mansoor hence grasped the situation and it wasn’t what he promptly thought.. and of course, the angel of death is called Izrail not Jibrail. =)

The story was told by brother Mansoor himself (may not be his real name) but I altered and simplified the story here and there… it’s way more dramatic and funny if your hear it directly from him… plus, I’m rather a lousy story teller… my deepest apology for that.

However, this story is a very charming reminder indeed and it’s not plainly a miscommunication between Mansoor and Jibrail… May Allah bless brother Mansoor for his constant remembrance of death. To my mind, it’s sort of a call to reflect upon myself.

If the angle of death comes knocking on my door right now and asks me, are you ready… would I be able to say, Yes I am ready, inshaAllah?

Nothing is more certain than death… but why do I feel so unprepared?

‘O Lord, indeed You are The Oft Pardoning, You love pardon so pardon me’

So to speak, death is the best reminder!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Sisi Cerah

I like people who can always see the bright side of any situation... cause it's something I'm not so good at.


Kualiti vs Kroni

Kehadapan sesiapa saja yg mengerti.

Saya dengan ini cuba menulis warkah ini sesopan yang mungkin

Di sebuah hutan tropika, ada suatu komuniti penguin dari antartika… ya, mereka penguin… jd mereka masih hidup dan makan spt penguin sekalipun mereka berhijrah ke hutan tropika.

Komuniti mereka smakin lama smakin ramai, maka ada tersedianya sebuah lubuk murah untuk penguin-penguin yang tidak mahu tinggal di atas pokok.

Di lubuk tersebut, penguin-penguin hidup dgn aman… tetapi mereka tak dpt memburu kerana lubuk itu kontang dan tiada ikan.

Jadi mereka terpaksa la upah penguin luar yg dikenali sbg Prati (prasan reti) utk sediakan mknn… ceritanya, kump penyedia mknn ini dipilih oleh komuti yg tidak tinggal di lubuk itu… tak mengapalah… apabila Prati bermula, dimulai dgn tempoh cubaan

Sepanjang tempoh cubaan tersebut, pelbagai rungutan timbul… ada yang kata, ikan tidak segar… sotong dan udangnya plastik, penguin suka makan mentah, tetapi pernah pula dijamu udang masak kari…lalu merungutlah penguin-penguin tersebut… yalah, lagipun mereka membayar.

Apa yang menariknya, setiap kali kepala komuti atasan turun menziarahi lubuk itu, Prati akan mengupah org lain pula utk menyediakan makanan lalu tersedialah ikan segar-segar dan udang besar-besar.

Namun laporan demi laporan dibuat kerana menurut pihak komuti, mereka akan mendengar sungutan kumpulan penguin itu… oh! Ada penguin yg telah sakit perut kerana di jamu ayam panggang… (mana penguin makan ayam!)Pernah sekali, kononya seorang wakil komuniti ditugaskan utk pantau mknn yg tersedia pd hari biasa dan pihak komuniti kata, laporannya baik-baik saja

Ketawa begulinglah penguin-penguin lubuk kerana wakil yang ditugaskan itu tidak pun pernah makan bersama dan rasa seperti yg ditugaskan.

Yg anehnya, setelah tempoh cubaan tamat, Prati masih mendapat kontrak tetap dr pihak komuniti. Bahkan turut mndpt kontrak mencuci lubuk setiap minggu.. oh, belum ditambah lagi keinginan mereka utk mbuka koprasi dilubuk dan mengugat bisnes penguin-penguin lubuk.

Lalu tertanya-tanyalah.. apa fungsi tempoh cubaan? Ke mana hilangnya rungutan yang bertalu-talu? Mengapa penguin lebuk harus terus membayar utk udang dan sotong plastik?

Prati sbnrnya tak reti tangkap ikan… Mengaku sajalah.

Sekian Terima Kasih.

Yang benar,
Penguin emo.
(penguin lebih rela makan makanan monyet spt pisang dan durian)