Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A Wishlist

I am really really really bored.... I want to read a book, but my eyes refuse to do so... I need to correct my article.. yet... not really sure how to... I want to eat, but I'm not hungry... I've been writing a puisi though but it sounds too melancholic..So I'm not going to publish it... Hence, I end up blogging nonsense.. hee~

Things that I want to do/be/have in this life
(for once, my wish list will exclude things related to architecture, otherwise it will be too long) ~

1. jadi budak baik
(merangkumi hidup selepas dan perkara yg sewaktu denganya yang tidak patut dicanangkan)
2. jadi penulis lirik
(I have this dream since I cant remember when, I really envy my brother... he stole my dream)

3. menerbitkan antologi puisi
4. learn how to draw and paint properly especially portraiture
5. be very proficient in english
6. run an ice cream shop
7. run a muslima boutique
8. build myself a mini semi-classic malay house close to a beach
9. a big shelf full of miniature collections
10. a mini private library
11. a 4x4
12. find true love
(ohoks.. I'm not against the idea of arranged marriage, I just think its great to "find" it myself..anyway.. I'm not into the idea of out of wedlock relationship..)
13. tour to europe, japan, egypt..maybe around the world
14. a romantic helicopter ride..heee~
15. a dessert fiesta where I can eat all marvelous dessert and sweets
16. receive a beautiful song/poem/painting specially composed just for me
(for good reason)
17. be an expert in human psychology without having to go through any formal course..hee
18. grow a sunflower farm
19. own a tea house & be a tea expert
20. find a secret place where nobody could find me...

Okay, I stop at 20... I know that all the above might sound a bit unrealistic... and also make me seem kind of selfish (semua ini idaman diri ini..isu dunia nanti buat senarai lain) ... but sometimes.. we just need to live our dreams, who knows what tomorrow will bring..


The love lake.. view from one of the balconies... It was quite foggy that morning~

It's rockasourous...

A bench, overlooking the lake.. Such a lonely feeling, yet peaceful~

The sun was setting and we were leaving...~

The trip was great... Grampian, the beauty is breathtaking.. My photos would never be able to depict that...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Lazy Day

It's winter...
It's holiday..
Sounds great, I really wish it will turn out as great as it sounds... so far.. Its been okay...

These few days...Somehow, I sort of realise that one of the things that is keeping me together is architecture... the workloads, flood of ideas that occupy my brain all the times, clear intention to turn on my computer.... they make me feel like.. myself...

Today... I decided to stay in... after a few days of great outings especially with Oya.. I just want to comfortably nest under my warmth quilt.. read a book with some chocolate biscuits and a glass of milk on my bedside table, accompanied by subtle music buzzing from my laptop... yeah.. I've been lazy... I also browse through websites and blogs trying to find some good poems to read... not many that I could find though.. how I wish I have one of A. Samad Said, Usman Awang or Chairil Anwar poeems compilation with... It's so sad to say that I don't even have any of those... :( ... Anyone who is unreasonably kind and would like to give me a present, Antologi Puisi by A Samad Said would be great.. hoohoo... (tak malu~)

From my bedroom window... I could see the muddy weather of winter... it's such a strange feeling to feel the movement of sun so vividly..I went to galleries to see and appreciate arts.. but unknowingly, being in my bedroom.. I could also feel and experience such a magnificent art by the Greatest Artist...MashaAllah... How ignorant I've become~

I love holiday.. I'm pretty sure.. everyone does.. but the excitement is on how to spend it.. I seriously envy those who could be with their love ones... but to fly back home.. might not be the best for me.. anyway.. I have plans... which will commence tomorrow inshaAllah.. So.. see how they go...

For those whose holiday has begun.. enjoy~

Monday, June 22, 2009



Sunday, June 21, 2009


Herm... to begin with, I'm really not sure why I want to write on this.. Maybe because I have too much time...tired of reading or just feel like blogging...Anyway..I'm probably just curious... I heard... some people say.. "orang cute/cantik/lawa/handsome, 'gedik' tak apa..kalau hodoh 'gedik' org meluat"...

First of all, as far as I'm concerned 'gedik' according to Kamus Dewan 4th edition means
bp = tergedik-gedik lincah (bkn gadis); bergedik-gedik bergerak-gerak, terketar-ketar; menggedik-gedikkan menggerak-gerakkan (bahagian badan spt kaki dll sewaktu mengelamun); kegedikan keadaan (sifat) gedik: ~ tubuh badannya yg montok.

But I suppose, the word 'gedik' in daily conversation carries wider meaning than that.. correct me if I'm wrong..maybe it means..overacting, mengada-ngada, terhegeh-hegeh, melampau, terlebih manja,flirty etc... but whatever it means, it's negative... right?!

So.. is the statement above true?

I would say.. aesthetic sensibility usually gives special consideration towards beautiful things/people... so, maybe.. just maybe... misbehavior such as' gedik' is acceptable if the 'penggedik' is good looking...

I wish I could make the font larger..

Good characters/behaviors beautify oneself... so, lets drop the gedik part and behave ourselves with great calmness :)

Nevertheless, 'gedik' is not really negative if it's used in the original context... as in, with the original meanings...

So.. I don't know.. whoever read this.. what do u think?

Friday, June 19, 2009

Me thinks....

Lately I've been thinking.. a lot.. too much, maybe.. about.. too many to list down.. anyway.. sometimes, I still feel like I'm living on a dream.. being able to study architecture.. it is a blessing for me.. such a shame to mention how ignorant I've become to ignore this blessing by keep complaining on the obstacles of this course eg; workloads and etc. whilst, I have friends who don't get a chance to do what they really want to do.. and on the other part of the world, some people with talents and intelligence greater than mine don't get a chance to have any proper education.

InshaAllah.. by His Will and Mercy.. at the end of this year, I will graduate for part1... not yet qualified to be an architect (I have to finish another 2 more years), but i suppose should be able see well what this architecture realm is about.

After so much thoughts...and talks.. i start to feel an unbearable burden on my shoulder. Architects, as many would see, might just seem as a bunch of people who design buildings and famous architects might be those who design 'great' buildings. That's pretty much it. But,architects aren't just designers... we are the environmentalists, revolutionists, socialist, functionalist, mentalist and many more... and being a Muslim.. the burden weighs more because the doings ain't just for here in, but also for here after.

How to be an architect who balances herein and hereafter?

Perhaps, I can't really answer this well.. but I know one little wonder that somehow is keeping me on the right track.. Islam is a perfect religion.. none single thing is excluded which means architecture is apart of Islam.. not Islam is apart of architecture.. therefore, i completely disagree with the branding of certain particular styles as Islamic Architecture... which most of them are very tangible, materialistic and middle-easterned. I'm currently writing a proper article on Islamic Architecture (senibina Islam) according to my interpretation and opinion, but it's in Malay because my English is horrendous... I will inshaAllah publish it if I feel, I should do so.. heeee..

Okay.. on top of all, I really look forward to serving my country... amongst many, Allah has selected me and some of my friends to be sponsored by jpa, have an opportunity to study here and I realise what it really means, at least to me..I know that I bear a great responsibility to my people (chewaahh, 'my people'..oro)... anyway.. I seriously hope, I could do more than just 'serve'... I really want to be a revolutionist who could preserve many good things that our society has and change all the bads, and I also believe.. becoming an architect gives me a lot more chances to do that.. how??? hahahaa.. -rahsia-

However, there is one little thing that worried me so much... I've heard and witnessed many graduates who were so enthusiastic and full of spirit.. fuller than spirit of stallions.. when they were studying.. but once they graduated, get a good position, have a great family... all the dreams and ambitions either deviated or blown by the wind... I wonder why.. haish... may I not be amongst those...

I really have a lot to say on this.. but maybe.. I should just stop for now... will write more soon, inshaAllah..

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


what a relief to be free from assignments and school works... Submission was yesterday... The final presentation that was last Thursday went really well... Allhamdulillah.. my biggest gratitude to Allah who makes things breezed through better than I had expected... Also, my thanks toward those who had helped me out through out the semester directly or indirectly...

I would love to upload some stuffs from the presentation.. but at the moment.. I just want to take a break from all those stuffs.. besides.. something is not quite right about my eyes.. I'm planning to take some day off from computer... hopefully it would ease my eyes... my views are all shaky and distorted now.. as if the world is shaking...But yeah.. I don't know how could I possibly do that...

Anyway.. it's time to relax... I want to finish this same novel that I've been reading for moons... go to the beach... eat ice cream...so on and on...

So.. have a good day everyone!

Friday, June 5, 2009

I'm on a Diet

toasted google

photoshop crisp

autocad salad with shredded rhino meat

Afternoon tea;
illustrator brownies

rhino steak with mashed vray

indesign rice cake

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Terasa lama tidak mengomel cerita di sini... Walaupun hakikatnya tidaklah begitu lama... Tidak pasti juga apa mahu aku kisahkan... Secangkir kopi di atas meja masih panas.. dan sepotong kek keju baru sedikit terusik.. aku sungguh mahu menyambung kerja semalam... hari pembentangan sudah tidak lama... namun sakit-sakit belakang akibat terbongkok-bongkok membuat model semalam masih garang berbekas... mungkin berhenti seketika bermodelan~

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Sekadar 'snippet' dari kenangan...
Saat rindu masa lalu bertamu... terimbau zaman kanak-kanak... Suatu masa dahulu, aku pernah ditegur ibu kerana doakan sesuatu yang pelik sungguh.... untuk memulakan cerita, aku semasa kecilnya tidak punya ramai kawan... mahu bermain di rumah teman adalah suatu tegahan... maka dengan duniaku... memanjat pokok rambutan dan bermain dengan semut dan ulat.... cuma aku punya keinginan... aku ingin punya sayap.. kerana aku ingin terbang...

Maka suatu hari, aku berdoa (mungkin dengan nada yang kuat maka ibu bisa dengar)... memohon pada Tuhan agar aku dikurniakan sepasang sayap.... Ibu menegur,, aku tidak ingat apa yang ditegur...

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Cumanya.. menjadi kanak-kanak itu sememangnya naif... sungguh aku tidak pasti apa tujuanku mahu terbang... mungkin supaya aku bisa memanjat lebih tinggi dahan pokok rambutan dan makan buahnya yang lebih ranum.. atau mungkin mahu memanjat pokok manggis yang susah sungguh untuk dipanjat... apapun.. doaku pada masa itu mungkin sungguh harfiah (literal)...

Namun tuhan itu maha mengerti... Dia tahu apa yang anak kecil itu perlu sewaktu anak itu merasa dia mahu... Mungkin aku ingin terbang secara harfiahnya... tetapi apa yang perlu untuk diriku adalah terbang secara maknawi... Dan sungguh hari ini... aku mengerti....

Terima kasih oh tuhan... mungkin sayap ku ini kecil.. tetapi suatu hari nanti... akan melebar menjadi kuat dan teguh.... Mungkin aku juga masih tidak bisa betul-betul terbang... namun.. aku sungguh tidak akan pernah berhenti mencuba.. dengan izinMu pengurnia sayap....

Sedang mencuba terbang~ :) Doakan sayapku tidak pincang...