Monday, January 24, 2011


butterfly on my curtain,
I may not always say this to you
since you're always going, too soon

now listen,

"you're beautiful..."

 and I wish you'd always be there
there there
on my curtain.

yellow is now my favorite color ^.^

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Cantik Untuk Siapa?

Recently, I stalked browsed through facebooks of a friend's wedding photos. I still feel a tad guilty that I didn't make to her wedding because I had to go to Perlis on that very date. I bought her a card, which I wanted to post but kept delaying until she has returned to Aus. haish... 

I know this friend in person and I hold her close to my heart. However, I'm not writing this on that reason, I only think that she's set a good example for many. 

It's turning into a trend to have a big amazing wedding, not just wedding.. engagement pun besar-besar which I don't see a point. Anyway, my friend, she is pretty. one of the prettiest girl I've ever known in person. 

In her photos, of course she looks gorgeous as always...especially she's the pengantin, selalunya pengantin la kena paling lawa semua., make up mestinya mau gempal, eh gempal.. gempak... but my friend, she looks so fabulously natural. no fake lashes, no layered of caking concealer and powder, no heavy lipstick, no no no.. almost, no make ups. mungkin la pakai bedak selapis pelembap bibir sikit ka. 

I imagine if you went to that kenduri with style like mak datin, mesti rasa mcm lebih2 dari pengantin. She reminds me of my brother's wedding in which my sis in law pun tak mekap sgt and my brother pakai biasa-biasa saja dan pergi sambut tetamu. haha... 

If you browsed through facebook or blogs, sometimes you notice a trend among anak gadis masa kini. kalau muka cantik, gambar tu nmpak cantik, upload buat profile pict. haha..indeed, I always fear I'd fall into this trend. Ada org pernah cakap, 'kalau u nak blog u ramai follower, selalu la letak gambar u yg nampak cantik'. hahaa. ok. 

But my friend has sort of reminded me that, you don't have to display your beauty to everyone. of course, modern women must always look presentable. Bukan suruh selekeh selebek. kena la tahu jaga ketrampilan. Jangan la pergi kerja macam nak pasar ikan. 

But be just to yourself ladies. there's place and time for everything, and that includes displaying your beauty. Mmg la.. kalau letak gambar cantik selalu senang dapat peminat, tapikan... when you're married.. I don't think your man would approve yourself being displayed like that. I don't know, maybe there's man who likes people to stare at her wife and says "dude, your wife is hot". urgh, tolongla! Isteri is not a trophy ok!

Ladies, if you're born pretty.. say thank to Allah. some women have to do everything in their power to look good. but for less attractive women, it's also a blessing... Allah has spared you from the gaze of men... you have no idea what it does to their heart. Allah has spared you from vanity which sets many women away from their main priority... pleasing Allah SWT.

Siapa taknak nampak/jadi cantik kan... tambah pulak kalau 'cik abang'nya didekati wanita2 lebih cantik.... tak apa, cinta itu bukan hanya pada rupa... kalau dia setia, dtglah siapa pun. (eh, terkluaq tajuk)... anyway, I always remind myself, the best and most beautiful women are the women of paradise. Indeed in paradise, the believing women are better than the hoor al-ayn. InshaAllah.

Saya pun kadang-kandang lupa, terlebih melaram... perasan lebih dan sebagainya... Silalah ingatkan saya ya... Alang-alang mahu sgt jadi cantik, cantiklah yg kekal selamanya.... dan tentunya hanya di syurga. ;)

:: kalau nak cinta sampai ke syurga, carilah orang yang mahu ke sana::

Sunday, January 16, 2011

bhukan ranting

Lalu sang kumbang setelah terbang seantero belukar dan padang, pun pulang. Dari jauhlah ia memandang si ros kembang semakin tunduk seolah mabuk cahaya yang lebih diteguk... terdengar esak dalam rajuk yang tak mampu terbujuk

"oh terlalu lama... terlalu lama.. terlalu lama"

"matahari itu lebih garang mengeringatkan aku yg terbang, namun aku masih tidak mampu menyentuhmu... lalu katakanlah, siapa yang lebih sengsara?"

Friday, January 7, 2011

10 Lessons from 2010

Faith and piety are for God to judge.
Caps and turban are turning into costumes these days.

How do rich people get rich? They are cheap!
(cheap  ≠ stingy)

Power is like lust. Once you taste it, you'll crave for more.
(even religious people are not excluded)

Inner beauty radiates, but not everyone can see it.
Poor those souls with blinded heart.

A gentleman doesn't 'act' like a gentleman, he lives like one.
There's sweetness in the demeanor (no no, no sweet talking)

Silence is one of the best 'temporary' solution.
Not everyone understands though.

Everybody loathes infidelity, but most people commit it.

The beautiful patience is mysterious and divine.
The tears are shed hidden, the pain is unspoken. No one knows, but God.

Love needs maintenance.
Sometimes it costs you more than you can afford. sigh.

Happiness is as simple as 'Alhamdulillah'

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I fancy mum and dad's little talk in the morning, how they both sit on the garden swing... just talking. Mum, to her own interest- whenever in that mini garden of hers, she'd talk about her flower plants, one by one. she does it so naturally that you could tell she knows every single plant like the back of her hand. Dad would listen, attentively, though I know, he's not so much into it... I bet mum knows it, as much as dad tries not to show it... because after awhile, she'll ask about dad's vegetation. Oh, they both have green fingers...!

There's something wonderful about elderly couples... it's sort of the evidence of, -what's the saying?-"Time flies, love endures."

I want a love like that, a love that lasts. Ameen.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


yay! second blog post of the day. haha..

I'm soooooooooooooooooo freakingggggg bored. I'm already at a stage of I-don't-care-if-people-read-or-not-I-just-want-to-blog.

Anyway, I was scrolling my phone and found some of this 'worth' sharing photos. Jeng jeng jeng....

Pekan Bukit Mertajam.

Kecik-kecik dulu, kaklong selalu bawak pergi BM. Beli baju skolah. baju raya semua situla. Jalan Arumugampillai is my most remembered street name. skalipun konfius hari tu yg mana satu. muahahaa...

Dulu nak makan KFC kat situ la satu-satunya tempat, la ni ada lagi. oh, 2 gmbar last tu cubaan ambik gmbar waktu kreta tgh gerak. huhu. buruk kan... byk kenangan ni. sadly, it's now no longer the main shopping district sebab dah ada Jusco la Tesco la macam2 shopping complex besar bukak. Though, the pekan looks like it's gonna go 'toh' anytime... the business there is still going pretty well I suppose. maybe sebab banyak foreigner (bangla n indon) suka pergi situ. 

Bosan bosan bosan. Kalau ada Khaulah pun best jugak dengar dia berleter. But don't doze off next to her, or you'll end up getting this when you wake up;

2011; Be Good, Miss Hyde.

I'm bored. 

It's been pretty mundane these few days. my day pretty much goes like......

food (optional)
food (optional)

(of course there's solat, shower and whatnot in between) 

Anyway, since my-genetically-tiny-however-bi-lids-eyes refuse to stare at those frayed pee colored pages of The Secrete Scripture, I'm feeding my boredom with writing this post which in it's nonsensical way kinda make me feel like doing something other than the aforementioned activities, though technically I'm on the internet. 

I visited my tumblr yesterday, after long forgotten months... it left me thinking that we human, at some unpredictable situations are prone to suffer temporary psychotic disorder. was I psychotic? It wasn't so much about what's written there, it's more to what I did, writing down and admitting such deep pathetic thoughts and let people read it. though I'm kinda pretty sure that there aren't many who have read those. But such thoughts if they were to be written, are only meant for diaries which hence thrown into the ocean. huhu.. I'm exaggerating. Also, at some points they sound rather pretentious no matter how certain I am that they were all written out of my deepest sincerest heart, well at least.. at that particular time. All in all, I'm pretty embarrassed. 

But again, we are all Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde sometimes, don't you think? It's just that, for some people, the alter-ago never comes out in bright day light.. or he/she sort of lays somewhere sleeping and never wakes up. Anyway, no matter what, to my mind... I feel a need for me to get know and understand that particular side of me

Therefore, in my case, my Miss Hyde (in ONE word) can be described as an 'irrational' persona. Of course, I can describe a lot more since I've been analyzing her in my head for last couple of days especially after what has recently happened. But there's no point of telling the world about it. Let only those, who've seen it, know it. 

All these thoughtful self-reflections somehow lead me to a conclusion about myself which thus become my new year resolution.  So to put it forth, my resolution is to tame The Miss Hyde in me... which hopefully will make me a whole better person. iA. Ameeeeen.

Oh by the way, I've also visited my friendster blog. muahahaa... yeah! that long ancient stuff. I almost forgot it's existence..and it's called 'Lacrymosa'. Why is that? huhu... I got no idea. Did I weep that much then? Anyway, I found these proses in one of the posts, I can't recall where it came from. Anyone knows? 

It’s like freedom, making some people jealous.
It’s like a rope between you n’ your fellows.
It’s like a web, you’re stuck. How could it be so that
some people don’t always know how they feel?

When you can talk to somebody who you can trust.
When you can lie to that somebody when you must.
It’s like health, respect, because you still got one.
It is the way that I feel, I’m not the only one…