Sunday, January 2, 2011

2011; Be Good, Miss Hyde.

I'm bored. 

It's been pretty mundane these few days. my day pretty much goes like......

bed.
internet.
food.
books.
internet.
books.
books.
food (optional)
books.
internet.
books.
food (optional)
internet
books.
bed.

(of course there's solat, shower and whatnot in between) 

Anyway, since my-genetically-tiny-however-bi-lids-eyes refuse to stare at those frayed pee colored pages of The Secrete Scripture, I'm feeding my boredom with writing this post which in it's nonsensical way kinda make me feel like doing something other than the aforementioned activities, though technically I'm on the internet. 

I visited my tumblr yesterday, after long forgotten months... it left me thinking that we human, at some unpredictable situations are prone to suffer temporary psychotic disorder. was I psychotic? It wasn't so much about what's written there, it's more to what I did, writing down and admitting such deep pathetic thoughts and let people read it. though I'm kinda pretty sure that there aren't many who have read those. But such thoughts if they were to be written, are only meant for diaries which hence thrown into the ocean. huhu.. I'm exaggerating. Also, at some points they sound rather pretentious no matter how certain I am that they were all written out of my deepest sincerest heart, well at least.. at that particular time. All in all, I'm pretty embarrassed. 

But again, we are all Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde sometimes, don't you think? It's just that, for some people, the alter-ago never comes out in bright day light.. or he/she sort of lays somewhere sleeping and never wakes up. Anyway, no matter what, to my mind... I feel a need for me to get know and understand that particular side of me

Therefore, in my case, my Miss Hyde (in ONE word) can be described as an 'irrational' persona. Of course, I can describe a lot more since I've been analyzing her in my head for last couple of days especially after what has recently happened. But there's no point of telling the world about it. Let only those, who've seen it, know it. 

All these thoughtful self-reflections somehow lead me to a conclusion about myself which thus become my new year resolution.  So to put it forth, my resolution is to tame The Miss Hyde in me... which hopefully will make me a whole better person. iA. Ameeeeen.

Oh by the way, I've also visited my friendster blog. muahahaa... yeah! that long ancient stuff. I almost forgot it's existence..and it's called 'Lacrymosa'. Why is that? huhu... I got no idea. Did I weep that much then? Anyway, I found these proses in one of the posts, I can't recall where it came from. Anyone knows? 


It’s like freedom, making some people jealous.
It’s like a rope between you n’ your fellows.
It’s like a web, you’re stuck. How could it be so that
some people don’t always know how they feel?


When you can talk to somebody who you can trust.
When you can lie to that somebody when you must.
It’s like health, respect, because you still got one.
It is the way that I feel, I’m not the only one…



2 comments:

tina said...

That's the thing abt new years isn't it? Or maybe the not-doin-anything-remotely-productive bit? (kindly refer to yours truly here). That moment when u just sort of reflect in your own self. Because that's what I've been doing (with my current unemployment state, that's just abt the only productive thing I can do for now). A lot lately - brought to light even more by the new year. And tht's exactly how I feel too. That thing about Miss Hyde (you sum it up better, succinctly). When I looked at my blog entries and things... it does makes one wonders. And think.

That's an excellent NY resolution (tho I try not to have one). To tame that hidden-tho-occasionally-pokes-her-head-out Ms Hyde.

KIAMBANG said...

not to mention, my Miss Hyde is oso very rebellious ooo tina.. haha.. this going to be a real challenge. hhaaha.