Sometimes I wonder if I would still blog after I go back for good since it always turns out that I don’t really blog whenever I return to Malaysia.
I’m back in Melbourne again. Despite everything I said about this place. I'm always thankful that I’m studying here. 8 hours is long enough, can’t imagine going further. Let alone going back during a short winter break like I just did. Haha…
However, regardless how good Melbourne is, coming back here is never easy. It is not the place, it’s the transition.
Travelling is tiring.
Yes, like yesterday, I had to take two flights, one from Penang to KL, then KL to Melb, it is a lot more tiring for someone like me who could barely sleep in a plane. That’s why I enjoy traveling during the day and taking a window seat. I enjoy day dreaming while staring at those fluffy white clouds. Haha..
Weather change changes everything.
I had never went back during winter before. So that was my first time experiencing an abrupt change from a freezing cold winter to a hot and humid tropical weather.
I honestly love cold weather because it makes my skin and hair feel healthier and smoother. Well, I still need to occasionally use lotion and moisturizer to prevent the skin dryness, but I rarely experience breakouts. Besides, coldness sometimes makes both my cheeks a little pinkish as if they had been sun-kissed. No blusher needed! Hahaa… but that doesn’t always happen, as I’m naturally bloodless pale.
I don’t hate Malaysian tropical weather, it’s a place where I was born and grew up and of course my skin had long adjusted to that weather before it gets to know winter. But the transition between two types of weather always affects my skin badly. It happens all the times, even when I go back during summer as summer here is hot but in a different way from Malaysia.
It’s time to heal my irritated skin.
Comfort is everywhere, but some comforts are more comfortable.
I have to say that I love being independent. There’re things that I couldn’t do in Malaysia but I could do here, like single strolling around the city etc. I love watching my own spending without having to depend on others. I love minding my own business without others nosing around to ask how thing is going on.
But at the same time, I love being cared and pampered by people around me. I love when people force me to eat when I'm feeling unwell… I love when mak blabbers over things undone... I love when ayah wakes me up for subuh. I love when people order me to do things that I already know. I love when people pick and order food for me without really asking what I want to have, kan Kak Sarah?
These are two sort of comforts. I enjoy both. But too much of independence makes me yearn for a little of subservience, and I’m only subservient to my love ones. I’m missing those attentions already.
Being loved and being with the loved one(s) is never the same.
I believe that distance is not really a problem in any love-relationship. Yes, it is an obstacle, but not the greatest because despite where you are, if you are loved, you are loved and that is why wherever I am, I always feel loved.
But it is so different when you are together. It is so different hearing mak says ‘sayang adik’ through the phone than staying next to her watching Malay drama. It’s not the same answering a call from ayah and hearing things like ‘ayah duk teringat kat adik’ compared to when he randomly asks me ‘adik, jom kita pi pasar malam dua orang’. The first one is more expressive than the second, but the second is more meaningful than the first. Love is both, emotional and physical. Words and actions.
I miss my niece, Ibtihal’s big hug.....
Oh my… I’m plainly complaining here. But I need to get these stuffs out of my head before I get a little too emotional. Haha…
oh ya! I have been scrolling the notes in my phone and realize that I actually have written quite a number of poems… but for some reasons publishing them is not really a good idea. Haish… haven’t updated my laman puisi for so long.
My holiday was short... but it was very very very meaningful.