Sunday, November 29, 2009

It's just another Sunday (tiada idea dah nak letak tajuk apa)

It has become a routine it seems... to walk solitarily around city and visit a bookshop every Sunday. But this time I didn’t browse from every genre to every book, but I sat quietly within shelves and read poetry… Hahaa… so much fun… But why are those poetry books so expensive? Dahla org jarang beli, mahal pula… haish… I wonder if someday I would be able to compile my puisi… A dream is a dream… but sometimes a dream does come true…btw, did you know that to experience the least expected moment is very unexpected?

Forget it; I don’t know what I was saying…

Anyhow, I jotted down some interesting title of those poetry anthologies… there are 3 of them that I really like;

1. Poem A Day, edited by Karen McCosker & Nocolson Albery
2. The McSweeney’s Book of Poet Picking Poet
3. Sor Juana, Octavio Paz

Well, the third one is more like a literature review… But since I had read some of Octavio Paz writings… I kind of like it very much… it’s quite academic in a way, though… not so cool for evening tea…

And again, I don’t buy any… hahaa.. but end up buying a half dozen of doughnuts. Bukan utk makan sorang… setengah dozen tu!...

I plan to look for those books online… maybe I could get them for a better price.

Someday I shall have a library of my own… A small room within a tropical garden… designed to be naturally aired and lighted... walls are painted in white, with some minimalist artistic murals… furnished with wooden shelves and colourful cushions… Decorated with sunflowers and building miniatures… water flows underneath the glass floor… The air is filled with the scent of musk… weh! Bangun Asriah… mimpi pula!!!
Hehe… but that sounds pretty cool isn’t it…

Come to think of my dream space or dwelling… I never dreamt of living in a mansion, really… All I want someday… is just an average size house… That could give comfort to me and my love ones… and I’ll design it myself inshaAllah… and what for having a mansion, if the atmosphere is all cold and lonely… Isn’t a small house with warmth and love is better… and the best of all houses to live in (in this dunya)… is the house in which love grows and flourishes by the Mercy of the Oft Merciful… a house full of barakah… and the best dwelling of all, is of course… Al-Firdaus…

Ok… ok… ok… Btw, a new pop up shop is opened in Melbourne Central… It’s just another expensive women clothing shop… but what is really cool is the concept, they use only recycled corrugated cardboard (you know, the brown box kind of material) as castle-like decoration of the store front and as well for furniture… really cool… hey architects, you guys shall have a look of it… it’s a pop up shop… a lady there said they’ll probably be there around 2 months only… but don’t buy anything… all stuffs are expensive…unless you want to give it as a present to me.. **wink**wink**

And.. yeah… a pair of glass high heels shoes with a big pink ribbon on top of each is really really reallly cute… But who would wear that? fine, I'm just being jealous... because I can't have em.... haha.. but even if I bought em, when and why on earth am I going to wear... perhaps my niece will think they're hers... they are adorable though.... really

Ok… I shall stop… merepek sungguh… but I would like to share this one quote form one of the books mentioned above…

“The firmest faith is in the fewest words”

Have a Good-day! =)

Friday, November 27, 2009

Eid it is!

Allahuakbar. Allahuakbar. Allahuakbar.

It’s the day of Eid.

Nothing much really… The prayer was short; the female jamaah had to finish our prayer on our own since the speaker went off suddenly. And, we could barely hear the khutbah… O’ brother, please check the microphone and speaker properly next time.

No Korban. Tak ada ka siapa2 nak sembelih kangaroo?

No makan-makan.

and obviously, no hajj.

Luckily my sister called this morning… Well, seriously I’ve been waiting… That makes my day.
Tapi tadi tertidur… ish… I didn’t sleep well last night…

But yeah, last night… the night of eid… an alien had visited me… so strange it was… hahaaa…


Am I losing my sense?

Apapun… banyakan bertakbir ya!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

It's not so Sun-day!

I wandered aimlessly around the city. I went where my feet took me to. My pure intention was solely to go out, and feel the rain. It’d been raining since yesterday and I love it.

I looked for the old man who usually plays erhu on the corner of China town. He was no longer there. I miss the melancholy sweetness of his music. He must be taking a break, its Sunday.

I stopped at Bourke Street; a lady was selling some instrumental cds. The music filled the air and it was so beautiful. I stood there in the midst of crowd next to her stall, while listening to the rhythm I read every face that passed me by… I knew that I would not remember any, but I didn’t know why I was doing so. It was fun, though.

I went to Readers Bookstore. I browsed the whole store from every genre to every book. I wanted to buy Vitruvius… but I feel like taking a break from architecture (though, I know that I can’t really do so)… So I spent hours selecting history novels. There were so many books that I wanted to buy, I became indecisive and ended up not buying any.

I went to Dicksmith… I just realized how weird the store name is. Anyhow, I think I should get a new laptop.

I get bored…then I grabbed a regular size very vanilla chiller and headed home. What a Sunday…!!!

I better lay back and continue reading the Great Expectation.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

What do you love about it?


Let’s talk about seasons…

Spring is leaving; I always love spring for its beauty… lying beneath the loveliest tree would always make my heart sing and dance. The wind is subtle… Whenever it caresses my face, I hear the voice of nature... but I haven’t seen my favorite sunflower yet this spring… the big one, almost a size of an XL saucer... I’ve seen one last two years… tp dah tak jumpa… =( Anyway, I wish spring would let me preserve some of its beauty in me… may I?

Summer is approaching; I don’t really fancy summer, it’s hot and dry… unlike Malaysia which is still hot but quite humid… and, people here wear less clothes on their body… it’s flesh everywhere… thank God I’m female… anyway kena jaga juga… but for the fact that its holiday… and I always go back to Malaysia during summer break… I couldn’t help myself but to love this season… tp tahun ni balik lambat.. sob**sob**

Autumn… my favorite! Hermmm.. I don’t really know… but out of the four… I love autumn the most… it’s a kind of feeling that comes without any specific reason… it almost like love… I suppose… For each falling leaf, it narrates a story of life, a crisp despair in the most enchanting manner… oh, mashaAllah!

Winter is when light looses and night wins. I always see winter as a very arrogant season. It makes me battle with the cold mercilessly... its either sleepless night or expensive electricity bill… I thank God that I’m here… in Melbourne, where winter is not as cruel as in Europe or US… despite of its arrogant… I find winter is still very likeable… because there is something about winter that resembles me… =) apa itu..? hehe..rahsia~

Anyway… each season has the good and the bad… like almost everything on the face of this earth… like any human character around us… (Except prophets, sbb mereka maksum)… Isn’t it normal… to like and dislike… but the best is to always appreciate the good and overlook the bad… don’t you think, so what is your favourite season?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Society by Eddie Vedder

what more can I say.. i'm in love with this song...

Oh, it's a mystery to me
We have a greed with which we have agreed
And you think you have to want more than you need
Until you have it all you won't be free

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

When you want more than you have
You think you need...
And when you think more than you want
Your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
Because when you have more than you think
You need more space

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely without me...
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

There's those thinking, more-or-less, less is more
But if less is more, how you keeping score?

Means for every point you make, your level drops
Kinda like you're starting from the top
You can't do that...

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely without me...
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

Society, have mercy on me
Hope you're not angry if I disagree...
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

Friday, November 6, 2009



Seharian aku berfikir, lalu fikiran terhenti di pelabuhan sebuah kesimpulan….

Kita ini sering merasakan kita watak utama dalam segala cerita yang berlegar di sekeliling kita. Lalu selaku watak utama, kita mahu lebih tumpuan lebih perhatian, tepukan dan sorakan….

Tapi kita lupa… sungguh.. kita ini watak utama… tetapi, watak utama hanya untuk cerita kita… aku menilai nasihat seorang teman untuk berfikir di luar diri kita.. meletakkan watak ‘aku’ sebagai watak ‘dia’.. pada asalnya, saat emosi menguasai diri.. aku kurang erti pada maksudnya.. namun setelah diberi masa pada diri… dan saat suara samudera menemani hati… nasihat itu hadir dan aku kira.. aku cukup mengerti… aku lalu berfikir tentang seorang manusia benama Asriah.

Kita sering merasa terkilan apabila dilupakan, diketepikan dan dihindari… dari sekecil kecil perkara… hingga sebesar-besarnya… oleh sejauh-jauh kenalan hingga seakrab-akrab teman… terutama dalam perkara paling berat, oleh orang yang paling dekat. Lalu fikirkan, jika kita merasa demikian.. letakkan nisbahnya.. kalau satu antara empat, lima atau enam..kita merasa sendirian… letakkan satu antara beribu… maka akan kelihatan… kita adalah beribu….

Namun kita manusia… aku kira, hikmah tuhan menciptakan cinta itu nyata.. bukan sekadar memenuihi fitrah jasmani… tetapi juga kemahuan hati… untuk menjadi yang istimewa sekurang-kurangnya untuk seseorang manusia… Bukan sekadar dikurnia cinta.. diajarkan pada manusia jalannya untuk memaut dan memurnikan cinta itu… mulianya….cinta… apatah lagi Penciptanya.

Drama. Semua ini hanya dunia. Apalah yang begitu membebani… sedangkan orang agama lagikan bertikam, inikan pula perihal dunia yang tiada apa-apa makna.

Kita jangan ada fanatik… namun seperkara tentang Dr Asri… yang aku kenal, bukan sebagai seorang tokoh… tetapi sebagai saudara… pada dirinya… sentiasa ada senyum…. Dalam bahagia mahupun luka… senyum… bahkan jenaka mesra, sentiasa menghiasi dirinya…

Lalu tersenyumlah….

Kita sering lupa… setiap sesuatu yang berlaku itu adalah ujian.... juga… suatu latihan daripada Tuhan, menyediakan diri untuk suatu cabaran lebih besar di masa akan datang…. Seperkara yang aku sedari… sepanjang perjalanan hidup ini, aku saban menelusuri duri-duri hubungan kemanusian dan setiap satu… ada perkara besar yang aku diajar...

Lagipun.. sudah 22 tahun bukan... perkara remeh tidak seharusnya memberi kesan... lebih banyak perkara besar untuk difikirkan... orang boleh memperlakukan kita seperti budak... tapi kita haruslah bertindak matang... kita tidak dinilai daripada apa yang diperlakukan ke atas kita, sebaliknya atas kelakuan kita sendiri...

Berlapang dada… sungguh… aku tidak akan pernah sama. Namun, segala yang berlaku… setakat itu sahaja ceritanya… tak guna menjeruk rasa… tak ke mana pun sudahnya…

Terima kasih semua… untuk sebuah pengalaman yang indah.. Terima kasih Tuhan, untuk sebuah latihan kekuatan demi sebuah masa depan…

Buatlah apa pun, Asriah tak kisah.... =)


p/s: kiambang tidak bermasalah cinta muda-mudi yang banyak dihadapi oleh manusia zaman sekarang... kiambang tidak bermain api... atau dengan kata lain mengambil risiko untuk terjun ke dalam api... ini cerita lain...namun tetap juga cerita kasih sayang...

A Fish With A Smile

Monday, November 2, 2009

Kerana Kita Berbeza

Kita melihat manusia...

Tangan yang seharusnya berpautan berjalan sama menuju suatu tujuan dan matlamat yg sama saling meruntun agar tersungkur yang berada seiringan.

Hati yang sepatutnya menyatu menjadi segumpal kuasa padu dipenuhi dengan hasad yang saling melaknat.

Jiwa yang seharusnya damai dalam hadir setiap satu, menjadi berat dan sarat dengan rasa jemu dan semu.

Sungguh, mana manusia mampu sempurna pada pandangan semua. Mana manusia tidak ada khilaf pada tingkah dan kata. Apa kamu yakin kamu sempurna?

Namun manusia pendendam itu lebih haloba daripada si bakhil akan haknya. Haknya yang tak tertunai dikumpul mengunung lalu diletuskan pada suatu masa.... dan pada masa itu, segala hak manusia disekelilingnya menjadi lebur dalam amarah dendam yang begitu diam.

Aku selalu tidak mampu, mungkin juga tidak cukup usaha menunaikan hak kamu, maka dengan itu... aku memohon maaf. Sekalipun maaf itu tidak ada makna bagi letusan dendam mu.. namun hanya itu yang aku mampu berikan.

Aku manusia yang begitu kurang hemah, terlalu capik akhlakku... tidak mampu untuk aku selalu kurniakan senyum buat kamu... namun aku sesungguhnya benci dengan kecelaan diriku dan sedaya upaya aku mahu dan berusaha untuk membunuh segala mazmumah yg bertamu... dan aku masih berusaha, seandainya kamu tidak tahu....

Aku bukan orang bijaksana yang mampu menafsir manusia dari sekilas renung mata. Tidak juga ku faham bahasa diam yang kamu gunakan... sekiranya dikatakan diam itu lebih baik... izinkan aku ingatkan... diam juga harus bertempat...

Kita melihat manusia...

Tidak pernah sama. Sekalipun ada iras pada wajah, gerak gaya mahupun rentak bicara... Manusia tidak pernah sama... tidak pernah... Ini ialah kuasa pencipta yang menjadikan kita berbeza.

Sayangnya... kita selalu gagal menerima perbezaan yang ada... lalu kita menjadi manusia tewas... tewas dengan nafsu mahu unggul seorang, disanjung bak pejuang...

Kita melihat manusia...

Kita manusia melihat manusia... lalu kita harus lebih mengerti...

**Mulai hari ini... dan saat ini, aku tidak akan pernah sama....