Sunday, December 11, 2011

De-attachment

(warning: this is one of those boring emotional lament I often write when I get, well emotional) 

Light projection on State Library's facade. 

Weather I like it or not, the day will still arrive. I have 5 days, of my 5 years stay here. I know I've been ranting about it for the past few posts... but hey, detachment is god knows difficult.

I remember my first tram ride here. It was a tram ride to the city, for in my first year, I lived somewhere in the outskirt of the Melbourne CBD. I was 19, well turning 20 on that year to be exact. That day, I couldn't imagine spending my year after year here, I know that I would, but it was hard to comprehend the idea of being in a foreign land on my own... it was an excitement infused with fear and curiosity...I, was a little kampong girl who for the first time had set her feet in a place somewhere over 4000 miles away from home.. I couldn't imagine all the things that had happened in the last five years, but still... as my memory can recall.. they did take place in my life.

I am of course, happy to go home. Blood is thicker than water, although in these days, oil seems to be thicker than anything.. Blood, is indeed thicker than the aromatic morning cappuccino dusted with the heaviest chocolate powder over a layer of fluffy creamy foam. I miss my family... for I would inshaAllah, give all that I could for them... that includes, a desire for prideful personal achievement or even money. So, I am of course going home and excited about it. The thought of spending my days sembang with mak ayah, weekends shopping with my dearest Kak sarah, lepak2 at my siblings house... Those are sweet... sweeter than the sweetest nectarine from the grandest season. I love my family. enough said.

Yet, five years is an oodles amount of memories...and memories are memories, either bad or good, they often last. well, the bad ones often seem to leave permanent effect.. but the good ones would always be forever cherished. 5 years is ofc long enough to have given me an equal amount of both... but hey... every occurrence that came prior to the memory had made me who I am today, I think I have grown out quite well out of them. ahahah.

I guess the actual detachment is when you are left with no other option but to stay detached... and you can never be fully detached of something that has came to past until it has been replaced by something better, or more remarkable... I hope, in Malaysia, I'll have something better than cold weather, good transportation, freedom and higher purchasing power... ahaha... (sounds almost impossible)...

But still... love can soar above everything...     ;)

Bonda, ayahanda... tunggu anakanda pulang~~~

1 comment:

Tina said...

:')

Bercampo-baur rasa baca post ni. Rasa mcm... sad, yet happy. 'Looking forward to the future' yet 'nostalgic of the past' kinda feeling.

Enjoy Melbored As-koo. And end your stay with a bang!