You do not know how much what you say on fb or twitter can affect others. or at least make others think. for example, a brother on my twitter tweeted;
"a sister's reading Quran on the tram, mashaAllah"
This left me pondering about people's perception seeing me reading Quran on a tram. I don't do it frequently, in fact I rarely carry Quran around since I use iphone for there's an apps for it, but now that its Ramadhan, just like many of us I try my best to increase my Quran reading as much as I can... and travelling over an hour to and fro almost everyday gives me quite a chance to flip through my little holy book. I used not to mind what people think, especially the non-muslims. I sometimes like how that sort of thing kinda become a conversation starter. but to make 'an impression' on other muslim, is the least I wish to do.
To me...it's some kind of guilt to present yourself better than what you are. I feel ashamed if people had given a better impression than my true self. I wonder if any of you had ever felt this way too. I don't know how to explain this. It's just, people kinda give you a good perception and somehow through the complexity of your mind, it turns into an expectation that does not meet up the actual condition. and, it's a shame, on me! huhu.
So today, I clothed my little green Quran with floral pattern wrapping. Unless you peep through, no one knows what I'm reading. I don't know if it's good or bad. but the matter of heart, is always hard to justify.
O'Allah, grant me hikmah in every decision I made, big or small. Ameen