mirpof

It's tomorrow and I can't sleep.

Oh God. Arrived home on Saturday and suddenly everything went by real quick. And it's Monday today. I'm scared.

It's good to know you have safely arrived home.

Bon Voyage, love. Have a safe trip home!

A week! oh it seems so far moons ago. Where did the time wander?

I have fever and everything that comes with it. Coming home after work today, I was a girl with a mission. I'm going to do something with my stuffy nose because I couldn't bear breathing through my mouth, it makes me sound like a whale and cough more often. I read, somewhere on the internet (u know, like after an hour of scrolling through 'how-to' google search results) that inhaling steam helps your breathing. So, in desperation to de-congest my stuffy nose, I boiled some water, poured it into a bowl, and carefully carried the bowl into a table, so I could sit, put a blanket over my head and inhale the steam... It turned out, I wasn't careful enough... while  carrying the hot water to the table, I lost balance... and the steaming hot water spilled over my hand. Lesson 101, if you're having a severe headache and can't barely walk properly, don't be so ambitious with yourself, you know like carrying a dangerous object while walking or.....

Less than 10. I'm scared.

I missed it.

I like your shoes. They are perfect.

Headache.

You are my James Bond!

It won't always be easy, I know...

There is no turning back from where we are now,  I chose you. Once did, forever do. Meow. 

Do you know what I love the most about you? I am asking, because I don't know. That convinces me that I will never fall out of love with you,  because a love that stays for no reason, shall have no reason to leave. InshaAllah. 734, 876 seconds to go.

uhuk uhuk uhukk uhukk... its monday, and I am home. alone. I've been feeling ill since yesterday, and woke up this morning with a heavy head. I dragged my feet that carries my body to the washroom. I felt so fragile. Prayed two rakaat of fajr and my mind made up, 'I'm not going to work today'. It's cloudy but warm as always, I wrapped myself in a thin blanket and rolled up on my bed. I imagined myself as a half-cooked sausage. My body is warm, but its cold at the same time, I could feel the chill.  I am a hot sausage topped with a layer of frozen lettuce and carefully wrapped in a room temperature pita bread, that is my blanket. I closed my eyes, or I think it was more like, they closed themselves.  I slept for two hours or so and woke up to my own violent cough. I need to see a doctor.

Sejenak di rumah bonda lewat hari raya yang lalu, di suatu pagi saat merenung ke luar jendela lama (sbrnya tgkap baru sbb baru renovate tukar bingkai, tp lokasi sama) yang telah berapa org 'aku' menembus pandang di situ, aku bertanya pada diri, siapa aku sebenarnya... Kebelakangan ini, media menyiarkan tentang keganasan dan gambar-gambar yang menganggu tentang situasi di Raba'a, Mesir, terus jiwa semakin terganggu, melihat senyum para syuhada, melihat hancur tubuh manusia, Allah... kerdilnya aku rasakan. Terasa murahnya nyawa, dekatnya mati, lemahnya upaya dan syaitanya manusia. Aku menangis dan meratapi situasi di sana, spt saudara kita yg jauh adanya, aku kirim hanya dua'a. Aku masih mencari diri, Lahirnya aku dalam sebuah keluarga yang sudah 'kembali' mendekati agama, aku diajari solat sedari umur 7 tahun, ayah sedia pukul sekiranya enggan. 19 tahun menunaikan solat, belajar semula tatacara yang lebih sempura melalui buku sifat solat nabi karanga...

Assalamualaikum, How is your Ramadhan so far? My ramadhan has been, if not awesome, alhamdulillah..not so bad. I just came back form Penang yesterday but I already miss home. I seriously don't enjoy Ramadhan in KL much. It was better in Melbourne, it was much much better in Penang. No, it isn't just about the food and family. It's about the environment that facilitates the appreciation of Ramadhan. KL is always too busy. I hate the evening traffic. I don't like the idea of driving to the masjeed alone to pray tarawekh to which my dad advised, the best place for you to pray is in your home. So from now on, No more going to tarawekh alone. I'm gonna miss the imam's beautiful recitation. It takes a whole new level of motivation to pray tarawekh at home, alone... Allah... I wish I were married, so I can go to the masjeed with my husband... haha Speaking of being married... I had my braces off about a month ago, and I remember coming home to mak saying, ...

It occurred to me that I always take my glasses off whenever I need to focus on doing a serious task. Like when I have to resolve a complicated detailing on Autocad. Or when I need to proof check construction drawings,  Or even when I want to compose a new poem. So if it happens that I take my glasses off when I talk to you, please know that you have attained my full attention. Please know that at the instance my glasses leave my nose bridge, and the moment you see my naked Asian eyes blinking earnestly although not very attractively, the whole world has become unimportant, the surrounding is just a bokeh of lights and sounds, and for that very glorious moment the only subject that matters in the whole universe, is you. Although sometimes, I just need to wipe off the greasy marks and fog on my glasses. :)

Seperti kebanyakan daripada kita, saya turut merasa rimas dengan isu-isu pilihanraya yang bertebaran di setiap media dan dunia maya, seolah-olah tiada kesudahan. Saya juga menjadi hairan dengan beberapa orang kawan-kawan yang selama saya kenal akan mereka tidak pernah berminat isu negara tiba-tiba menjadi penganalisa politik terkemuka. Menyebar cerita dan membenarkan segala yang dia percaya, seolah-olah tiadalah yang betul melainkan apa yg ada dalam kepalanya dan sehaluan saja. Saya mohon perlindungan tuhan supaya saya tidak begitu. Sedaya upaya saya cuba tidak menyebar sebarang berita di facebook twitter atau mana-mana tanpa usul periksa. Ah! Nak mengusul periksa pun begitu seksa rasanya dengan kacau kicau bilau semua orang berkata. Orang muda. Orang muda seperti saya, ya, saya rasa saya muda biarpun ibunda saya sering mengomokkan tidak lama saya akan jadi anak dara tua, saya bersangka orang muda seperti saya boleh terima, yang Barisan Nasional itu sekalipun mereka menang piliha...

There was an article I read a few months ago with the title "Why is the child sleeping in the arms of a beggar." Although the source an authenticity of the writing is questionable, the points written worth a little attention and perhaps, more contemplation. I don't have kids myself, but I have lived with my nephews and nieces. Kids, being themselves, at such age, they don't sleep all day long. They run around and cry. Remember the last time you walked past a beggar with a child. What was the little child doing. Sleeping? And try to recall a couple of times before the last times you walk past them. Was the little creature sleeping too? Next time, you might want to try remembering the child's face, and see for yourself if the next time you walk past the same mother weather its the same child sleeping on her lap. It was mentioned in the article, from an investigation ( insertyourskepticismhere ) , the children were drugged to keep them asleep and in some cases, they...

It's one of those weekends when I don't feel very well. Health is one of those blessings that you only realise when it's gone away. And I sit here in my little cradle with a cup of tea that often turns cold before my third sip. Dearest tea, you've gone cold too soon. who is going to warm up the aching pores of my old soul now. Heat up. I look out through the sliding door in my balcony and notice a little bird poop on it. It is white like toothpaste, but disgusting because it is a poop. Most of us, would agree that poop is disgusting. Dear birdie, I love your songs but your business here, is not welcome. I hear a faint cry of a lawn mower. I imagine the lawn mower man wearing a budenovka to cover up his head from the heat, with a towel underneath the cap, covering half of his face and absorbing his gracefully falling drops of sweat. Thank you for doing a job that most of us refuse to do. I hope you love your job like I love mine.  I hear a sound...

Bismillah.... April it is now. I can hardly remember the last time I wrote anything here and what kind of fuss was it. haha. Anyways, yeah... I've been busy with technically everything. From settling to a new home, adjusting with a new workplace, learning the traffic, reviving my cooking talent (assuming it existed in the past) to getting to know new people as well those I might have known in the past. At some point of life you might be brought back to where you were once, it could be you might end up working at your school, university, hometown, you might end up working with your schoolmates or just simply meeting them again in a casual gathering after, say 10 years. When this happens, as for me, I take it as a new experience, those familiar places and faces are as strange as anything/one new. Things change, people change after all. And as the saying goes, the only constant thing in life is; change. Speaking of change, have you ever felt like something inside yourself is ...

Maybe I am a bit too obsessed with getting my life mapped out and planned. I'm always busy keeping tracks and pulling out dates for almost every event No matter if it's certain to happen or just an expected coincidence I jot down with an almost macabre sense of confidence. 7 years ago when I started using a planner I was still a student It was filled with dates for classes, exams and dues for school assignment Today I am an architect with lots of meetings, site visit, pending submissions and appointments But writing a planner is becoming more like an obsession, I recorded almost every occurrence holiday, sales and bills, my favourite snacks expiry date and sometimes the weather condition I put down the day I expected my shoes to get worn out and probably need to buy a new ones And if I had missed something, it will be backdated at an instance I am obsessed with pre-arranging and scheduling everything that sometimes dealing with people can give...

I had a long week last week. From technical meeting on Monday to Site Meeting on Tuesday to 3 days am to pm interaction meeting to another urgent site inspection on Friday. I'm exhausted, flat on my ass at the end of the week that I could hardly enjoy a fabulous Friday night family dinner of ikan bakar at Teluk Tempoyak. kesian kan. haha. Anyway, no matter how tiring it feels sometimes, I do gain satisfaction with the thing I'm doing. Working in a consultant company has given me such a great opportunity to learn so much about the profession. I love being in charge of a project, flipping through tones of thick heavy drawings and reports no matter how they often caused me paper cuts, rushing to the site under scorching hot Malaysia sun that often makes me dizzy, I love coordinating people albeit sometimes feeling all lost and confused when speaking to the engineers and other consultants, contractors, councils etc. I love discussing technical issues, giving out ide...

"thank you for stopping by....." This was in Melbourne, I would have been there if I were still in Melbourne. They are awesome, I know. Perfect pair. Not in a romantic sense.  Urgh.. why oh why didn't you guys visit Australia in 2011. 

Reality unfolds not the way we were often told. All in all, Allah knows best.

I was baffled with the story of a 13 year old trying to rape a woman at a Shell Petrol Kiosk. And today another story of a 14 year old committed suicide.  At that age, I was trying to get used to a hostel life, making more friends, curing homesick, keeping good scores at school and saving up monthly pocket money for a little shopping with my sister at the end of the month.  Those things were like my greatest struggles. These kids, I wonder what kind of childhood did they have.  God, I don't even know if I should be mad or sad for either of the story. And as a woman, you can't literally trust anybody, not even a kid with an innocent face. God... Being a parent these days must be very challenging. I don't know if I would make a good mother.  . . . . . . . . .   In a parallel universe... As I came back from work, a seven year old neighbour who was playing near by told me that I looked pretty today. Awwww~ But then he also asked if ...

I had a hard time at the office today. The boss was mad at me.  However, I learned one valuable lesson. No matter how hard I try, or how much confidence I had, I need to stop myself from pushing too hard. I have my limit and still have heaps to learn. I should not rush into doing things or trying to do everything at the same time. Take things slow, not too slow that I would be left behind... but slow enough to avoid choking while chewing and digesting all the new experiences and information.  I made mistakes. I admit it. I believe admitting your mistakes is a step towards maturity. What's next? Be responsible? If you broke something- fix it, If you lost something - find it, If you took something - admit it, If you hurt someone - apologize, If you love someone - tell her. Ops! haha.. the final 'If' may or may not be a mistake.  What was my mistake? I overlook a structural discrepancies between engineer's and architect's construction drawings causing s...