Doubt

I hate uncertainties in so many ways. It always leaves me in a difficult situation which will hinder me from taking any progressive steps.

As much as I love design subject, it always puts me in this situation in which I have to choose between doing either what I really like to do or what my tutor wants me to do. Maybe it seems like I should always listen to my tutor, but when you come to something subjective like design, doing what your tutor wants you to do is not always good enough... she will expect more, to an expense of you do what you want, however that may not please her because what you want always contradicts what your tutor wants.

People understand things differently; a thing about being a designer is you must be transparent enough to allow people to read your mind, but to some people... regardless how transparent you are they won’t just see through you because they are mentally blocked by their own existing perception. So you have to talk through your ideas, peel it carefully like peeling an onion.

I know that it’s a part of life that we will always face uncertain situation... but if there is a room to make things certain, I would always go head on in trying to make things as certain as it could ever be.

In many situations, I prefer if I do A, I’ll get to B. Rather than, I do A, I’ll probably get to B or C or D or maybe just stay at A... I’m not limiting my options, but I like to be focused about my goal... and if I were ever told to wait for something, I need to know what I’m waiting for, not just ‘something’... and If I were really to wait, I need to know that my waiting will not be in vain. Or, I should say... I need some hope. Less, I won’t move... and if l let my doubt to grow, one day...it’ll be high enough to bury all my dreams and wishes.

Therefore, I need to know what I’m trying to achieve here with my design concept, why setting a goal seems so hard now..... I should get back to work~!



Vivian, will you ever like my design?


Give me some hope.