Friday, March 26, 2010

It's not empty.

Bismillah…

I’ve been busy… thinking.

Remember what Einstein said…

“the person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking”

So yeah… I’ve been reading, as well as thinking… For some unexplainable state of mind, I started to feel the change in my architectural perception… I guess, the reading requirement for my current studio has sort of plays the biggest role in shuffling my mind back and forth, up and down, placing it in such a vulnerable position of perceiving architecture… Architecture to me is… ambiguous!

Anyway, I don’t feel like profoundly discussing all the philosophical architecture discourse that has been forcefully woven into my brain cells… but there is the idea of ‘horror vacui’ or fear of emptiness that struck me into thinking about the emptiness in life, and how much we always try to fill up the holes in our life with the unnecessary… and at the same time, there is this discussion regarding accepting and living the nothingness …

Looking at these two things from my personal point of view rather than architectural perspective, I feel extremely grateful to be someone who has a faith in my heart… Faith is the thing that cures the emptiness and denies the nothingness.

(I need to explain, whenever I mention about emptiness/nothingness in life, I am not referring to the absence of materials like money, jobs etc… it is more to the intangible life substances (emotions? feelings?) in our heart that gives some sort of meaning to life… for instances; hopes, ambition, love, memories,determination…)

Throughout life, there is desolation /rejection/ isolation/ etc that leads into the state of emptiness in life… and for some people, it is a great fear… on the other hand, some people, surprisingly accept it open-heartedly… but there is a question of happiness that I believe is a fundamental element of life… I wonder if we learn to accept that we have nothing for life and life has nothing for us, would make us happy… we would basically live in a daily basis, no concerns for tomorrow and yesterdays are all erased… I wonder if anyone could actually do that… but, if we are living in such manner, we are almost like zombies... and life would be so meaningless… this somehow reminds me of an atheist friend who used to ask me to pray for him saying how good it is to me because I have ‘something’…

Well, I would love to response to him that it was his decision at the first place to have ‘nothing’… butttt…. Yeah, it’s another story… so, if it’s not too vain… I would say that, there is no horror vacui in my life… and I reject the acceptance of nothingness… my point is, I always have my Lord, and I can always turn to Him anywhere and anytime… there is no single moment in my life that I ever experience complete emptiness (let alone to bother about nothingness), because I know that He is there… closer than the jugular veins… and, knowing that there is a super power above everything gives me the chance to remember the past, hope for tomorrows and cherish the present… MashaAllah, it is a blessing…

OK, I suppose… most of this philosophical discourse is literally a mind play… it takes you to a point where you could barely agree with any position because its either too surreal, too senseless or maybe too good to be true. I have to say that it is difficult to digest all of these things that I’m currently reading… perhaps, no one could really understand what I'm blabbering about in this post... but I guess the virtue is not just in the understanding of texts but as well as the impact it makes to the reality of life… architecture always teaches me something new about life… :) 

p/s: I heard that love can build a bridge… really? I wonder why we need structural engineers…XD

2 comments:

uglychase said...

ah i am so liking the post. i always believe that there is no complete emptiness. everyone has our own emotional guard that we wish to lower or not.i might refuse to lower my emotional guard that i don't find it painful to be alone or otherwise. emptiness seems to be an overrated feelings right?

keep on writing.(=

KIAMBANG said...

u are absolutely right... =)
thank u...