I am an architecture student!

I had a conversation with a friend about life.. yeah.. life as an architecture student.. In most cases, when u start doing architecture course.. life will change, well yeah.. life does change what ever u do.. but, doing architecture is like..giving ur life to it.. yeah... yeah.. i know, it happens in other field too.. this thing is called..'obsession'.. architecture eats ur life and lives in ur brain.. there is no such thing that u could do in a blink in architecture n you'll sort of think about it wherever n whenever u are..

The act of designing is not like studying.. u can't just allocate some time... grab a pen, hence design.. thing doesn't happen that way.. ideas, most of the time do not come at the right time... designing happens while u r walking on the street, brushing teeth, taking a shower, talking to friend, eating fries, staring at the sun or even while ur sleeping.. anytime.. anywhere.. when it happens, it just happens...

Sometimes, I feel like.. architecture students.. are like zombies.. live life less.. just do what is assigned to do eg: eating living people.. no I mean, design n stuffs... Sleepless nights.. that's normal.. being an expatriate at uni computer labs... very normal.. eating craps.. paper cuts.. slicing own flesh... sticking own fingers... cursing computers...redbulls.. coffee..sleeping on the floor.. okay, I should stop.. (no wonder why my bro was so freaked out when I said I wanna do architecture... I remember, he was a lecturer at IIUM that time.. n he was like " archi students at IIUM are... blablabla..." ask them...)

However... There are so many other interesting things in this life.. so much to live for this life and so much to fight for the after life... and.. I don't wanna be one of those zombies... When I was a newbie (well, i remember there was a guest critique who called me 'a baby' when I was in first year and labeled children for those who had become architects for 10 years.. wonder when u can become a grandfather) I thought.. that it is.. the life that i have to live... no other option.. but, I wasn't happy to succumb too easily to a designed life style for architects... as what Sean (my current tutor) might have said "Azria, u're a modernist a designer, u must make ur own decision".. btw I like people calling me 'Azria'.. as I find out that in Hebrew it means 'blessed by God'... Okay.. what i was trying to say previously is that... in this life, we could decide how we want to live and to me.. 'a balance lifestyle is necessary'... It is me.. since I was small.. I won't do stuff unwillingly.. and another thing is the issue of sincerity.. It doesn't come easy.. If u do thing unwillingly.. sincerity is more likely to be non existed.. well, I'm not saying that.. stop doing what you're doing and wait for sincerity or 'the mood' to come.. No.. no.. it's not what I mean... human need forces to move.. we need to push ourselves in order to achieve our goals.. But it's the matter doing it the right way.. by not sacrificing other more precious elements of our life.. yes, it's true that success does not come without sacrifice.. but what if the sacrifice costs more that the success itself.. what for a luxurious life, amazing business achievements.. but the life itself is empty from love and warmth... what for being a king in this world... but in hereafter.. u'll be thrown to the lowest abyss (nauzubillahi min zalik) Get my point? somebody is getting a lil' bit emo here....hee

Yes.. I love architecture.. I take this course despite of many objections I had received... It was a bumpy road for me to get here... and I'm not gonna let this opportunity slip easily through my fingers... It's just that... I don't want architecture to eat my life... lets architecture becomes a tool for me to lead a better life.. Architecture does not determine my future.. I, determine the future of architecture.. I suppose, that is what the avant garde does right (somebody might know better about this)

I am an architecture student... I have lot of works to do.. I'm always busy.. but I do sleep at night.. I do hang out with friends.. I attend anything I want to attend eg conference, religious group meeting etc, I go to beach (really love this), I read non archi related books, I watch movies (only at home though, it's personal preference... don't like cinema), I do martial arts, I write poetries, I talk to friends overseas, I call my family quite frequent, I try new recipes very often.. but the best.. I dream almost about everything.. not just architecture...

I guess, my render is done... time to get back to architecture!