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One Afternoon, I Wrote...

It is a quiet afternoon, I'm sitting on the most comfortable chair I could find in this house, my brother's house. My eldest brother lives a door away from my parents, and my second brother built a house in the nighest land of my father... My eldest sister, bought a house not so far from here, it takes about 20-30 minutes to get here by car... I know, I used to go to school near her house. 

I am the youngest of the family. The rest are married and... I suppose happy.

I haven't got a house of my own. I live with my parents.

The ceiling fans are spinning real fast. Here in Malaysia, almost everybody is famous, for most of us have at least a fan, and we keep our fans at home. Some hang in the ceilings, some keep them standing on the side, like bodyguards, who spin. These days however, the riches are losing their fans. 

I'm yet 25. Almost, no not really. 24 still. sounds better, younger for sure. What is there really in a mind of a 24 yr old girl? a girl? or is she,uhm... a woman? I don't know. 

Pause. Sambal kerang is on the stove. A pinch more of salt. ho yeah, done.

And I asked. Is light really the fastest traveler? I believe he isn't. A mind is, I presumed. and it travels through time. Funny that, it moves faster when you body is still. Perhaps it's just me. Look at me, my head is still, tilting downward, my eyes wink occasionally, often caused by a touch of the foreign creature in the air. My feet are barely touching the floor leaving the appearance of a slight limp. Only my fingers are moving, and my eyes, they are following the movement of my fingers, switching to the screen alternatively. 

But my mind. She just came back from year 2003, the day I moved to a different school. She went to Melbourne, digging the details of a tram track where a tram ought to change it's direction. She visited London Christmas Theme Park and back on Sambal Kerang. An a moment ago, she wanders through the most delusional vision, a dream home of mine, complete with the households.

I'm jobless. Yet I dream so much. No, dreams happen when you sleep. I hope so much. That is more correct. Two things on earth that were never affected by gravity are hope and love. One soars up high on its own accord defeating gravity and the other fall endlessly even in the vacuum.When you posses both, you struggle to get a hold of reality. No, no... you do get a hold of reality, they both are real... but they provide an alternative reality in which many of us, can easily get lost. But hey, it's a lot more beautiful and pleasantly livable than the unyielding reality where everything is real, including pain and suffering. It's okay to get lost, sometimes, provided you constantly move... Thus, one must not be in a phase longer than he should be. I need to get a job.

It's time for lunch. How about, nasi with sambal kerang, ikan air asam, sayur sawi, ikan goreng and sambal?

Bon Appetite. 



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Comments

chimidama said…
As! I LOVE your writing!

and hey, you're back.. turun shah alam? dtg rumah ok..

and kalau nak rumah sewa, sewa dgn i pun ok..hoho..
January 30, 2012 at 6:46 PM
Tina said…
There are times when words are just not enough to describe how I feel.

This is one of those times :)
January 30, 2012 at 11:15 PM
asriah said…
Shida!
aaaa... tgh cari kerja tak dapat2 lagi niiii. Ada bilik kosong ka?

Tina
You do know how to flatter. ahaha
February 1, 2012 at 7:26 PM
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