Ayah has been quite unwell for the last few weeks. He had diabetes blood sugar level of 19, resulted in some type of glaucoma. For a person who has such a minimum awareness of scientific and health knowledge, I do feel a bit useless when it comes to this kind of situation. It's always frustrating when I couldn't get my head around a matter that gravely concerns me. Well, surely I can ask google...it ain't that simple for me though, I always have a hard time understanding medical explanation due to my lack of such vocabulary. I need to educate myself a lot more when it comes to this. I should really do. (ok ok I'll go read about retinopathy after this...haha) Brother recently called, jokingly asked why didn't I come home to pay dad a visit. I wish I could. It adds to the frustration when you talked to almost every family member but neither of them could actually explain and clarify dad's condition. Maybe they were right, the family needs a doctor. anyone?. hahaa...
It's a similar kind of frustration but in a different sense that you get, witnessing Malaysian politics. You can tell how critical (read: dirty) the situation is, but you feel handicap and incapable of doing anything. Worse, you can't quite comprehend the whole lot. You kinda have the conscience but it takes you no where. You kinda have the voice but it's not vocal.
It gets a lot more frustrating seeing how things worsen before your eyes. Follow Malaysian news twitter accounts, then you get what I mean. The day DSAI sex video made to the news, my timeline was disgustingly filled with word 'sex'. Then the Kinabatangan MP sexist remark 'about women being the sex objects'. Then the never ending case of TBH, the controversial witness Ashraf something caught 'bloody' red handed watching porno instead of monitoring Teoh. What's going on over there, people? How did our 'Islamic' country fall into such perversion.
Also, the controversial Interlok novel. I thought it's over. I wish I've read the novel so I could really have an opinion about that. Anyway, I'm kinda with the idea that, if it's a part of your history no matter how bitter it was, you have to swallow it. At least, he didn't call 'your' ancestors apes. Darwin did. Nevertheless, a novel, or even theoretical and historical work can always have some misleading points. It's not a holy book after all. But why nobody makes a big fuss about the false story of Tariq bin Ziyad burning ships, written on a corner of the form 5 history text book?
I remember dad's remarks whenever I talk about history that I've learned at school, he would always go
"Sejarah yg hampa belajar kat sekolah tu bukan betul sangat. Semua nak bagi nampak cerita hebat"
Back then, I always thought 'how could it be in the text book and taught at school if it wasn't true?' But as I read and hear more, I see the truth in dad's disagreement...same goes to many other aspects of life, especially when it comes to religious practice. you know, like some rituals that you've been practicing all your life in a way that 'ustazah-kata-macam-ni' but later you discovered that it is not what it was. hmm...
I guess it's the matter of knowing that you can't really trust anything in this world. No book has an absolute immunity from error unless it's the holy book. It goes like the Chinese proverb; if you believe everything you read, don't read.
Haish... what a world to live in, perversion is ruining the county and the scholars are concerned about poco-poco. Bite me.
Extra: Internet is everything today, I think CM Lim Guan Eng is clever, winning people's heart by installing free wi-fi all over Penang. hahaa...