Vacuous Waxing

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum... 

fuh fuh *tiup tiup... kuis kuis habuk sikit*

Apa khabar orang kampung? Lama sudah tak berjumpa. Haha.. Saya di sini sihat-sihat saja, sekalipun semakin gagal membezakan terbit mentari dan senja.

Do you remember when we were young, when we have absolutely nothing to worry about? Well.... I don't. If I were to trace back my childhood memories, it'd most probably begin when I was 6. 

People say, you can't really remember what you were worrying yesterday, but I do remember some of those troublesome moments; like the anxiety of not knowing where to hide and drink my daily milk during my sister's wedding reception... they were telling me it's shameful for a 6 yr old to still drink from a baby bottle. Also, about the brother in law. I was very attached to my big sister and the thought of her getting married scared me.. it felt like someone's snatching her away from me, thence I plotted a murderous scheme. hahaa... the plan was to dig a deep narrow hole in front of the house, cover it up with.. well, something (ok, I don't remember exactly what it was then)... I'd direct the brother to the hole and when he falls into it, I'd pour sand and cement. (construction materials were always pretty accessible around the house). The plan wasn't executed of course, because a few days prior to the wedding, that awesome brother bought me a really huge set of colour pencils. yeah, I was bribed. Fullstops. 

Kecik-kecik ada hati nak buat jenayah! hish.

As we're growing up, we begin to worry about many other things... we worry about ourselves, people around us, either we hate or love them... some are very trivial, some are really important... and all of these years and years of worries or any sort of disturbing thoughts just never really go away. They pile up and transform into memories... which, you can eventually look back and laugh it off...but those worries that were accompanied with frozen anger became one of the worst sort of negative feeling; bitterness. 

Ok. That was the ugly side of it, On a different note... there's wisdom in everything. How do you know and be concerned about a matter if you're not worried about it? How do you know how much you really love a person if you're not afraid of losing them. and how can a man know the strength of his faith if he had never been tested?

We can't really get away from worries, can't we? It's a part of life... however, lets pray and try not be so affected by it... shall we? and always know where to turn to.. :)

"Oh Allah, I seek refuge with You from distress, grief, incapacity, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men”.

Dear ayah, I beseech Allah The Great, The Lord of all Throne to heal you. Ameen. May you get well soon.

I love you so much.