Thursday was somewhat momentous. ahaha.. that prolly sounds a bit too dramatic. Anyway, I had a second mid crit for my major project. One last public review before the final presentation in November. I was all nervous since the night before. I really shouldn't be for I've been doing project presentation for like almost five years till now, but somehow, I was indeed not quite myself. I had a restless night like a typical-night-before-crit, in which I would either had no sleep or sleep like a sheep jumping on a trampoline on his two feet. I mean, tidoq jaga-lena-jaga-lena....
Unlike many other students, I was asked by my supervisor to prepare slides presentation other than 3A0 posters that go on the wall. I didn't finish the slides until like 30 minutes before the crit session started. It added to my nervousness that I had never set up the built-in projector in the allocated studio room where we'll be presenting. Being the only person using it, it was all up to me to set it up and I couldn't do it earlier that 6pm since there was a class running in the room. I was worried, like what if the projector didn't work, what if I couldn't use my laptop but the provided computer in which my animation might not work properly etc etc. and out of all days, I made a wrong decision wearing a skirt on that day. Putting up 3A0 posters-vertically aligned on the wall turned out to be quite a challenge. I am petite. I had to panjat up and down to pin up the massive sheets on the wall. Luckily some friends did give a helping hand. and for some reasons the projector cables had to tangled up behind the pc table, leaving me crawling underneath like a spider in a skirt. ahhaaha.. imagine doing all of those dgn control 'ayu'nya. note to myself, don't wear a skirt for the next crit.
The presentation started at 6pm, I was the third last person on the list. Everyone was given 20 minutes to present their work plus getting feedback from the critics. My sv Neil wasn't there when the session began. I thought he would be maybe 20 or 30 mins late for he's not an RMIT staff. He had to come all the way from his office after work. He's prolly hungry and went to grab something for dinner first. He's quite old btw. kesian dia kalau lapaq. one presentation after another and kelibat Neil masih tidak kelihatan. The weather was bad. The sky has been very upset for the last couple of days, maybe Neil was stuck in the traffic or so I thought. The clock stroke 715 and he's still not there yet. I began to panic. The thought of presenting without my sv was devastating. None of the critics had a clue about my project. And I don't have any other sv-mate, I mean, some svs tutor a few students, but I'm the only Neil's student. Neil's the only person in the world who understands my project and every time other sv 'backup' their students in the presentation, I felt scared. oh! what would happen to me? I got no one to back me up, not that Neil definitely would, but I know he won't let me get abused by others. ahaha.. I texted him but he didn't reply. My calls were pickup my the voicemail. =(
I waited and waited. The pain of waiting, oh! heaven knows. I've became so anxious when the person before me (according to the list) was presenting. I was upset and didn't feel like presenting at all. But posters were up. the slides turned on, I had to go anyway, with or without Neil. I said to myself, 'hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel'...
As I braced up myself and ready to go, one of the critics told me that Neil had just called him and said he would be there in 30 mins or so. So they moved my presentation to the last. What happened was Neil's flight had just touched down from Sydney, the flight was delayed due to the weather condition. I received a text from Neil as well, saying the same. I don't know how to describe how it felt. But I was reminded by the moment when prophet Ibrahim placed the knife on prophet Ishmail vein for the sacrifice. Then Allah revealed that he has completed his task and replaced with a lamb. How relief was he, how light must his heart felt to not actually sacrificing his son. Maybe it seemed totally unrelated and irrelevant to you. But I was extremely relief and grateful. It felt like, sunshine after the rain. My heart and head felt light instantaneously.
Neil arrived. My presentation went quite well, alhamdulillah. and I'm hoping the final one will be the best of all. ameen.
That day I learned that, sometimes... Allah tests us like that. He made the most probable thing end up seemingly like it would never happen and gave us no other option but to move on with whats left on us. Like, having your supervisor to be there for your presentation is the most common expectation of any student. Never had I thought I would have to go without Neil, thus I was very unprepared. But there I went, almost crying and felt so down, but eventually redha that I had to present anyway... and right before I present, Neil walked through the same door I had been staring for the last three anxious hours of my life. and of course, he had his reason for being late. To have Neil coming straight away from the airport is a blessing. I am grateful. He must've been very exhausted after few days of out station works and all. Thank you Neil. you're my awesome supervisor!
Kita jangan bersangka buruk dengan Allah. We planned, but Allah is The Master Planner. As commonly said, if its meant to be, it will be... it's just the matter of time. Waiting can be dreadful but if you're pleased with whatever Allah has decreed upon you. you'll do just fine.
It's just the matter of time... ;)
Here's some snippets of my project btw. Hope it'll serve as your eye candies after my long icky post.
"what in the world are you designing Asriah?"
ahaha... I'll write up about my project later. insyaAllah. when the time is right ;)
p/s: Neil Masterton is an architect from ARM here's his profile.