mirpof

THE BITTERMAN'S LAST DAY He woke up in the morning and complaint how cold the weather is. His breakfast tasted bitter as he savored it along morning news on the newspaper and ipad. He cursed on the news, sent multiple tweets and facebook statuses speaking bad of the corrupt government and their stupid acts and the opposition coalition parties that never really win. “O man, ain’t the coffee sweet and the nasi goreng nice? It was your wife that cooked.” He honked the yellow sport car that took over him from the left lane. He wished he had a better car to race up. He called him ‘bastard’. He forgot how his mum always reminded him not to call anyone as such. The traffic jam irked him. He cursed again. He turned on the radio, they were playing love songs. He loathed love songs. It reminded him of his ex girlfriend who married a better looking and richer guy. He hated her. He hated love, but he too is married. “your eyes never lie, your wife too, is pretty… neither that your ears, ...

In my dream, I wrote something as awakening as this. beautifully sung. I wish I really were that talented. Still I wish that someday...  I'll write something worth singing, worth listening, and weight a little good in hereafter. Ameen.

"Woman covered herself, she became a riddle to man, in order to implant in his heart the desire for the riddle's solution... It is an unnatural love. If it were natural, the woman would be able to approach the man naked. But the naked woman is unattractive to the man. She may be able to arouse a man's love, but not to keep it" Adolf Loos

Sepetang hari ini, seruang muka bumi Allah basah. seorang hamba telah larut dalam indah, romantisma hujan petang. 20 minit, daripada usianya yang mungkin hanya dua puluh lima, atau mungkin tiga puluh, atau empat puluh, atau sehingga esok senja berlalu begitu sahaja... menghirup aroma tanah basah dan merenung tarian dedaun manja dari jendela kamarnya. Hati sebenarnya rindu... pada suatu masa, pada ketika dahulu... di saat dia tahu ke mana harus berlabuhnya rasa agung itu. semakin hari seolah jauh... seolah menjauh... seolah jauh... menjauh... seolah jatuh. Hujan masih tidak henti sekalipun langit diselimuti malam. seorang hamba masih mengenang sisa sisa usia ada. Mengapa begini dia lupa... mengapa jauh begini dia terbawa lara rajuk jiwa akan kekuatan rasa agung yang meruntun turun. mengapa dibiar rakus manusia menghina musnah rohani mulia yang pernah bertapak dalam dasar dada. mana pergi semuanya... mana pergi kekuatan yang bersemadi sekian lama menjadi intan... kini tidak bersinar...

Ayah has been quite unwell for the last few weeks. He had diabetes blood sugar level of 19, resulted in some type of glaucoma.  For a person who has such a minimum awareness of scientific and health knowledge, I do feel a bit useless when it comes to this kind of situation. It's always frustrating when I couldn't get my head around a matter that gravely concerns me. Well, surely I can ask google...it ain't that simple for me though, I always have a hard time understanding medical explanation due to my lack of such vocabulary. I need to educate myself a lot more when it comes to this. I should really do. (ok ok I'll go read about retinopathy after this...haha) Brother recently called, jokingly asked why didn't I come home to pay dad a visit. I wish I could. It adds to the frustration when you talked to almost every family member but neither of them could actually explain and clarify dad's condition. Maybe they were right, the family needs a doctor. anyone?. hahaa...