Monday, November 5, 2007

PUISI UNTUK AYAH

AYAH

Malam-malam yang kelam

Degil mata tidak mahu pejam

Dipasak anak mata pada atap berwarna suram

Direnung dinding kayu berselumbar tajam

Ditatap almari kelabu bercorak hitam

Dibolak balik badan di atas tilam

Ayah masih berjaga di larut malam

Semalam, ayah melakar sebuah kisah

Sekajang memoir bertinta darah

Seraut perjuangan menjadi sejarah

Namun, sejarah itu menjadi khazanah

Tersimpan di cerok rumah

Terkambus dan tetimbus dek tanah

Tanpa cangkul di tangan

Ayah mengali semula kenangan

Berputar ligat di enjin fikiran

Menyelak helai-helai perjuangan

Merungkai simpul-simpul pengorbanan

Mengusap luka-luka yang terkesan

Bukti cinta yang tak dimengertikan

Pada lewat usia meniti senja

Ayah menyaksi negara merdeka

Dari sebangsa kini tiga warna

Dari berbasikal kini berkereta

Dari tanah merah kini jalan raya

Dari rumah papan kini berbatu bata

Ayah kerut dahi tertanya-tanya

Apa ini benar-benar kita?

Pada lewat usia meniti senja

Ayah menyaksi anak-anak mendewasa

Dari dungu menjadi cikgu

Dari serba kurang menjadi pejuang

Dari kuli menjadi bos sendiri

Dari bertatih ke negeri orang putih

Ayah senyum bangga

Anak-anak ku berjaya

Ayah kerut dahi semula

Apa itu benar-benar mereka?

Ayah cuba pejam mata

Tapi matanya tidak tahu lena

Segala cerita menerka dan menerpa

Memenuhi ruang udara di sebuah rumah tua

Rumah itu terasa sunyi

Sunyi dan sepi tanpa bunyi

Kecuali detik jam yang hampir kehabisan bateri

Ayah pusing ke kanan dan ke kiri

Bagai terdengar anak-anak berlari

Bernyayi-nyayi memenuhi segenap ruang hati

Menangis sedih dan ketawa riang

Ah’ punyakah ingatan hanya pada ayah seorang?

Ayah tahu, mata itu memang begitu

Ayah rasa hatinya dibalut rindu

Rindu pada riuh hari-hari yang berlalu

Ayah juga tahu rindu agung untuk Dia yang satu

Mata tiada lagi dipaksa pejam

Kerana itu tidak mengundang tenang

Ayah ke pancur usang

Mengambil air sembahyang

Di ruang tamu sejadah dibentang

Dalam sujud yang tiada sudah

Ayah rangkul semua kisah

Menjadi doa penuh berserah

Seorang ayah di tikar sejadah

Tiada jemu tangan menadah

Air mata tumpah mencurah

Mengalir tenang di kedut wajah

ASR’ NOV 5TH,O7, 1:33 AM

MELBOURNE

Friday, November 2, 2007

Thursday, November 1, 2007

NOV 1ST....


Alhamdulillah... its nov 1st... whats so important about today? -secret- hahah... nothing..really.. its just...well, i have my final crit today...and Alhamdulillah.. this sem has ended without any injury... remember last sem? i got an eye patch due to super glue, i sliced my finger n nail n...cant remember... anyway.. i really thank Allah, the Most Merciful for helping n guiding me in every single thing ive done for this sem... the crit might not turn out da way it is without His help, my Most Merciful Lord, Allah Jalla wa 'Alla... u know what.. this is something that i really cherish... some people, they might not realize this... one of the greatest thing of being a Muslim... is the faith itself... the faith that we have upon Allah... and the feeling that, we have something which will always help us, something to rely on, something we can seek refuge and guidance when...even when we feel like we are at the bottom of the world....i was so nervous before presenting my work today..especially when i see some of my colleagues...i can say that.. the guest crit are pretty critical today... are they having a bad day??? haha.. i dunno... but, mashaAllah.. my Lord, He is there.. He helps me... i began with His name..with a little prayer... i feel a sudden calmness within my soul... i know that i have something which many of em' dont have... i have a weapon... prayer... (",) Alhamdulillah... the crit went so smoothly... the guest crit said that, i designed with 'heart' not just intellect... well?? is that a good thing? i ask my tutor n she said... well, there is nothing wrong with it...the truth is, i designed with the guidance of my Lord, Allah.. Alhamdulillah...its a beautiful day... it was raining... its a pretty warm spring day, but the rain has made it a little bit colder... but im still me... i love rainy days (i love rain more than a frog does, trust me!..haha)... look at how the rain falls from the sky... its just beautiful... im loving it... when i was a little girl... im kinda interested in drawings n paintings.. n always have a dream of me painting a beautiful portrait of a rainy day.. but.. i never come to the point where im able to draw a shiny day nicely..haha.. n obviously rainy day is even harder... yea..talking about rainy day.. there is one secret about me..but im about to reveal it now...haha.. i dont like to use umbrella... hahahha... i donno.. i love to feel the rain.. as it falls upon my face... it such a beautiful experienced... a great feeling of gratitude...i always find excuses not to use umbrella thou i have 2 umbrellas (one is partially broken n the other one, i bring it to the studio today.. but i forgot to use it n unintentionally leave it a the studio)...sometime i know its going to rain.. but i just lazily leave the umbrella at home... hahaha.. say im weird... but i juz think that.. the water that pour down from the sky is juz too beautiful n fantastic to avoid from...its one of the magnificent creation of my Lord, Allah Jalla wa 'Alla...one of the best day of my life is during my childhood.. it was a rainy day...i can say, a rainy week actually.. it had been raining for the whole week...then... i just cant help myself... i tell my mum that no one can stop me.. i want to feel the rain...(well, i begged my mum for a few days before..but she said no.. rain is intoxicated...owh Lord).. what a naughty n stubborn child..haha.. i juz dashed out from the home... n feel the rain!..hahah.. lucky i didnt catch a cold after that..Alhamdulillah.... well, actually... its such a personal sentimental thing... whenever the rain pours down... the sound, the smell, the coldness, the somberness... its a kind of things that subtle down my heart..its a mixture of feelings... i can say, if its raining at night, the effect is even stronger... impressed and stressed down by the mode, i just feel so calm n lonely... but thing is a lil bit different now... this kind of mode is even more beautiful n fantastic as it draws me closer to the greatest remembrance for a heart...it makes me sink into my feelings...i remember my Lord...Allah Jalla wa 'Alla... whenever drops of rain subtly pour down onto my face...n when i look around, i see the dews dripping from the leaves... MashaAllah... My Lord is amazing..its beautiful... Allah is beutiful n He loves beauty... if His creation is so beautiful... think about The Creator...O' Lord.. I bear witnessed that there is no gods but Allah... but sometimes.. when its raining more than never... its pouring cats n dogs.. heavily... plus with lighting n thunder... its a kind of fear within me... not that im afraid of thunder n storm...(well..perhaps i feel a little bit shaky) but...it makes me think more about the Hour... verily...the day will come... im reading a book by Al Hafiz ibn Kathir about great trials n tribulation... subhanallah.. the prophecies of the Hour... this world is coming to an end... O'Lord... forgive me, my family and my brothers n sisters in Islam... its nov 1st- it used to be something else for past year... but today, i have my final crit n a beautiful rainy day...n..i can still hear the sound of the water dripping outside the window......