mirpof

Some people like to tell stories, although most of the time the story that they tell is a mere retelling. Some like to write, stories that derive from their experience of maybe pure imagination. Anyhow, I admire people who can write or tell or write and tell stories wonderfully. My husband for example is a good writer, in a sense that he writes, although I might not fancy all of his writings and most of his stories are all unfinished, oh let me rephrase that, 'are yet to finish', I find him wonderful as a writer because he always manage to put his imagination into words beautifully. He manages to bring people into the realm of his imagination. I see myself as an imaginative person as well, I imagine all sort of things that you people don't want to know, yet I do not have the ability to always talk my imagination out, let alone write them and maybe or sadly the fact is most of the times I am just plain lazy. eheh. Sometimes, my husband talks about the stuff that he wants to...

Sejenak di rumah bonda lewat hari raya yang lalu, di suatu pagi saat merenung ke luar jendela lama (sbrnya tgkap baru sbb baru renovate tukar bingkai, tp lokasi sama) yang telah berapa org 'aku' menembus pandang di situ, aku bertanya pada diri, siapa aku sebenarnya... Kebelakangan ini, media menyiarkan tentang keganasan dan gambar-gambar yang menganggu tentang situasi di Raba'a, Mesir, terus jiwa semakin terganggu, melihat senyum para syuhada, melihat hancur tubuh manusia, Allah... kerdilnya aku rasakan. Terasa murahnya nyawa, dekatnya mati, lemahnya upaya dan syaitanya manusia. Aku menangis dan meratapi situasi di sana, spt saudara kita yg jauh adanya, aku kirim hanya dua'a. Aku masih mencari diri, Lahirnya aku dalam sebuah keluarga yang sudah 'kembali' mendekati agama, aku diajari solat sedari umur 7 tahun, ayah sedia pukul sekiranya enggan. 19 tahun menunaikan solat, belajar semula tatacara yang lebih sempura melalui buku sifat solat nabi karanga...

Reality unfolds not the way we were often told. All in all, Allah knows best.

There is a huge different between rightfully fulfilling a task through the power/position given and fully but merely exercising power over a situation . Yes I am stating the obvious. Although, the one who commits the second often claims to be doing the former. In the eighth month of my job, I was thrown in at the deep end.  I was assigned a rather difficult and complicated task.  But, Alhamdulillah, I'm not alone. I have a good mentor at the office. Sometimes, what I like about my job is meeting people. Although, most of the times, it gives me headache. By virtue of meeting, knowing and learning about others, it tells how different we all are. How we all have our own eccentricities, that sometimes we don't even realise but seen through others' eyes. Many of us who seem to be working in the same field, going through pretty much the same routine, be at the same place, speak the same language can always have different intention, dreams and mea...

As I overheard their conversation, re-analyse their jokes, or the remarks they sometimes nonchalantly give in a circumstance I could have never expected, I know now, that there is wisdom in what is made obliged upon us women... which is to cover, what should be covered. ladies, dress decently.

Last Saturday, There are a few things that have been troubling my mind lately. In attempt to get out of my troublesome feelings, I went out to a book store in a quest for a good book. I was halfway through reading Tess of D'Urbavilles, a tragic love story that eats up so much emotion in reading it, thus I decided to look for something more philosophical or poetic, or something on the other side of romanticism. But the opposite happened... The Relationship Books. urgh, my bed sheet looks so ugly in this photo After scavenging hither and thither around the store, I couldn't find a single book that suits my early preference and I settled for the least expected book, although the book has long been in my to-be-read list, I do not have a plan to read it so soon. But somehow, I bought it. I actually bought a combo pack, one is Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus and the other one is Mars and Venus staring over.  I've heard about the book so long ago, becam...

Although I believe my blog isn't a tv series which everyone can't miss and impatiently wait for every next new episode and most of you readers, (if they were any) might only read this blog by accident or perhaps in circumstance when there ain't any other things to read, I still feel obliged to write what I said I would do in the previous post. I believe, for every muslim out there, who still believes in this religion, or for just anyone who behold onto a religion, there is a soft spot for God's words.  Yusoof is a consolation for a number of reasons. here's a few of the obvious ones.  1. The story, is easy to remember. Out of the many surahs in the quran, surah Yusoof as far as I knew is the only surah (correct me if I'm wrong) that tells a single story from the very beginning till the end. . Thus, it makes the whole story easy to understand and remember especially for those who struggle to learn arabic like me. When you understand something, i...

I had long favour the Yusoof more than the other, and I ask Allah to pardon me for that.  For a person, who has only basic knowledge of Arabic, I rely a lot in the tafseer to understand the general meaning of the ayahs in the Quran. I am not a hafizah, like most of you or maybe worse, I find memorising quran is a real challenge. It was easier as a child. I remember memorising surah Al-A'la just by listening to my dad reciting it quite frequently in solah al-maghrib.  There was a phase of my life which I had dedicated to listening to the audio of tafseer, sometimes while doing work etc, I regret it didn't become a habit. But alhamdulillah, it had got me the interest of reading the meaning of the quran, instead just reciting the ayahs. You know what I mean, if you're not an arabic speaker like me. This article is a perfect read. It is what I put into practice every Ramadhan, when I should be doing that all year round. such a shame!. I wish I had been more det...

Assalamualaikum readers, It's the eighth day of Ramadhan today, how is everyone so far. I wish you all a blessing month and most of all I wish Allah make it light for our body to maximize our ibadah as our heart remains straight on the intention to please Him. My dear readers, How does that feel if you were accused for a crime you did not commit? Will you be mad for the wrong claim made against you? how about vice versa? as in... if you were assumed to be a very good (or should I say pious) person when you know at the very deep of your heart, that you struggle to become that very person, and your are just not there yet? Would you stand adamant for false flattering comments? or would you say thank you and act accordingly? What is the benchmark of hypocrisy? I sometimes choose to say thank you in respect to other's opinion especially the people I've just met. But it often leaves me with a never ending guilt. It ain't their fault. bu...

"Say: "O 'Ibadi ( My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins) Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Holy Quran; 39:53)

It occurs that what worries us the most isn't really about not getting an opportunity to do something that we wish to do, but rather the decision we made upon every chance presented before us. We human, worry about consequences, for it is a lot easier accepting the fact that something is not meant to be ours given the matter remains out of reach. But once an effort was made... we worry about not getting things right or achieving what we had imagined we would achieve before the decision was made ... we human, worry about failure. A famous quote says that... “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” Yet.... There is only a single 'what if...' if we denounce a chance and that is.. "what if I had taken the chance to..."  but it would be hundreds of them.... if we had walked the path.... "what if I did not say that.... "what if I took it slo...

Bismillah~ There had been too many unpublished posts for the last couple of weeks. whilst writing this, my heart is wishfully praying that this one would be a finished post albeit part of me is confidently saying..'no, you're not gonna make it, u don't really have much to babble about tonight, u're not gonna talk about mat sabu or prof zainal kling, not even commenting on somalia or even 9/11 anniversary...u'll fall asleep halfway through the writing...' oh! that monologue was prolly unnecessary, a bit too much for an intro yea? So how are you dear readers (if there were any laa)... blogging often feels like throwing words into space relying on the luck of random projectile motions, wondering or maybe more accurately hoping there'd be some wanderers with too much time in hands aka stalkers, stumbling upon it and subconsciously reading through all these words that may or may not carry any meaning to his or her life. How is life getting on for everyone out the...

You do not know how much what you say on fb or twitter can affect others. or at least make others think. for example, a brother on my twitter tweeted; "a sister's reading Quran on the tram, mashaAllah" This left me pondering about people's perception seeing me reading Quran on a tram. I don't do it frequently, in fact I rarely carry Quran around since I use iphone for there's an apps for it, but now that its Ramadhan, just like many of us I try my best to increase my Quran reading as much as I can... and travelling over an hour to and fro almost everyday gives me quite a chance to flip through my little holy book. I used not to mind what people think, especially the non-muslims. I sometimes like how that sort of thing kinda become a conversation starter. but to make 'an impression' on other muslim, is the least I wish to do. To me...it's some kind of guilt to present yourself better than what you are. I feel ashamed if people had given a better im...

I used to write little notes to myself when I'm in distress and put them at random places, just wherever I feel like hiding it. such as in the deep of a drawer, in the pocket of my organizer, in my arts box, between books or just pin it to the soft board.... It cheers me up when I discover them after sometime. hahaa. It occurs that... when you're down, the only person who can lift you up again, is yourself... and only Allah Jalla wa A'la can give you the strength you need. I just found one today. It can be quite tah-apa-apa... but hey, I made myself smile today. hahaa... *narcissist much!*

Sepetang hari ini, seruang muka bumi Allah basah. seorang hamba telah larut dalam indah, romantisma hujan petang. 20 minit, daripada usianya yang mungkin hanya dua puluh lima, atau mungkin tiga puluh, atau empat puluh, atau sehingga esok senja berlalu begitu sahaja... menghirup aroma tanah basah dan merenung tarian dedaun manja dari jendela kamarnya. Hati sebenarnya rindu... pada suatu masa, pada ketika dahulu... di saat dia tahu ke mana harus berlabuhnya rasa agung itu. semakin hari seolah jauh... seolah menjauh... seolah jauh... menjauh... seolah jatuh. Hujan masih tidak henti sekalipun langit diselimuti malam. seorang hamba masih mengenang sisa sisa usia ada. Mengapa begini dia lupa... mengapa jauh begini dia terbawa lara rajuk jiwa akan kekuatan rasa agung yang meruntun turun. mengapa dibiar rakus manusia menghina musnah rohani mulia yang pernah bertapak dalam dasar dada. mana pergi semuanya... mana pergi kekuatan yang bersemadi sekian lama menjadi intan... kini tidak bersinar...

I'm bored.  It's been pretty mundane these few days. my day pretty much goes like...... bed. internet. food. books. internet. books. books. food (optional) books. internet. books. food (optional) internet books. bed. (of course there's solat, shower and whatnot in between)  Anyway, since my-genetically-tiny-however-bi-lids-eyes refuse to stare at those frayed pee colored pages of The Secrete Scripture, I'm feeding my boredom with writing this post which in it's nonsensical way kinda make me feel like doing something other than the aforementioned activities, though technically I'm on the internet.  I visited my tumblr yesterday, after long forgotten months... it left me thinking that we human, at some unpredictable situations are prone to suffer temporary psychotic disorder. was I psychotic? It wasn't so much about what's written there, it's more to what I did, writing down and admitting such deep pathetic thoughts and let people read it. thou...

At times, you wonder about your own behavior… but when you’re back to where you came from… you know that there is nothing weird about the way you are…and if it’s in the blood, changing it would be a lifelong dream. Apparently, no one loves snide remarks. Especially when it’s thrown just in your face… funny jokes that ain’t funny… laughter and giggles that crawl into you like poisonous bugs, ripping your flesh of the bones. But hey, sarcasm works wonders when nothing else matters…. And very often, it leaves you something to live with… something like a derogatory remark about yourself… hahaa… aside from trust, self-confidence is very expensive. …and many times in my life, I could barely tell the difference between vices and virtues… I am forever small, looking up to all the great people around me. Life is good.

The good thing about having a close friend who happens to be in the same situation as yours is you can open up to each other and talk about it like you both are reading the same page of a story book. Anyway, we girls open up to each other most of the time. ******** Girls dream. Most of us grew up reading fairy tales, in which wedding is always the happy ending… a prince will do everything while the princess just has to lay somewhere sleeping, combing her hair, eating poisoned apple or cleaning a stepmother house. Even in Malay folklore, the girl will always be someone who is innocent, naïve, bullied, born with a fish, has a veggie name, and kind, well stupidly kind and beautiful. So we grew up dreaming… hoping, eventually at the end of the day… a prince or a gentleman will come knocking on our door… after fighting dragons and all sort of strange creatures, sweep we off our feet… marry us and live happily ever after. Women understood. Most of us are not princesses. We were not...

As soon as you started talking to people about your situation or anything that’s burdening you. You’ll realize you’re not alone. God created each of us unique but at the same times have so much in common so that we could learn from one another. I’m not a big fan of generalization for I never see two situations as equal. There is no one size for everything. But I do believe as much as we think others don’t understand us, they do have things in their mind that could relate to what is in ours… and as much as I don’t fancy generalization, I use it all the times just because it makes sense to many people rather than just myself. It won’t be me not having so much thoughts mounting in head. I always try to focus on doing one thing at a time, but it’s just as hard as trying to quit being a nocturnal…what I’m saying, it’s not impossible.. It’s just so freaking hard. If my head is not a mess, it prolly got nothing in. I’m a multitasker… instead of keeping on complaining why can’t I focus bl...

What a life would’ve been without twitter or facebook or even this blog. Writing has been my salvation since I know how to write. Seriously, I don’t really remember how it all started but all that I knew, I kept diaries since I was in primary school. I composed poetries when I was ten and enjoy reading since kindergarten. I don’t really write for people to read. I write for my own personal reasons, I write to divert my negative energy into something less destructive. Written words can’t be harmful if they were left unread. .. that’s why diaries have always been my best friends. Technology somehow has changed that. I don’t want to talk about how people these days have split personalities between their real and virtual life. Most thoughts are read, at least by a few… and with the mushrooming social platforms, people talk more, in fact more than in their actual life… and I talk more than I used to do, sometimes to an extent of disclosing unnecessary personal stuffs. <-like sayin...