mirpof

I posted this photo on instagram, but I had to put it up here as well, because it's just plain beautiful and I want to remember it. On days when I had some extra time to read my old post, I wish to come across this photo and look at it and smile, the way it makes me smile today. That's my ayah and his friends in the photo.Ayah is in green baju melayu and white ketayap . If you know my dad, he is not all cuddly and affectionate. I meant with hugs and kisses, unlike mum, I think mums in general like to smooch her kids. Its normal for dad to show a rather stoical characteristic.  Anyways, I guess other than wisdom, aging also brings up the tender side of a person. Back to the photo, it was taken on my wedding day. My ayah is hugging his friends, that's a real brotherly hug, you can sense sincerity by just looking at the picture.. it's so beautiful... a friend said it's cute and I have to agree. It is cute. But I guess if anyone should ask me, how do you de...

Baby baby baby oooh.... No, I don't really listen to Bieber, I suppose, that is the only line out of all his songs that I know of. Now people, I have an announcement to make.  We have a new member of the family! yay! and she is so God-knows adorable! The family hasn't had any baby for like 6 years, the youngest one was in standard one. Now she was born, everyone is really excited. I am excited! ahaha. and it has been 7 days but she hasn't got a name. While the parents are being indecisive, her 7 yr old brother decided that she should just be called " baby ". She is baby Baby! *cuteness overload* Babies are cute. God made them cute and lovable. So we love them, even when they cry, even when they poo. Should they make a mess, we'll clean after them, feed them when they are hungry, hug them to sleep and kiss them all over the place, sing them the sweetest lullaby, forgive them when they get on our nerves, dress them with the best clothes ...

I'm very busy right now, but can't help to share a little story about my family.  My parents live next to my late grandparents, on my father's side. When my grandpa was sick, she took care of him, until his last breath. Then, my grandma... also, until she breath her last.  A few years prior to that, she took care of her mother, the mother that raised her, I'm pretty sure if she ever met her own mother, she'd do the same... I was young, I don't remember that grandmother very well. But I never forget how she suap makan and mandikan her every day. She also cared for my dad's half blood aunt.. and a few other people I can hardly remember. They all lived with us. I remember, when dad renovated our house, she reminded him to built a dedicated room for the sick... which now has become my room. Mum sometimes said, "I took care of many elderlies until Allah took them away from me, I hope Allah won't abandon me when I'm old" It occurs to me how...

Ayah has been quite unwell for the last few weeks. He had diabetes blood sugar level of 19, resulted in some type of glaucoma.  For a person who has such a minimum awareness of scientific and health knowledge, I do feel a bit useless when it comes to this kind of situation. It's always frustrating when I couldn't get my head around a matter that gravely concerns me. Well, surely I can ask google...it ain't that simple for me though, I always have a hard time understanding medical explanation due to my lack of such vocabulary. I need to educate myself a lot more when it comes to this. I should really do. (ok ok I'll go read about retinopathy after this...haha) Brother recently called, jokingly asked why didn't I come home to pay dad a visit. I wish I could. It adds to the frustration when you talked to almost every family member but neither of them could actually explain and clarify dad's condition. Maybe they were right, the family needs a doctor. anyone?. hahaa...

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum...  fuh fuh *tiup tiup... kuis kuis habuk sikit* Apa khabar orang kampung? Lama sudah tak berjumpa. Haha.. Saya di sini sihat-sihat saja, sekalipun semakin gagal membezakan terbit mentari dan senja. Do you remember when we were young, when we have absolutely nothing to worry about? Well.... I don't. If I were to trace back my childhood memories, it'd most probably begin when I was 6.  People say, you can't really remember what you were worrying yesterday, but I do remember some of those troublesome moments; like the anxiety of not knowing where to hide and drink my daily milk during my sister's wedding reception... they were telling me it's shameful for a 6 yr old to still drink from a baby bottle. Also, about the brother in law. I was very attached to my big sister and the thought of her getting married scared me.. it felt like someone's snatching her away from me, thence I plotted a murderous scheme. hahaa... the plan was to dig ...

I fancy mum and dad's little talk in the morning, how they both sit on the garden swing... just talking. Mum, to her own interest- whenever in that mini garden of hers, she'd talk about her flower plants, one by one. she does it so naturally that you could tell she knows every single plant like the back of her hand. Dad would listen, attentively, though I know, he's not so much into it... I bet mum knows it, as much as dad tries not to show it... because after awhile, she'll ask about dad's vegetation. Oh, they both have green fingers...! There's something wonderful about elderly couples... it's sort of the evidence of, -what's the saying?- "Time flies, love endures." I want a love like that, a love that lasts. Ameen.

Friday. There he is, approaching 40 and preaching about what's in his name. Time. We are all bounded by the most magical matter of all. Time. It's the witness of faults and truths, the evidence that proves. Time. It changes you, changes me, changes us. Time. Time. it's magical, mysterious and sacred, controlled only by the Greatest Power. Allah S.W.T. no matter what year or age. all that I want is to be a better person. Ameen. and I thank Allah for having someone I can always look up to. Happy Birthday brother. (though I know, not so much of your thing wishing birthday and all..hee)

I get a free hug almost everyday. I get a hug from a cute little girl who likes to say 'alaa tomei tomei tomei' when she watches Garfield. This girl can stay up until 2-3 am in the morning watching cartoon... drinking cold ice tea and eating bahulu. Her dad called her Garfield for always lazing around, watching tv. She speaks American english, but very lazy to read. She cries if you forced her to study, albeit getting no. 1 in her class. She is also lazy to speak.  If you asked her too much, she'll say 'I don't knowwww... ' until you force her to answer....  then she'll say something, which always begin with 'oh yeah, I remember' What a weird little niece I have... living in her own small world. Ibtihal.

Oh... seperti seorang ibu melihat anak-anaknya membesar... girangnya hati melihat tulip-tulip ku berkembang segar dan mekar... ah, sudahlah... drama! but they are really pretty, aren't they? dan dah terlebih-lebih kembang pun.... sukanyaaaa! ^.^ lepas tu, ada satu kuntum tu mcm aiskrim... ni yang main petik tak tahu spesies tu... sekali ada yang unik ni... rasa macam warna putih lagi cantik, tp sbb dia unik, lalu dia menarik perhatian... do people dry tulips? I tried drying roses before and they look pretty good... maybe should try with tulips... ngehee... I don't mind living in a room full of flowers... dried or fresh.... they make me happy... btw, I'm loving this retro/lomo camera apps on iPhone.... who needs a lomo when you have an iPhone... hahaaa! hmph! but I still want a polaroid.... maybe I should buy one before going back for this summer holiday... my nephew Talhah must be very excited about that... OK... buat kerja, nanti nak pasang cenderahati ut...

Sometimes I wonder if I would still blog after I go back for good since it always turns out that I don’t really blog whenever I return to Malaysia. I’m back in Melbourne again. Despite everything I said about this place. I'm always thankful that I’m studying here. 8 hours is long enough, can’t imagine going further. Let alone going back during a short winter break like I just did. Haha… However, regardless how good Melbourne is, coming back here is never easy. It is not the place, it’s the transition. Travelling is tiring. Yes, like yesterday, I had to take two flights, one from Penang to KL, then KL to Melb, it is a lot more tiring for someone like me who could barely sleep in a plane. That’s why I enjoy traveling during the day and taking a window seat. I enjoy day dreaming while staring at those fluffy white clouds. Haha.. Weather change changes everything. I had never went back during winter before. So that was my first time experiencing an abrupt change from a...

Indeed, Allah is above all things... We planned and we tried, but sometimes things just don't go our way... As human, we are by creation subjected to tests... Yes, the eyes that see or the mind that understands is never equal to the heart that feels or the soul that experiences... I'm worst at giving advices as I'm afraid that I myself would not act accordingly... But I pray for you... to be strong and brave... I know that you have a very kind-heart and how much you are willing to give, but do fight for your right... p/s: I'm so sorry that I can't be there for you...

Oh, my dear nephew is enrolling to Maahad today. Oh, I could see his murky face when he kissed me goodbye… Sorry dear, makcik tak hantaq, malas nak menyempit kereta… the thought of being sent away from home for the first time must be dreadful… oh, I know it well… masuk asrama memang tak best. Anyways, you’re a boy, you must do well… It reminds me of my first day being away from home. I rushed for a shower the moment I saw my ayah’s car left the school yard. It was still early for a late noon shower, but all I wanted was just to cry (out of anyone sights, since that I found shower is a great place to shed my tears)… haha… I couldn’t sleep at nights, found it so hard to make friends and follow the rules… For a year, I scribbled everywhere a note ‘ adik nak balik, adik benci asrama ’… wishing that my parents would read and get me out of there… hahaa… Oh, I made it through though… Eventually, a bunk bed did give me some good sleeps, I made lot of friends….oh, but I never really succeede...

Happy Chinese New Year, Mak! Ahaaa.... bu xing...bu xing!!! That will seriously upset my mak... The worst thing to mention in my family is to question about my mak's biological parents. I know, it might not be the 'Chinese' part that would really upset her, but the fact that she was adopted. My mak lived a hard life before, she had once told me that her foster brother was so mean, teasing her that she is ' anak bela '.. owh God, that wasn't teasing, it was insulting... However, i can hardly hide my curiosity, since i know my mak was adopted (I think I was around 14 at that time), I always wish that someday, i could find her biological parents...well, it wasn't just me.. my brothers n sister were once wanted to look for it, but there was an objection from ayah.. I suppose, ayah doesnt want mak to be upset...and, he was right too.. that wouldn't change a thing... but, well.. we are just curious... Anyway..I love my mak for whoever she is... knowing her pa...

BISMILLAH.. Ceritanya begini, sudah berkali cuba menulis entri, namun entah, entri liat sekali terhasil, punya idea tak punya kata, punya kata tak punya makna. Kakanda tersayang telah pun berangkat pulang, pastinya dia tak sabar bertemu suami tersayang, moga dirimu selamat terbang pulang. Hari demi hari, dipenuhi berita sakit hati dan sungguh aku benci..sungguh Si bangsat Israel tak pernah berhenti membunuh mati saudaraku dan Amerika durjana sungguh tak berguna. Aku turut tawar hati dengan Obama, perlantikan orang disekelilingnya sungguh mengambarkan mereka semua sama. Alangkah hingusannya aku menaruh harapan pada dia. Mulanya terpanggil untuk membeli buku tulisannya, membaca cerita tentang dia, namun..sudahla...mungkin sesudah dia meninggal dunia menjadi sejarah, baru aku baca, itupun jika aku masih ada. Semalam habis sudah buku cerita 'Meena'...seperti biasa aku gemar cerita benar tentang manusia, cerita karut rekaan..erm..mungkin jika aku punya masa lebihan...autobiografi Me...

"they flew to UK a couple of days ago and I'm dreadfully missing her..ibtihal"

Kueh pau??!! Thanx Bro. The best thing of a holiday is to be with my love ones. When my family gathers, its the bestest moment in my entire life. I love mum's sugarless tea. I love our chit chat, I love when my big sisters laugh over silly things, I love my big bros' silly jokes, I love hearing them yelling at their children, I love pretending being angry at my nephews and nieces when asking them to take bath, I love the cracky sound of the nutshells, I love the teka-teki, i love the old days stories which they told, I love the entire things about family gathering. "Then which of the blessing of your Lord will you both deny?" (ArRahman) .....Alhamdulillah....

Terasa lama tak ke temu, aku di hutan batu memburu cita-cita yg entah bila kan bertamu dan kau di lautan ilmu melayari perjuangan penuh liku...Pada sejenak pertemuan lalu, ku rangkul sebakul ilmu dan pesanmu yang sempat ku jala di teluk bicara antara kita..kau kakandaku... ku coret citra tentang dirimu sekalipun aku sebenarnnya tidak cukup tahu... Lahirmu di cerok desa bukan di sibuk kota...Kau putera pertama buat keluarga...Ibu bilang kau luar biasa...tapi aku tidak tahu mengapa...Sungguh, ibu itu lebih kenal anaknya...bila aku mendewasa, maka aku sendiri bilang, kau kekandaku, kau luar biasa... Seawal sang mentari menjengah diri, sealur cahaya merangkak di kaki langit...kau sudah berdiri...ke rumah tuhan kau bertamu, mencari secebis kekuatan untuk bekalan sepanjang jalan... Siang hari, hari-hari, hari minggu... kau memerah minda mencari idea...tiada cuti atau ruang henti...tika mana idea bertandang, saat itu kau berjuang... Sungguh, kau seorang pejuang..kendatipun bukan parang dan se...