Monday, September 24, 2007

PUISI LAGI

PENAT

Sesat di rimba penuh ranjau

Janggal pada redup semuanya hijau

Rindu pada lampu kota berkilau-kilau

Bosan, benci, sakit hati bagai nak keriau

Kejut budaya rimba

Asing, lebih dari sumbang si kera

Memang rasa diri sebatang kara

Bicara: Ah! Ini hanya mula

Tamatnya entah bagaimana

Sedang yang dirasa hanya seksa

Pohon besar, akarnya menjalar-jalar bak ular

Biar batang boleh dibuat bersandar

Tapi tersadung lalu bercalar-balar

Aduh! Pedihnya bagai dikelar-kelar

Bedebah! Mau saja ditebang dan dibakar

Bicara: Sabar! Sabar!

Bila matahari tenggelam

Malam pastinya hitam

Datanglah nyamuk menerkam

Mujur bukan harimau membaham

Kaki lenguh, urat terseliuh

Sesaat mengeluh

Sesaat mengaduh

Badan hanyir bau peluh

Sudah, jangan nak mencemuh

Tunggu saja menjelang subuh

Ada cahaya dapat menyuluh

ASR’22092007- 11 Ram 1428, Melbourne


*herm..puisi kali ini temanya lain sikit dari tema2 biasa posts kat blog ni..huhu.. ni sekadar monolog dalaman seorg pelajar archi yg kerjanya bertimbun...kerja design yg begitu byk... puluhan drawings belum siap..bila buat asyik silap...penat la jugak! huuhu...

Saturday, September 22, 2007

TETAMU SENJA

Kita datang ini hanya sebagai tetamu senja
Bila cukup detik kembalilah
Kita kepadanya
Kita datang ini kosong tangan dada
Bila pulang nanti bawa dosa bawa pahala

Pada tetamu yang datang dan
Kenal jalan pulang
Bawalah bakti mesra kepada
Tuhan kepada Insan
Pada tetamu yang datang
Dan lupa jalan pulang
Usahlah derhaka pula
Pada Tuhan kepada insan

Bila kita lihat manusia lupa tempat
Atau segera sesat puja darjat
Puja pangkat
Segera kita insaf kita ini punya kiblat
Segera kita ingat kita ini punya tekad

Bila kita lihat manusia terbiar larat
Hingga mesti merempat ke laut biru
Ke kuning darat
Harus kita lekas sedar penuh pada tugas
Harus kita tegas sembah
Seluruh rasa belas

Kita datang ini satu roh satu jasad
Bila pulang nanti bawa bakti padat berkat
Kita datang ini satu roh satu jasad
Bila pulang nanti bawa bakti padat berkat

~ A. Samad Said

Friday, September 21, 2007

Ampuniku...ya Tuhan...

Agak seketika smenjak post yg lalu....dan hari ini.. aku kembali menatap ruang blog ini... kembali mencoret cebisan2 rasa... moga ada redha dlm lena dan jaga...
Ramadhan... ramadhan ini ramadhan pertama aku disini.. suasana baru...dan yang penting... tekad yang baru... sesegar tekad yang ada.. ku pohon pdNya teguh jiwa ...bagai baru semalam segalanya bermula.. dan hari ini.. atas kurnia usia drNya..aku masih menelusuri denai2 payah dan susah demi esok yg lebih cerah... hanya padaMu ya Allah..ku sandar tekad dan harapan... suatu imbauan pd pengisian ramadhan...kisah jahilliyah.. ya... Jahilliyah.. bukanlah jahilliyah pd rangka masa yang merujuk pd masyarakat arab sebelum kedatangan islam.. ttapi jahilliyah yg tumbuh hidup dan bersarang dlm jiwa...menjadi sebati dgn hati dan diri...nauzubillah...
sejenak pada hari-hari lalu hidupku... betapa aku mensiakan nikmat usia yang ada...jahilliyah ku pada tingkah dan kata... astaghfirullah...ampuniku ya Allah...

Jahilliyah- apa baja yg ku tabur hingga begitu subur tumbuh dlm jiwaku hingga berat nan sarat untuk ku hambat.. bahkan liat nyawa untuk ku bunuh...jawapan biasa lg bershaja... 'aku mangsa keadaan..mangsa pada serangan minda yang tak ku sedar.. dan aku hanya mangsa...' hah... bodohlah kau wahai jiwa.. membiar diri menjadi mangsa sedang kau tahu pilihanya ada... bodohlah kau wahai jiwa... akur pada keadaan sedang taatmu harusnya pada tuhan... bodohlah kau wahai jiwa...mengaku kalah sedang usaha mu tiada selangkah...nikmat mata kau persia pd cerita2 dusta di kotak kaca, kau hala pd sudut2 ruang yg harus kau tunduk pndang... kau hidang dengan indah dunia yg sementara...sedang mata itu bakal ditnya... bakal menatap tuhannya.... airmta tumpah pd secalar luka kerna manusia...sedang doamu kontang skalipun dosamu bergantang... nikmat dengar kau jamu dengan lagu2 hina kisah cinta manusia melanggar susila, pd suara2 sumbng penyair kufar dan fitnah2 manusia ingkar kau sandar dengar....sedang ayat2 tuhanmu lebih indah dr syair dan lagu...nikmat lidah kau khianat pd ucap yg tiada manfaat...pd alunan kata nista yg mencerca... pada bicara yg mengundang dosa... sedang kekok mengalun indah ayat2 tuhanmu..sedang tiada mampu mendebat tatkala agamamu difitnah hebat... tiada mampu tegar pada yg benar...terlalu sukar melafaz ampun atas dosa yang bertimbun... dan.. segumpal darah..seruang rongga didadamu..kau biar tidur lena..tiada diisi ruangnya... tiada dihadirkan pd tindak dan kata... wahai jiwa.. rugi lah dirimu jika kau terus begitu... ya..jiwa yang bangun mula sedar dan segar... aku bukan mangsa..bukan juga hamba kepada sesiapa.. aku adalah hamba Tuhanku..pemilik segala singahsana.. penaung takhta segala takhta...tiada lagi mahu terjerat pada cabang2 laknat.. pd sakibaki jahiliiyah yg memusnah...

semalam.. suatu kisah kelam dan hitam.. dan hari ini.. mendungnya masih ku rasa.. namun suluh sinar yg bermula..terbitkan sekelumit cahaya..menghambat reda kabut2 semalam....alhamdulillah...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

PUISI

RINDU

Rindu ini luar biasa

Sendat menyesak dada

Rindu ini luar biasa

Hadirnya dengan cinta

Rindu ini luar biasa

Syadunya segenap ruang jiwa

Rindu ini luar biasa

Bukan sekadar sedetik rasa

Rindu ini pada Tuhanku

Yang pernah ku menjauh suatu ketika dahulu

Rindu ini pada Tuhanku

Yang bicaranya menusuk kalbuku

Rindu ini pada Tuhanku

Yang kurniaNya tiada jemu

Rindu ini pada Tuhanku

Yang akhirnya akan menjemputku

ASR ‘07

Monday, September 10, 2007

BE ALIVE OR DIE TOMORROW.. I WISH...

  1. i can see a great gesture of mujaddids and mujahids who promised a great future of this holy religion...As it says in the hadith:"Allah shall raise for this Umma at the head of every century a man who shall renew (or revive) for it its religion" (Sunan Abu Dawud, Kitab al-Malahim, ch. 1)...which, i can say.. this gesture has already begun and its visible to my eyes... Alhamdullillah...i might not live long enough to see Islam rises again, control the earth and ruled by a great khalifah..(we don't even have any khalifah at the moment)...but..as long as its already began... there is a promise...
  2. and i want to be one of the mujahidah who strives in Allah's path and for the sake of His religion.
  3. i can see Palestine liberated and Al-Quds becomes a free sanctuary for every Muslim's soul.
  4. i can walk anywhere on the earth and people will respect and be friend with me as i am a Muslim... not just a human being...sometimes, even with a Muslim, they hardly be friend in the cause of religion.. but it rather be due to nationality or maybe same course, same language, same studio....no wonder, sometimes...thou a born-Muslim might treat me equally as other friends of his or hers who are non-Muslim...(ada la sorg tu in my studio- to qilah, mas n oya----> u guys know what I'm saying...hahah)
  5. i can sleep less at night and perform more devotional prayers... is it just me who find it is really hard to wake up one third of night...??? be deaf or dead..the alarm clock is soundless... tried so many times, but it hardly comes to a success unless it is a nightmare which shakes me up from my deep sleep or..i go to bed at 8pm...huh..sigh..
  6. haa..this is a really important thing to me... i wish..i can see qilah put on hijjab...(",) i mean, permanently..not just for Qc or any specific occasions....once she decides to wear hijjab.. i think..i'll be the happiest friend on earth... haa.. to qilah..i know u will.. and i'm waiting for the day...as long as i am alive... hopefully... it happens before i pass away... but if my soul and my body do part before the moment... i know u would never let me down... and please don't tell Allah on the day of judgment that I never advice u to do so... as i might not know what i should say in front Him as u are my dearest friend of mine...
  7. i wish i can see my parents and family... haven't seen them for almost 8 months and really miss them.. i want to tell them how much i love them.. i want to hug my mum as long as i could...i want to play with my nieces and nephews... i really love kids... especially babies and toddlers.. they are so cute... my heart will be tempted with excitement whenever i see them laughing...
  8. i can give some of my possessions to those who are needy... i think i posses too many worldly materials which will burden me one day as it seems as if I'm not using Allah gifts wisely...whilst i know there are some people who need these things more... to those who read my blog... take this as a will.. if i die.. do give all my belongings to those who need them...keep them not..as i will not rise from death and come back to this world and use them..but i will be awakened on the day of resurrections and will be questioned about those things... Subhanallah...
  9. i wish that my non-Muslims friends will become Muslims especially those who are in my 'list'... so far..no success..but, give up not! wink*...
  10. i also wish.. i can tell all my Muslims friends how much i love them.. as i read Riyadhusalihin once and it says..if we love a Muslim..we should tell him or her....what a greatest nikmat on earth which can only be tasted by us, 'ukhwah'... and how those non-Muslims miss this great thing... to all my brothers and sisters in Islam... i love u all for the sake of Allah as i wish..Allah will love me back...Amin...
  11. herm.. this eleventh wish is pretty weird.. but laugh at me not as i am serious... haha.. opps..why am i laughing..herm... i wish i have a son and name him Mus'ab... huhu.. i am so influenced and amazed by the character of Mus'ab ibn Umayr, one of the great companion of the prophet...but.. maybe i will not live long enough to get married and have son..huhu.. therefore..if anyone has the same amazement of a beautiful character of Mus'ab.. doubt not to name ur son Mus'ab... huhu...does anyone willing to pursuit my dream as i may not be alive tomorrow???? hands up??? hehe...
  12. herm..talking bout marriage... i want to see one of my dearest friend gets married..herm..this friend of mine, whom i know her since form 4.. is the most sincerest friend i ever seen.. i can say really caring... another friend of mine once said.. she is the most caring friend he ever meet...she is the one who always be there whenever i need a friend... i can say, she is the one who i will tell almost everything...huhu... and right now.. from my observance..im seeing her 'hijrah'....i know..about this hijrah thingy...we are in this phase right now.. may Allah guide us to the right path...but to this friend of mine.. her hijrah.. really excited me... im happy seeing her pacing phase by phase everyday... and, her change is sort of my inspiration...it boost my spirit to do better...hiiii... :)..so.. i want to see her gets married because... i want her to be with a perfect man who will guide her and love her and treat her in a way which Allah prefers... once i see this... i will be satisfy as i know..she will be happy and stay guided... :) herm..this friend of mine is mastura othman..
  13. i also wish another friend of mine, called oya who is in the same phase...revolution... will be succeeded in her life dunya and akhirat... i was not that close to her before... but with Allah will, RMIT has brought us together ..and i really enjoy this closeness of a blossoming friendship... and..maybe i want to see her getting married as well..hhahhaa..same goes to qilah... i want to see u getting married..huhu...for the same reason... i want them to obtain a great life and stay guided..i will be happy.... forget not to invite me..if..i am still alive...
  14. herm..my 14th wish... i should put this at the very beginning of this list but i forgot.. i wish everyone in this world whom i may have hurt, inflicted pains, spoken and done bad things, offended or anything which bring discontent to ur heart will forgive me... i am so really really asking for ur forgiveness hence Allah will forgive me...and.. insyaAllah.. i will always forgive all my brothers and sisters in Islam...
well..so far..its 14.... its not the end of the list yet..haha..if i am still alive tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.. maybe i will keep the list goes on and on..but enough for now... as... these are just wishes... but i wish they will be true.. be live or die... i hope, they will come true...insyaAllah.. whatever it is..be live or die... i wish tomorrow will always be better than today... Amin...

Friday, September 7, 2007

LONELINESS

I am all alone in my apartment... but i know He is watching me... n His loyal angels are jotting down every single deed of mine.. hopefully this blogging thing ain't something bad... i need to keep on writing... this is, sort of self reminder.. cause, i might forget how i feel today, at this very moment..once i open my eyes tomorrow..if only..i do open my eyes, again... Somehow.. i really like being alone... i feel closer to Him... i become very needy, and i know He is there to suffice me... i feel really vulnerable, yet i know... i can always turn to Him... But...there are things at the back of my mind which..i try hard to forget... but it keeps coming back to me... especially, when I'm alone...my past... undoubtedly, it is really hard to get rid of the past...its not that i want to forget.. its just, i wish.. i don't think too much...its sort of unpleasant feelings...I'm haunted by my past..and its really hard to deal with...regret and repent never seemed enough... thinking about all the sins I've committed...i keep asking myself, why did i do such and such...say i was 'jahil'.. i don't think its an appropriate word..because... sometimes.. i really know such and such thing..it is 'haram'...it is a wrong deed.. yet still.. Ya Allah... i don't want to be amongst the wrongdoers anymore...i ask for Ur forgiveness... Forgive me O' Lord.. I wonder, how long do i still have before my journey in this world comes to the end??? do i have enough time to strengthen the piety in my heart??? do i have enough time to divert all my attentions n love toward this 'dunya' into the greatest love and submission to 'akhirat'..??? n do i have enough time to do good deeds and erase all the sins I've committed....??? do i??? do i???

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I AM A SLAVE



أنا العبد الذي كسب الذنوبـــا وصدته الأماني أن يتوبــــــــا

أنا العبـد الـذي أضحـى حزينـــاً على زلاته قلقاً كئيـبــــــــــا

أنا العبد الذي سطـرت علـيـــه صحائف لم يخف فيها الرقيـبــــا

أنا العبد المسيــئ عصـيـت سراً فما لي الآن لا أبدي النحيـبـــا

أنا العبد المفرط ضــاع عـمـــري فلم أرع الشبيبة والمشـيـبـــــا

أنا العبـد الغريـق بلج بحــــــــرٍ أصيـح لربما ألقــى مجيبـــــــــا

أنا العبد السقيـم مـن الخطـايــا وقد أقبلت ألتمـــس الطبيـبــا

أنا العبد الشريد ظلمت نفسي وقد وافيت بابكـم منيـبــــــــا

Monday, September 3, 2007

MENGEMIS KASIH

Tuhan dulu pernah aku menagih simpati
Kepada manusia yang alpa jua buta
Lalu terheretlah aku dilorong gelisah
Luka hati yang berdarah kini jadi parah

Semalam sudah sampai kepenghujungnya
Kisah seribu duka ku harap sudah berlalu
Tak ingin lagi kuulangi kembali
Gerak dosa yang menhiris hati

Tuhan dosa itu menggunung
Tapi rahmat-Mu melangit luas
Harga selautan syukurku
Hanyalah setitis nikmat-Mu di bumi

Tuhan walau taubat sering kumungkir
Namun pengampunan-Mu tak pernah bertepi
Bila selangkah kurapat pada-Mu
Seribu langkah Kau rapat padaku

SO MEANINGFUL!!!

Saturday, September 1, 2007

BIG EVENT

i know its hard.. i know it fr the very beginning.. opting this decision..its hard man..really hard.. i know... i know it very well... but i think i can do it... i really think so....by thinking so...am i being a hypocrite?? am i a deceitful person... look at me...I'm still me, not much has changed...well..externally, those who know me before might notice a few changes...yet..what matter most, ain't what people can see and judge...external things...huh..there are just claddings.. what with so fantastic look externally but inside..huh crap.. eg; Guggenheim museum, Bilbao by Frank Ghery , those titaniums thingy, its merely cladding man..internally.. just a conservative spaces... look at Adolf Loos's Muller Villa... isn't it interesting.. externally, so humble, so rational, very pure forms but interior..so rich with meanings..very luxurious... no one will know by passing by the villa unless they get in it...Oooopss...what with this archi stuffs.. haha...well.. i call this non-secular approach... hahah..k.. back to what im saying before.. its something unseen..something inside..something in me..something which only He knows...day by day.. moment by moment..which pass by there is a feeling..in me...indescribable...its not something burdensome sort of things...yet, not a pleasure at the same time... guess what... I'm thinking of DEATH.... Allah says, "every soul shall taste death"... ok.... what with this many-people-don't-like-to-talk-about-topic...???? well.. the question is... am i afraid of death?????...as a Muslim... I SHOULD NOT!!!... therefore...obviously... i cant say i am... but..what with this worries... i am really am... i feel like..like... i'm not ready...ok, define 'ready'... i rather use example... the mid sem crits is coming (which is on this coming Monday actually...haha..current issue)..or maybe for other people (those non-archi-related human being who migth not know what on earth is this mid crits thing) take exams instead...if u haven't finished the model, haven't done the drawings ( i should be doing my drawings instead of writing this blogs... just cant help it..something inside trigger me so much..heh) or.. haven't studied...these are considered as not ready circumstances prior to crits or exams... will u feel afraid??? r u u scared???? obviously..yea...n u will say... Owh God..I'm not ready..SO SCARED... what am i going to do... what if i failed??? k...generally speaking when one is not ready..more or less... he or she will feel afraid of the consequences....so..so what... about this DEATH thing... am i scared??? am i?? NOOOOOOOOOOO.. i can't say that.. I'm a Muslim.. n a Muslim shouldn't scare of death... then what???? i did say i'm not ready... did i???? WHATTTTTTTTTTT?????? waaaaaaaaa... so...so???? arghhh.. see.. this is the thing... i know no one can give me the answer... the truth is... finding the answer weather i am ready or not..isn't what i should be doing... knowing that... i should prepare myself instead... i am... i am trying hard to prepare myself for that big event in my life...but..it never seemed enough... and im so worried where will i end up in once all my deeds be judged by The Almighty...??? i really want Jannah... really want it... MashaAllah..knowing all the ultimate pleasures in Jannah.. who would refuse to get in it....??? and...im trying my best not to be amongst those, the dwellers of hell fire... but im afraid (arghhh.. again; 'afraid) i become one, out of my consciousness... Subhanallah..learning how horrible is the punishment...who would dare to get in...??? Ya Allah... I'm a week servant..become strong by the strength which u bestowed me... guide me in the right path... help me in preparing myself to face death...so i can awake with a smiling face on the day of judgment...o ME, be prepared...it might be tomorrow, might be in the next hour... go and get ready...hey, GET READY!!!...i am... huh???by writing a blog???? is that what u call preparing??? u got to be kidding me...hahha... err...er..